Dilemma: No longer in love with the person supporting me?

Okay, I need help and am very frustrated.

About two years ago I started seeing this 25 year old guy. I was 17, living with my dad and his gf who had just moved me across the United States. Home life wasn’t good so I vented by sneaking around with this older man. About a week from my 18th birthday I am so fed up with my home life I leave and move in with my boyfriend. It wasn’t that I wanted to live with him, it was that I didn’t know where else to go. We have been through a lot and he has suported me this entire time (I am now 19). We now have an apartment and two cats that i love. I am just not in love with him. I don’t think I ever was in love with him. I love him, yeah, but not in this way. I don’t even think hes attractive anymore, I never want to have sex or do anything because i am repulsed by him. I hate his personality and we have very little in common.I think hes too old for me now and a pervert. Im about to start college and I feel trapped in this ‘life’ with him. I feel like I should be acting my age and not feel like a 50 year old woman in a loveless marriage. I feel so much older than i am. I get depressed a lot. MY boyfriend is a good guy hes just not what i want, we arent compatible. He loves me and would be heartbroken if i left and I would be sad to leave the house and the cats. Not to mention I don’t know where I would go, my family living on the other side of the country. Everytime I hangout with other guys I feel like cheating. I don’t want to cheat on him bt im scared that i am wasting my life with him. I really don’t know what to do and need advice asap. This is killing me.