Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

What is acceptable to not tolerate?

Asked by wundayatta (58321 points ) October 4th, 2011

This is the third in a series of toleration questions today. Obviously the last.

I think when we think of tolerance, we think of some unreasonable prejudices. We know that racism and sexism and homophobia are illegal in some societies. So is discrimination against the disabled or the aged. We want people to tolerate others based on these factors.

I’d like you to look at the other side. What are legitimate grounds to be intolerant of others in your opinion? Why do you feel you don’t have to tolerate that? Try to go for gray area intolerances, not things like murderers or rapists and other kinds of criminals.

For example, think instead of people like those who are unfaithful to their spouses. Do you tolerate infidelity in your circle of friends? If not, why not? Do you even bother to try to walk a mile in their shoes? What about people of other political parties? Religions? Supporters of rival sports teams (think soccer/football riots in England)?

Try to come up with other examples where there might be more ambiguity. Be brave, my friends! We will try to tolerate differences of opinion here! ;-)

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48 Answers

TexasDude's avatar

I don’t tolerate those who actively violate the rights of others.

Blackberry's avatar

I was going to take some for the team, but I told the community I would be good, haha.

However, I do think that this meme in America saying greed is good and screwing people over as long as it’s for the “American Way” is intolerable.

wundayatta's avatar

@Blackberry So what does intolerance of that idea look like? What happens when someone comes to you and tells you, “greed is good!”

Blackberry's avatar

@wundayatta Well, it’s only intolerable to me, of course. Because this is accepted by many.

I can’t really think of anything that’s intolerable that isn’t out of the norm besides certain religious practices.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

I don’t tolerate stupid teenagers and children who act like brats and misfits in public, while a lot of people tend to overlook them, using the excuse “Well, we were like that when we were teenagers too.” Give me a break.

the100thmonkey's avatar

I don’t tolerate any shit from my kids.

I can’t tolerate faulty logic. It’s a failing of mine that I tolerate (encourage?) because I rather like it.

I’m most intolerant of intolerance. How fucking dare anyone try to tell anyone else how to live their life.

philosopher's avatar

I do not tolerate bullies, manipulators or know it alls who No little. I stand up to Pseudo Intellectuals who have little practical experience. Especially in regards to my autistic son’s needs. I have little patience for stupidity. Degrees often do not equal practical experience. Good Teachers,Doctors and most other work require education and hands on training.

Blackberry's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES Whoa, haven’t typed in caps in a long time I know, right. It crosses a line when you know they can’t be that dumb, and they know what they’re doing.

Paradox1's avatar

I have very little tolerance and personal patience with rude and unkind people (unless I’m at work) and with bad drivers.

ucme's avatar

I can’t & won’t tolerate inaccurate, unjust criticism.
Like someone saying fotoball supporters still riot in England!?!
That’s just simply wrong, 30 years out of date to be precise.

wundayatta's avatar

@philosopher and @MRSHINYSHOES—when you say you don’t tolerate stupidity, what does that mean? How, in the course of your life, do you not tolerate stupidity? Do you try to educate the stupid? What?

@ucmeOn 1 December 2010, supporters of rival West Midlands clubs Aston Villa and Birmingham City clashed at St Andrew’s stadium after a Football League Cup tie, which resulted in 14 people being injured – less than 24 hours before England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup failed.[128] Missiles were hurled onto the pitch, a rocket flare was released in the stands, and there were also scuffles in nearby streets. By this stage, football hooliganism was rising dramatically, with 103 incidents of hooliganism involving under 19’s in the 2009–10 season compared to 38 the season before. Cass Pennant, a former football hooligan, said that the rise in football hooliganism was the result of rising unemployment, poverty, and social discontent in the aftermath of the recent recession.[129]

Source

But I understand that you haven’t turned on the telly in 30 years, so I forgive you your version of reality. In fact, let’s pretend I didn’t say anything at all. Wikipedia is just wrong. Right?

TexasDude's avatar

Most of all, I don’t tolerate rapists. I hate them with the intensity of a thousand suns and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if every last one of them was shot, but I guess that falls into my previous answer.

nikipedia's avatar

I find it hard to tolerate willful ignorance. When it’s not wildly inappropriate I argue against it as strongly as possible, but often enough people who are being intentionally stupid are beyond help.

ucme's avatar

@wundayatta Oh dear, let’s take an isolated incident & pass it off as the norm….actually no, let’s not!!
The overwhelming majority of football matches played in England over the past 20 + years have passed by without a solitary incident of violence/hostility. Family enclosures are commonplace & most clubs offer concessions to kids who are largely placed in a family enclosure. More women & children are attending matches than ever before. No source, I prefer my facts to based on experiences, not read off the telly/pc. Here endeth the lesson.
Tolerance my boy, tolerance!

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I’m pretty darned intolerant of a lot of things. I don’t tolerate my kids being disrespectful or destructive (And to hell with the saying “They’re just kids”. Yeah, they’re kids and they need to be properly taught unless you enjoy raising little sociopaths!) I don’t tolerate abuse of children or of animals.

I don’t tolerate other people telling me how to live my life. Opinions are fine, but “you have to blah blah blah” pisses me off. I don’t tolerate other people trying to pigeonhole me into a role that I don’t fit (like your “typical” suburban mom). I don’t tolerate my parents picking on me for liking tattoos and piercings.

I don’t tolerate other people’s children being destructive. I don’t tolerate other people’s spoiled rotten brats screaming in stores. I don’t tolerate people talking and/or texting during movies (at the theater). I could go on… but I won’t.

I don’t believe that everyone will find my intolerance to be “acceptable”, but I don’t think they’re 100% unacceptable, and frankly, I don’t care.

philosopher's avatar

@wundayatta
Since I have an autistic son. I have stood up to many ignorant Psychologist and Teachers. My son was taught with ABA. The only documented technique. They prefer to remain ignorant and refuse to learn what has been Scientifically proven to work. They are immoral, ignorant lazy people. I have No respect for them. They are people with Degrees that push paper but actually accomplish little. They would abuse autistic children and hold them back to keep their jobs.
I won every battle and I know eventually they will find out what it is like to deal with people as incompetent and immoral as them.
They taught me what it is like to totally disrespect someone. I would firer every one of them. They are worthless people.
I never put up with their stupidity and I always made them feel like fools if they dared to challenge my son’s right to an appropriate program. The people that do IEP in District 31 in NYC are wothless. They have No souls.

Ela's avatar

I am not tolerant of…
~Someone who makes themselves feel better by making someone else feel bad.
~Someone who doesn’t accept someone else for who they are.

I have a lot of personal experience with not being accepted for who I am and them making me feel bad for being myself. I believe if you don’t understand someone or cannot accept them as they are, you should either try to or just leave them alone.

[edited in] and ~People who are just plain mean.

flutherother's avatar

Being tolerant isn’t ideal as it implies that a prejudice exists which isn’t being acted upon (for the moment).

Blackberry's avatar

We shouldn’t tolerate butt sex without lube.

philosopher's avatar

@EnchantingEla
Beautiful written. I agree.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Physical conditions that actually act to alter either your life, or anothers life with intent to harm, debase or inflict pain.

I fight… I always have and I always will.

Defense is different than that as a cause and a reason to do so. If someone doesn’t want me to fight, then they need to not try to harm me.

Tolerance, like love. Is a means by which a human being experesses his or her own intent within said condition.

People project their own individual ideas of what simply is as a condition, itself by definition.

If one is to tolerate one thing, one should within reason understand how tolerance like everything else, can and is used as not only a condition of peace, but by the wrong person, used as well as a cause to negate its own purpose, against its own meaning.

Intent decides these things… and like I have always maintained.

“We created religion, psychics, psychiatrists as well as medications, for the simple reason that there is no way to prove human intent ticking behind demonstrations that more than not contradict themselves as being completely opposite their own projected purpose, as humans, knowing this more than not, we are forced to accept lies and forced to sit beside ingenuine people, KNOWING they are, but forced to trust because intent can’t be proven or known by anyone but the person expressing themselves through it.”

This is why I believe we ruiminate, why we fight why we medicate and why we hate. Tolerance is a decided stance against the human condition of hyprocracy inherent in all men on some level.

We are essentially… what we first and foremost judge in others. Tolerance allows the proper moment of perspective into both others and well as ourselves through others.

Ela's avatar

@philosopher thank you : )

Coloma's avatar

I am very tolerant and have much compassion for most of our human weaknesses, but I draw the line at abuse and exploitation.
I have a zero tolerance policy for fraudulent people, hypocrites and otherwise abusive personalities. I don’t care if you had a shitty childhood, you are unconscious of your “stuff”, you just don’t care, or you are emotionally retarded and stuck at the level of a 4 year old, under stress, or suffering from some sort of stress related crisis that seems to bring out the worst of all your flaws.
So sorry, but…figure it out like all the rest of us peeps that do our best to behave with integrity.

@GabrielsLamb
Agreed 100%, we should always be looking within for those little grains of truth, however, recognizing we may lie to ourselves or practice some small measure of self hypocrisy, such as rationalizing that extra slice of cheesecake is not even close to measuring the hypocrisy of the T-ball coach that molests his little players. As always, it is a matter of degree.

It’s not about potential it is about the actual acts.

Could I bite the nose of a rapist…you bet I could, and would, will I wake up tomorrow and go on a killing spree, highly unlikely. haha

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@ Perfectly well understood and agreed! But I believe what is far worse than just a molestor… are those who in doing so, get off easily because they are beautiful, popular or famous.

*See Deborah Lefay, Michael Jackson, and every romace era poet that almost ever lived.

That is my problem with “Tolerance” with a personal agenda… It is NOT tolerance, and operates as well as a countered condition in accusation as well.

You can make, as well as break a human being by mere assumption and popular belief… and sometimes, it is an intentional obscuring of the facts either way that has not much more to do with truth or lies as end results in demonstration.

We are ALL therefore hypocritical… I prefer those who in the very least have some sort of awareness of that as the fact it is.

Jellie's avatar

Boring and safe answers, guys. None of us tolerate any of the above.
I’ll try shaking things up and say I am not tolerant of people lacking at least an average intelligence. I work with some people who try hard at their jobs but they can only do so much. I do know it’s not in their control and I am not claiming to be Einstein but it tests my patience. I’m not intolerant of it in that I am rude to them or anything but I can’t stand it.
Whether or not it is acceptable… different people will feel differently.

Jellie's avatar

No tolerance for a Manchester United supporter. Acceptable as fuck.

Coloma's avatar

@Jellie

How is being intolerant of abuse & hypocrisy “boring”?

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Bigotry
Dubstep
Public Masturbation
Ska
The list goes on….

Blackberry's avatar

@Michael_Huntington Haha! I find it acceptable to not tolerate most of your answer.

Coloma's avatar

Haha, this makes me think of a joke I invented years ago while traveling. “Scenic masturbation point”. lolol

Blackberry's avatar

Nothing sounds better than appreciating nature while appreciating a little self deprecation pleasure.

ratboy's avatar

Lactose.

Pandora's avatar

Luke warm food at a resturant.
Noisy neighbors after 10 pm on a weekday.
Lazy fellow employees who slack off and leave you doing most of the work.

satunnainen_narttu's avatar

Anyone who is pretentious.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@wundayatta Well, I read your question very carefully, and I tried to go for the “grey areas” like you said, avoiding murderers, rapists, racists, etc.

So I chose to answer “stupid teenagers and children who act like brats and misfits in public”, because a lot of seemingly sane adults tend to defend them and use the reasoning that “we were kids once, so I can understand why they’re like that.” In other words, I don’t tolerate what a lot of people see as acceptable.

When I use the word “stupid”, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Using vulgar language in public, like when adolescents loosely shout the “f-word” in front of families with young children on buses, vandalizing public property, purposely making a mess in stores and food courts at the mall, and shouting in public and goofing around to attract attention to themselves.

Jellie's avatar

@Coloma intolerance of them isn’t “boring” itself. What I was saying was that everyone is intolerant of, e.g., abuse and hypocrisy and so while it’s a perfectly reasonable answer, it’s very obvious. @wundayatta asked us to think outside the box on this one, in that respect the answer was very safe.

Coloma's avatar

@Jellie

I understand what you’re saying.

Vanilla intolerance vs. out of the box intolerance. haha

wundayatta's avatar

@Pandora How do your express your intolerance of the things on your list?

linguaphile's avatar

Someone that goes after my friends with 10 inch knife, scissors, threatens to cut/stab herself, beats up my son’s girlfriend, then runs through the neighbor screaming at 4 am straight into a cop car. Unfortunately, the cops only took her to the hospital, not jail.

Before you guys say, “Of course, that’s intolerable,” it actually happened, AND I’m being expected by some people in my community to accept a simple “sorry” from this nutcase.

Double intolerable—the batshit behavior, and the expectation to “kiss and make up.”

Blackberry's avatar

I was just reminded from a new thread: child abuse. Some people think it’s perfectly acceptable to beat your child because they think it’s good for them. And I love how they always say “My parents beat me and look how I turned out!” as if they actually turned out great. We shouldn’t tolerate it.

Coloma's avatar

@linguaphile

Wow! Yeah, why don’t you kiss the rattlesnake, after all, it can’t help itself. lol

linguaphile's avatar

@Coloma No kidding. I’m still fuming from that one—and still baffled it even happened! But love your statement!! :D

Paradox1's avatar

Should we tolerate someone who has tendencies of mild or humorous racism, perhaps because they were raised around people who were exhibited racist thoughts/actions?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

After being reminded of something, due to a different question, I’d like to add that I do not and will never tolerate “pageant moms” who do such awful things to make little girls look sexy.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Oh deffinately… Spray tanning a 3 year old? Mothers like that *And I use the term loosely, should be hung up by their toes and spray PAINTED!

Why didn’t anyone learn anything at all from Jon Benet Ramsey?

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