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MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Why do I always dream about where I grew up and not about where I live now?

Asked by MRSHINYSHOES (13928 points ) September 28th, 2011

I keep dreaming about the house and area where I grew up. I lived there until I was in my late teens. But I have never dreamed about where I am living now, not even once, even though I have lived here for almost 10 years. Why is that? Why haven’t I had a dream about where I’m living now?

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19 Answers

King_Pariah's avatar

Part of you may still see your childhood home as your real home and thus where you belong.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@King_Pariah It’s funny, but since I got married and moved away, my focus has been so much on my marriage and young family, on my life here, now. Yet I have never had a single dream about my life as it exists now. It’s always about a certain place in my old house, like in the kitchen there, or on the porch, etc.

woodcutter's avatar

Where you are now is reality. What’s to dream about there? You might need to head back there for a visit and get some pics That would be nice.

raven860's avatar

Wow, same here. I keep dreaming of my childhood home. No idea why or if it could possibly have a meaning? Maybe life feels too stressful now and we want to go back to our happy place? Haha.

ucme's avatar

Nostalgia!

Hibernate's avatar

Because you are very fond of that place.

wiseacre's avatar

Is the new place as sentimental as the old place?
Have you allowed enough time for your subconscious to adjust to the new surroundings?
Do you dhrish those memories of the previous place?
Do they make a familiarity that you desire?
Is it more the suroundings or the people in the dreams?

JLeslie's avatar

It is because of what the home represents. Are the dreams happy? Scarry? Sad? Do you have your wife and kids sometimes in the house you grew up in? Was the kitchen the place you spent time with your mom? Or, the porch a place you always felt happy?

Possibly your old house simply represents “home.” things that happen in early child stay with us, like they are the most permanently etched things in our memory. Alzheimers patients can remember long ago past better than a few hours ago, or even last week. You probably remember the names of your elementary teacher, but fewer of your high school or college teachers.

filmfann's avatar

I am tortured by dreams of my childhood home. We sold it after my Mom died 6 years ago.
I think your brain somehow refreshes it’s memories in dreams. I often dream of people I worked with 30 years ago, or jobs I stopped doing, or (shudders) High School.

john65pennington's avatar

Good times and great memories must have played a big part in the other address.
I love to dream, if it happens at all and the dream has something to do with a good time in my life.

I believe your psychi loves your past, better than your current life.

smilingheart1's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES, this turns out to be common enough among adults! Somewhere in my 40’s this subsided and it is now rare that I do dream of the childhood days and places, or a recurring childhood place. In my case, I needed some help because of unresolved childhood pain.

Our formative years leave us vulnerable to whatever our experience is at the time. Our minds in those early years are fertile ground for all kinds of perceptions, impressions, childish conclusions. Sometimes unkind even mean adult figures presided over us. The early childhood mind is not equipped to accurately come to terms with people, situations, experiences on the level that they need to be seen in grown up reality and therefore we end up storing away in our memories some things that we may only come to sort through decades later. I also believe nostalgia can be a part of it and only you can determine the likelihood of what these dreams are speaking to you about and if there is anything that you are coming to terms with to this day. @wiseacre and @JLeslie have some great questions to ask yourself. The one thing I realize is that our subconscious minds are always on our side, trying to help us unify in everyway.

Samonalove's avatar

Maybe you have good childhood memories or have bad memories that haunt you about it.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@wiseacre The present place I live in doesn’t carry the same sentimentality as the place where I grew up in. I used to own a lot of pets, and spent a lot of my time playing with my dogs and cats in the backyard, in and out of the house, in the alley, in the garage, etc. My siblings were older than me and played among themselves, so I basically spent much time by myself (parents always working 12 hour days, 7 days/week) with my pets and creating fun experiences for myself.

@JLeslie The dreams I have are usually pretty mundane, sometimes scary. I wasn’t married yet and I didn’t have kids yet because I lived there only til I was 17–18. My life with my wife and young family in the home where I have lived for almost 10 years is where I have a lot of happiness and many good memories too, but I have never dreamed about it, not even once, which I find odd. It’s always about the old place, even the park and street near the old house.

JLeslie's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES Your dreams are probably sorting through stresses in your life, and so your brain brings you back to a time when maybe you had similar feelings of fear, lack of confidence, indicision, whatever applies. Does that make sense, or am I off base?

Linda_Owl's avatar

Possibly this is a stress related dream. Right now our whole world is financially unsettled & almost anything can happen. Having a family is a tremendous responsibility & they are as vulnerable as you are. It sounds like you pretty much knew what to expect when you were a kid – which is the opposite of the way things are now. Maybe your dreams of your childhood home are an attempt to reconnect to a time when you knew what to expect, because today’s world is so out of control.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@JLeslie Yes, there is stress in my life, but not unlike the stress most other adults face. As a kid, I spent a lot of time by myself, with my animal friends of course, inventing games and exploring the environment around me. I was pretty happy as a child. In my present life, I am surrounded by a lot of human love, and I like the new home I am living in. I couldn’t be happier. But my dreams almost always take me to my original home, even the park and the neighbourhood there. I haven’t had a single dream about my present life or environment in all these years. Strange.

JLeslie's avatar

Interesting.

My scary dreams sometimes happen in the building I lived in as a young child. A couple of wierd dreams at the house I lived in as a teen. I can’t secifically remember any dreams that took place in the homes I have lived in as an adult actually, but I am not sure, I have never focused much on where the dream is happening, so of course I don’t have a clear memory.

Sephiath's avatar

I have the exact same thing with my dreams! I am 38 yrs old and have been away from my home town where I grew up for over 20 yrs now, and my dreams take place where I grew up until I was 18. I dream of people in my life presently but it’s always only taking place back home. I wish I knew why, and am glad that I finally found someone with my same condition. People have told me that my subconscious mind won’t let go, and I RARELY think about my hometown, but my dreams are so vivid and clear as if I was still there. I wish I knew why..

Future3000's avatar

I’m probably a few years late on the reply, however I’d like to share my experience. I constantly have dreams where I’m living back in the house I grew up in( lived there until I was 18). I’ve never once dreamed about living in any other house- even if it’s current day friends who are in the dream with me. I’m an only child so spent alot of time by myself in this house, and many a day exploring around in the backyard where there was literally a small forest of “evergreen” trees with a tree house my father had built me in the middle. There was also a creek flowing through the back of this “forest” with fruit trees on the other side. The house itself was an old fully renovated villa, which had held on to pretty much all of it’s character, even maintaining your classic “white picket” fence and big backyard( Almost 1 acre/4000sqm). The house even featured once in some Garden/ lifestyle magazine! It really was an amazing house to grow up in( no wonder I keep dreaming about it!). Anyway after owing the property for 20+ years my parents decided to subdivide the section( demolishing the ever green forest and fruit trees) and then built two additional houses on the section( one running along side the creek). Funnily enough I was all for it at the time, since my parents had plans to build some extravagant ultra modern house, which seemed like a nice change…Looking back now( I’m 26 years old), I can’t help but think of the old saying ” The grass is always greener on the other inside”, you never appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone. Although I Havant lived with my parents since I was 18, I want that dam house back! This might sound crazy but I’m planning on buying the house, plus the two additional houses my parents built. I then plan to demolish both the additional houses and re landscape the backyard and plant another ever green forest. This is the only way I’ll feel closure from reoccurring my dream.

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