How do I get rid of this anger for other teen guys alive, after my friend died?

My friend passed away nearly two months ago. I miss him a lot and am hoping for the impossible. I recently ran into my old friend Alen, his brother, and some of their basketball buddies. Well when I saw them I was “eh” about seeing them. Then I started thinking when I got home: “Geez they are so annoying, why couldn’t they have died instead?” I literally am being over run by a feeling of wanting all other teen guys dead and my friend back. Is it wrong to think this way? They don’t deserve to die, but it’s like a secret wish. They are nice guys, it’s nothing personal, but it’s just… ugh! I also have a secret fantasy of being in a relationship, making them emotionally attached to me, then hurting them. Is this wrong?