Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Women, how can the guy kiss you if you don't want him to?

Asked by wundayatta (58377 points ) September 12th, 2011

It’s not clear to me how this happens, since I’ve never done it, but it sounds like I’ve been missing a bet. Like, if I wanted to kiss a girl, I should have just grabbed her and kissed her. She wouldn’t turn her head aside or kick me in the nuts or screamed bloody murder like I thought any woman might who didn’t want to be kissed would do; she would just have stood there and let it happen.

But I have heard so many stories where women seem to be passive, as if they have no say in the matter. If a guy wants to kiss her and she doesn’t want it, there’s nothing she can do.

I know this isn’t all the time, but still, it shocks me that it happens any of the time. Where does this passivity come from? Why do girls feel they don’t have any say in the matter (when they feel that way, anyway)?

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16 Answers

abysmalbeauty's avatar

I turn my head. However its very abnormal that it would even get that far since I would back up if he got to close to my face….

Londongirl's avatar

I will let the guy take the initiative to kiss me first if I like him I let him kiss me, but if I don’t I will stop him by pulling my head away or step back saying sorry. I don’t like to mess around people heart.

flo's avatar

The same reason as people who allow their partners to beat them. They don’t have enough self esteem.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’ve only had one guy land one on me when I wasn’t expecting it (we were talking and he was fast). I just looked him squarely in the eye and told him not to do it again.

Londongirl's avatar

@tranquilsea I kind of like it though all this unexpected kiss, quite romantic, if you like the guy that way of course. :)

tranquilsea's avatar

@Londongirl For me, even if I was enjoying his company I didn’t appreciate it. We’d have to be both on the same page.

Mariah's avatar

I think part of what happens is the girl might be very surprised and caught off guard and won’t react quickly enough to avoid it.

Londongirl's avatar

@tranquilsea Ah…. I guess we are different then… I do like guy I like have a surprise kiss on me, it is romantic. :)

Judi's avatar

If I let someone that close to my face, I probably want to kiss them. Then again, When I was single, I liked kissing a lot. (I still do, I am just pickier about who I kiss now :-)

AshLeigh's avatar

Haha. If I let them that close I probably wouldn’t feel the need to stop them from kissing me. :P
If I didn’t want them to, I’d just be like “Ummm… No.”

JLeslie's avatar

Low self esteem.

Peer pressure.

Being raised or expected to be accomodating.

Being raised to be obedient.

Being raised to not make waves.

Being rewarded for being passive.

Wanting to be liked.

Being caught off guard.

Not having a plan ahead of time to push the other person away.

Doing what is culturally expected.

Not wanting to be perceived as mean.

Londongirl's avatar

@JLeslie It sounds like a multiple choice type of answers with the tick in the right boxes if apply…

JLeslie's avatar

@Londongirl Then I should have added all of the above so the woman’s hand doesn’t get a cramp.

Londongirl's avatar

@JLeslie You can tied their hands up first before giving the answers so that her hands won’t get a cramp???

Haleth's avatar

I’ve been surprised by a kiss once when I didn’t not want it, but was still deciding/waiting for the right moment. I wanted to be really suave about it. He swooped in like an eagle or a ninja- something very fast and stealthy. I was just turning to talk to him and he kissed my teeth and our faces kind of mashed together.

In my case, it was speed and the element of surprise. The second try was a lot more successful. :)

augustlan's avatar

I’ve been ambush kissed twice in my life. Once, as a young teenager, by a guy I really liked but didn’t think I should be dating, and had turned down for an incredibly stupid reason. He was black and I was white. (This was in the early 80s, and I’d been raised in a pretty racist family environment.) He literally grabbed my arms, pushed me against the wall (not violently), and kissed me. Then he angrily said, “There. Now was that any different than kissing a white guy?” I was shocked as hell, but admitted that he was exactly right. We dated for quite a while afterward, and he is still one of my favorite past boyfriends. He ended up being my mother’s favorite, too!

The other time, I was an adult, and it was at work. I thought this male co-worker had just been harmlessly flirting with me, and pooh-poohed my (now ex-) husband’s concerns. I mean, the guy knew I was married, and all. I was leaning close to him, talking about work, going over some paperwork and he just came right at me. I turned my head, and he only got my cheek. I slapped him and told him to never touch me again. Then I had to go home and tell my husband he’d been right. :/

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