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Jude's avatar

Those of you who have lost a loved one, how do you think that you life would different, if they were still around?

Asked by Jude (31993 points ) April 25th, 2011

Or, would it?

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19 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I think about this a lot, because my sister was so disabled. I wonder what HER life would be like if she was still alive today. The thing is that in recent years they have made strides in both treatment and testing of children that suffer from the same affliction, and the majority not only survive.. but some thrive. What she had was extraordinarily rare, and still is, so it would be difficult to predict how she would be if she were still alive. I can’t imagine it. She is always a child in my memory. As for my life, I think that my role as a caregiver would be in tact.. then again, I never gave that up. It has been a part of me since the day she came home, and I have never been able to let it go. So I guess that isn’t much different, anyhow. I do owe it to her, though.
I wrote this on your FB status and it told me I didn’t have permission to post it because you deleted the status, I copy & pasted. lol.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

My dad died two years ago and I imagine if he were still around,we would be doing alot of golfing.I miss his attitude and strength.I know only one person who comes close to being as tough as he was.
My mom died over a decade ago and we would be visiting as often as possible and doing many things together as well.She truly appreciated the little things in life.
I am a happy person but I really do think I would have even more joy in my life with her around as she was a beautiful,lovely,funny woman with a huge heart.

:)

wundayatta's avatar

My band leader died seven years ago. If he had stuck around, I think I’d be a lot better musician.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I lost a bunch of loved one’s when I was young and that rerouted my entire life. I would have gone back to the farm after college, etc etc. I also think that changed how I view and value other people around me and it made me much more tolerant and accepting of others. Now that I’m older each one I lose is like a ray of light that’s no longer there. I haven’t lost any of the immediate family, but each person brings their own special gifts and when they’re gone it deeply saddens me.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe well said. You make me wonder just how losing someone changes the way we perceive life and death, personally. I’m sure it varies, but I wonder if there is a common connection there. I also tend to be more open and more inclined to keep people close, because I fear losing someone else. I also know that I am touched by the loss of those that I am not especially close to, which some people think is unusual. Your answer really made me wonder a little.

creative1's avatar

My dad died when I was 17 and I was suppose to go to college after high school but after his death my mother couldn’t afford it and the thought of student loans scared me…. so I took classes here and there at different colleges but never went away to college for Fashion Design in NYC like originally planned…. So who know maybe I would have an actual career in Fashion Design instead since I went to a vocational school and took it in high school and I loved it for those 4 years. I don’t like to think of the what ifs because my life has been great otherwise and my mother did the best she could when the love of her life was taken from her and leaving her with 4 kids to raise alone

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I think losing someone really close, maybe more so if it’s unexpected and more of a shock, teaches the value of life. That’s all life, even the lives of people we’ve never met, so I understand that. I think going through it also may teach us that we can survive the pain, so we are a little more open about caring for those that are important to us.

seazen_'s avatar

It would just be better – I miss them.

creative1's avatar

@seazen_ I know what you mean!!! There is another but its too hard to even contemplate how my life would be different so why even go there!

stardust's avatar

It’s not something I can bring myself to think about a lot, as it reinforces the pain of the loss. I wish things were different though.

Meego's avatar

My life is different now, at least if my husband were here it would be the same or better…I hate the change really, and it’s been really hard to adjust, I now find myself longing to have it all back again, if I knew then what I know now though, I would definitely make a difference before that fateful day.

JLeslie's avatar

I think I would have children, have been through a lot of bad times, still live in MD, and be divorced.

shego's avatar

I lost my mom a little over two years ago. But I have noticed that since she’s been gone, I don’t really care for the holidays. I get really depressed.
So if she were around, I’m sure I would be much happier. Instead I feel like family functions are a waste of time. I miss my mom.

takeachance's avatar

I think if my really good friend Will and his parents were still here today, that it would be very different. I would still see him nearly everyday, go chill with him at his place and at mine, still go down to the river and still walk to schoool together. Since he has been gone I get mum to drive me to school, because the thought of walking to school alone without Will just doesnt feel right. Ihaven’t been to the river since and I try to avoid whats left of his house as much as possible. (House Fire).
And this happened 6 months ago…

dxs's avatar

I’d get to eat my grandmother’s molasses cookies and oatmeal cookies. I miss their taste; no other molasses or oatmeal cookie tastes the same/as good.

ddude1116's avatar

If my grandparents were still alive, I would probably be a lot wittier and a better cook because of my grandma, and more of a movie buff because of my grandfather…

blueiiznh's avatar

Of course it would be different because having a loved one still around was adding to lifes experiences in a positive way. It creates a miss and nostalgia feeling.
However hard it is to miss them and wish for them to be around, I continue on and do things in their honor or spirit.

anartist's avatar

With someone who has died too soon—no question but that life would be a damn sight happier were they still here.

Inspired_2write's avatar

In my case my Mother was in her early 90 yrs of age and everthing was slowly
fading away,her hearing,her eyesight,her mind ( alzheimers), then her health
deteriorated until she lost a lot of weight.She was a skeleton when she finally passed on.
I would not want my mother to suffer anymore.
There were many times that we as family felt hopeless in assisting her.
Other than making her last days,months,years comfortable, and loving her,
there was little we could do.
She passed away in a Nursing Home alone at night with no one around to comfort her.
They discovered her in the morning.
She passed away in her sleep. A peacefull passing.
If she had the lived any longer it would have been cruel, to her to remain in that condition.
Some People a lucky enough to live a long life.
Others in good health and some not so. We can all hope that in the end we die peacefull and with a well lived life behind us.

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