What would you need to say in order to update your profile (here or anywhere else)?

I haven’t updated my profile in a long time—a year perhaps? It contains stuff important to me when I wrote it, but out of date now. I’ve noticed some other people with profiles written around the same time I wrote mine that also remain unchanged. I wonder what they would say now? What would they say if they wrote something that was actually descriptive of who they are?

When did you last update your profile? Is it very descriptive of you, or is it kind of jokey or evasive? Is it different (in spirit, not literal wording) from profiles you put on other websites? Why is it the way it is? How would you change it to make it truly descriptive of you?