Do you have to offer that which you want in others?

I was just looking back on the question about what makes a woman irresistible and remembering qs about what makes a good partner and it got me thinking – when we look for something in people, should we have it in ourselves (barring all the physical differences and whatever your preference…these are things not specific to a sex/gender)...for example, you want someone who is funny and loyal…are you funny and loyal? Do you have to be?

This isn’t about whether or not opposites attract or whether you want qualities that mirror yours or complete yours, is it? I mean if you want someone intelligent, shouldn’t you be? People always ask ‘why can’t I find someone who’s just x, y, and z’ and I often think ‘because even you aren’t those things’.

In my opinion, the answer is yes – you should be inspiring if you want inspiration, you should be passionate if you want passion, you should be a good listener if that’s what you want in a partner and until you cultivate all of your own amazingness, you shouldn’t complain no one out there wants you.