{NSFW} Is the responce to proximity of same-sex genitals in heterosexuals during a threesome/orgy a gendered one?

I know that sounds complicated, so let me explain. I often hear heterosexual men explicitly state that as long as ‘parts don’t touch’ they don’t mind being in a threesome with another guy and a woman or some variation of said phenomenon. I simply don’t hear the same thing from heterosexual women when they describe their ideal threesome experiences with another woman and a man. Therefore, the response is gendered because men fear this ‘possibly gay’ (as if touching genitals of another man makes a man gay) experience more than women, in my opinion.

So, help me tease out the various issues going on here: we know, in our society, it is more acceptable to both men and women to see two women make out then for two men to make out (making generalizations, here) – this, in my opinion, has to do with general sexism that all genders partake in (women are used to and implict in being viewed as objects through a ‘male gaze’ and thinking that it is simply ‘more beautiful’ when two women do it than when two men do it…again, not all women think this). We also know that (or it’s been my experience anyway) that men are more vocal about denying/excusing anything having to do with male-on-male contact that can be perceived as sexual by other people. But how does this connect to people’s actual sexual practices. What happens when the penises do (accidentally or not) touch during said threesome/orgy? Should there be an explanation, is there an exclamation? What have been your experiences?