Please tell me how to transport a large, hot turkey fifteen miles away?

Cook it in a plastic roasting bag. I’m not kidding; there are bags made specifically for the purpose of roasting turkeys. Then pack the bag (unopened) in its roasting pan (which will still be ‘clean’) in a box lined with lots and lots of newspaper. The newspaper will serve as both insulation and padding to prevent the thing from “sloshing around” in the box.

An insulated cooler will keep it hot. Or an insulated shopping bag, I think they are less than $10 at my local grocery store. The roasting bag @CyanoticWasp suggests would keep it clean.

The suggestions above are perfect.
I like the KISS method the best and would just ask my dates to get into the car ;)
Happy Thanksgiving Aster!

I would even get into the trunk if @lucillelucillelucille asked told me to.

@lucillelucillelucille the same to you, Lucille ! I hope all goes well with this chore ! lol

Put it on the exhaust manifold.

This is what my mother-in-law did once, and it was easy to carry and kept the turkey hot. Right after cooking the turkey, she transferred it from the roasting pan to another large pan. It has to be deep enough to hold any juices from the turkey. She wrapped it all completely in a couple layers of foil, then put the pan into a laundry basket that had been lined with bath towels. She then placed another couple of towels over the turkey, tucking them around the bird to cover it and hold it in place in the laundry basket.

Although now that you can easily buy those insulated bags to keep things hot, like @jaytkay pointed out, that might be easier.

Whatever you do, make sure you also keep the juices from the roasting pan to make gravy! Pour them into a tupperware container or something and take them along with the turkey!

^^^^^ But when u use the roasting bags you don’t have any juices in the pan. They’re floating in the roasting bag. So you don’t have the dark bits in the bottom of the pan to use for gravy. Oh, dear.

@Aster believe me, the juices and bits are all there in the bag. If you really want to scorch them in a pan for that ‘homemade’ taste as you prepare gravy from them, then go ahead and do that.

You can also cook inside a brown paper (kraft) bag—a standard shopping bag—if you prefer. The bag will get greasy, but will stay intact. (And since you can safely eat that paper if you want to—though why anyone would aside from my dorg is beyond me—then it’s safe to use, too.)

Trebuchet?

^LOL