I'm still feeling hopeless, but my life is starting to look up... what should I do?

Everything is going great for me, but I still feel hopeless. Every time I get an ounce of happiness, I’m flooded by feelings of hopelessness and dejection. I met a new friend who I really like. He is on my friends basketball team and he is really sweet. He is somewhat an introvert like me and he doesn’t seem like a braindead jock. I just feel like if I like someone else, I’m just giving up on my fantasy of my friend. I know the options are either A. I live with my fantasy of my friend who passed away, with no one because I will feel horrible and hate them for trying to get rid of my friend.. replace him. Or B. Forget my friend and start a new. I don’t have it in me to leave my fantasy. If that goes, I go. I’d become so hurt, I’d die from stress straining my heart muscles.. AKA broken heart syndrome. I hate when people say “it takes time.” No, it doesn’t. I could choose to not care and live carelessly, but this is what I’m choosing. Not one person can make us feel anything. We put the feelings into ourselves. I don’t think I should continue seeing any of my friends at the gym. I get breaks from the hospital, but seeing them is useless. I might as well rot in my bed. I know that if I still love my fantasy, then whars the point right?