Why is it, when boys/men cry, they want to be left alone, while girls/women do, they need the opposite?

Okay I’ll try to keep this short.. I could write a whole book about it but here it goes;
My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 years now. Our relationship started when I was 17 yrs. old. I didn’t know much about relationships, he’s the first one I truly love, my first serious and long term relationship. I don’t know exactly how or why but I managed to hurt him without wanting to. I can be mean at times.. so can he, but still.

When I cry, even when the reason is bc of something he did, I want him to hold me and tell me he loves me and everything’s going to be ok. When he cries, b/c of something I did or the way I behaved over the last couple of years, he pushes me away, and is “cold”. While I want to do something about it and take away the pain and show him how much I love him. It hurts me too to see how I fucked up and not being allowed to do anything about it. I’ve learned alot though.. It’s a shame I had to learn everything through his pain. B/c he has to deal with the pain of my mistakes..