Before you ever get into your car, write down the things that really get you pissed off on the road when they happen.
People driving to slowly
People talking on their phones and weaving
People tailgating
People cutting you off
Or whatever else it may be.
Then think about the real reasons why people do these things, even if you think the real or only reason is because they’re arseholes. Some of the people that do these things are simply arseholes, but what difference does that make? It doesn’t make any difference.
Most of the other people that do these things do it because they are: attempting to follow the speed limit, may have some sort of car trouble that you are unaware of, have some type of passenger that needs special attention (I had to drive very slowly on my surface streets right after my Dad’s heart surgery, so that he wouldn’t feel the painful impact of speed bumps or even driving over bots dots or even man hole covers, but I didn’t have a sign on my car that said I was transporting a heart patient) have some difficulty in hearing or seeing (maybe they shouln’t be driving, but since they are it’s better to give them a wide berth than to flip them off and potentially cause an accident) or they’ve just heard some devastating news on the radio that stunned them, or they’ve just left a funeral or a hospital or they’ve just been dumped and they’re in a terrible emotional state (again, maybe they shouldn’t be driving, but since they are you need to be the one that keeps both of you safe, not to be the cause of an accident) or they may have dropped something and foolishly tried to pick it up, or they may have spilled hot coffee in their lap, or they may have swallowed wrong and are having a coughing fit, or they may have allergies and are having a sneezing fit, or their kid is in the backseat kicking the seat or throwing things, or they may be a new or timid driver, or they might be from out of town and be unfamiliar with the area.
The point is, it doesn’t make any difference as to why anybody else is driving badly. But if you allow yourself to get angry and then try to retaliate against them by tailgating or speeding up in front of them and braking suddenly, of flipping them off, or weaving in front of them or flashing your lights at them or brandishing a weapon at them, then you are being a menace and creating the dangerous potential for a car crash.
I live in Southern California. I see this kind of sh*t every day. But I decided a long time ago, that I would be a good driver, a compassionate person and try to do everything in my power to keep myself, my passengers and the other people on the road (and on the sidewalk and in the cone zone) safe. I drive defensively, I pay attention, I plan my route so that I will always arrive a little early so as not to have to get upset and angry if one of these unfortunate drivers causes a problem or a delay.
My brother, good samaritan that he is, has pulled several people out of the wreckage of crashed and/or burning cars on the freeway. He’s not afraid of anything and has had some EMT training, but he has told me how horrific it is, when some poor frightened injured person has to be pulled from the wreckage while at the same time trying not to get himself or the injured person hit by another car.
So before you get into your car, think about all of these things and then come up with some ideas for what you will do instead of getting angry and taking it out on the bad drivers. What I do, is if I see someone driving foolishly or erraticly, I slow down a bit and move out of the way, so that they end up way up further in front of me. If I see someone that I suspect is drunk, I try to get their license plate number, then I pull over, or have my companion use the cell phone to call CHP, but I move away from them, let them pass, get out of their way. Simply don’t drive closely to people that are driving poorly. If you see someone up ahead (or a hazad like a dog or debris in the road) that is driving poorly, be kind and alert those behind you by tapping on your breaks, lightly, to make them flash, or put on your flashers and stick your hand out the window and point, so people won’t think that you are a bad driver and try to retaliate against you. If you accidentally do something stupid, try to get eye contact with the driver and mouth sorry and pat your hand on your chest (a signal to them that you are trying to acknowledge that you were at fault) and give them a little weak smile. More simply put, be a defensive driver, deliberately.
Do not purposely get closer to bad drivers, do the opposite. And clean up your own driving act. Use your turn signals, make head checks before you change lanes, don’t speed, don’t use your horn to teach people a lesson, if you have to use your horn to alert someone to a dangerous situation, use a few light taps instead of a loud blast of your horn, don’t flash your lights at people unless you’re doing it to alert them that their lights are off, plan your route to include a plan B if something goes wrong, leave earlier than you need to leave to get to your destination on time, don’t talk on the phone or text or eat while you are driving, if you are super emotional or angry, don’t drive until you’ve calmed down, never drink and drive ever, keep your music turned down so that you will be able to hear emergency vehicles, ans so as not to disturb other people at intersections, don’t insist on taking your right of way, give pleasant smiles and hand signals to let people know that you are letting them go first, when other people let you go first, give them a little thank you wave. Simply put, just pay more attention to driving safely and lose the “I’m right” and “I deserve to go first” attitude. Even if everybody else on the road is being a complete d*ckhead, that doesn’t mean that you have to be that way too.
