What's your best one liner I can use to knock the socks off my inlaws' feet at a family gathering?

My husband’s family is very loud and very funny. It’s hard to contribute anything worthwhile in the conversation because most of what comes out of my mouth is pale in comparison to their sharp, sharp conversations. Can you give me a good one liner I can keep in my hip pocket to pull out at the next family function? No conditions, no parameters. Just whatever you’ve got that’s short and sharp. Oh, and sarcasm is fine. As long as it’s not too mean or rude.