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Jude's avatar

How should I deal with this distraction during therapy?

Asked by Jude (31971 points ) August 5th, 2011

I just came back from a therapy session. The first counselor that I dealt with had these expressive eyes. They would get huge (extremely wide). It was distracting.

You may know the type. You meet up with an individual, who at first, appears normal. Then, while talking with them, you notice that theirs eyes get bigger (expressive). I’m talking huge (think Princess Diana eyes, but, really, really huge and expressive). It can be a distraction. I don’t know if it’s tick, or nervous habit. How do you deal with it?

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19 Answers

flutherother's avatar

I think I would have shot him, he sounds like an alien in disguise.

Jude's avatar

@flutherother It was a women and, honestly, she was beautiful. It’s just those eyes.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@flutherother Wouldn’t that be a little counterproductive?lol
@Jude That’s creepy, but maybe she’s just really into her job, which I would take as a good sign.

flutherother's avatar

@Jude You must have been telling her something very interesting.

redfeather's avatar

I feel like it’s something learned so you feel like they’re really interested and paying attention. If it gets distracting, look away. Especially if you like her as a counselor.

Jude's avatar

@redfeather I see what you’re saying. I did have to look away a few times.

It doesn’t help that she’s cute. I feel as though she is looking into my soul, lol.

rebbel's avatar

I think the best thing that you can do in this situation @Jude , is to tell her, the next time you visit her.
Especially since she is your therapist, which means you will get an important relationship, and this distraction could threaten your therapy.
If you don’t, those eyes will get bigger, BIGGER and even BIGGER.
Tell her.
She most probably knows herself that she has ‘special’ eyes and most probably will not be bothered by your telling her.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I am that person, with the huge, expressive eyes. I have a really animated face, and I know that it bugs certain people. I never mind when people point it out. Sometimes all it takes is breaking the ice. I mean, I still have an animated face and expressive eyes, but I swear I think that people who are bothered by it just feel more comfortable after they’ve gotten it off their chest. Maybe that’s all you need.

tinyfaery's avatar

Tell her. A therapist will always want to know if they do something that is bothersome to you in some way.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Ours asks to close your eyes. You could just tell the therapist why you need to divert your eyes or close them while talking.

mrentropy's avatar

My therapist sometimes looks like she’s going to cry. I take that as a bad sign, but I don’t find it distracting. But I reckon telling her would be a start.

augustlan's avatar

I had a similar problem, with a therapist I loved. It wasn’t looking me in the face during sessions though, thank goodness. She had this… depression in her back, like someone had stabbed her with a pencil, and the skin had remained indented. She had the unfortunate habit of wearing shirts with a ‘keyhole’ back, that perfectly framed it, too. I took to calling it ‘the blowhole’ in my head. Since it wasn’t visible during the actual therapy, I was able to quickly put it out of my mind.

In your case, I think I’d tell the therapist that I had a hard time talking while she was looking at me, and ask her if she’d mind if I don’t make eye contact while talking. This is all assuming you like her in other ways. I bet after a few sessions, it won’t bother you anymore.

Bellatrix's avatar

I would find that distracting Jude. I used to visit a doctor and she had (what my husband calls) punter’s eyes (a bet each way). One went in one direction and the other one looked straight at you. I didn’t know which eye to look at! It made me very uncomfortable.

Bellatrix's avatar

The link doesn’t work @woodcutter.

Hibernate's avatar

You where either saying interesting things or the therapist was really interested in what you were saying. I know this sounds pretty much the same but it’s not. Even when you say something interesting the other party doesn’t always seem interested.

You should not look into his eyes. Some were raised not to look others in their eyes. But you should not get that uncomfortable. Tell him about that thing he does with the eyes.

woodcutter's avatar

@Bellatrix I was trying to post a pic of lady Gaga with the big eyes but I blew it. It worked when I was getting it but not after I answered. Sigh.

Bellatrix's avatar

Don’t you just hate that :D

woodcutter's avatar

@Bellatrix Yes i do, like what the hell, it worked in rehearsal and when it’s showtime it bails on me? Hmmmph.

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