[NSFW] What significance does having sex for the first time with someone have for you?

I think some people have rules about sex. They may not be articulated rules or conscious rules, but I think people have a good idea of what the first sexual experience with someone symbolizes. In fact, there is symbolism to the steps—first kiss, first touching, first oral sex, first intercourse.

As an example, I think that some people might believe that if they have sex with someone, it means they trust them and that they expect the relationship to last for a few months at least, if not longer. Other people may think that sex means little. It just means we’re friends. Still others might think that sex means you owe me dinner or that because you paid for dinner you are owed sex.

I think this differs for men and women. For women, it is what does sex mean, as I described above. For men, it’s more—how much effort am I willing to put into this relationship? I.e., someone who is serious about a long term relationship might be willing to woo for months or years. Whereas someone who only wants sex, might quit after a couple of hours of chatting up in a bar, or after a few dates, if it is harder for them to get a woman to put out.

So how much do you want from a guy, ladies? What does it mean to you when you do get intimate?

How much effort are you willing to put into it, guys? What does it mean to you when you do get intimate?