Social Question

jamia's avatar

(NSFW) How do I make my fiance feel better after he couldn't get it up?

Asked by jamia (60points) December 9th, 2011

Okay, well, I’m 22, and my fiance Mikey, is 26, and we just got engaged a couple of weeks ago. Mikey is the most important thing in my life, and I love him so much. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most gentle and understanding person I’ve ever met, so of course, I’m extremely excited to marry him. :) Well I moved in with Mikey about a year and a half ago, as well. I don’t want to go too in-depth here, but normally, Mikey and I have a great sex life. He was my first and will be my only, and he only had sex a couple of times years ago with an ex girlfriend. He’s wonderful and sexy and he’s always so attentive to me; he never has a selfish moment and he’s never disappointed me in any way.

Well, Wednesday night, around 6 pm, I started getting really… in the mood. Mikey had to work late, and he came home around 7. I wanted him so badly at that point, that I practically pounced on him as he came through the door. We started making out, and I could tell he was into it. We went into the bedroom and continued everything, but he couldn’t get it up. This has never happened to him, ever, and we tried for quite a while, but still nothing. I could tell he was embarrassed the whole time, and kept apologizing. I told him it was fine, and I went to give him a kiss, but he sort of pulled away and just kept muttering things to himself like “I don’t understand why this happened.” He’s been very quiet since then, and I keep asking him if he’s alright, and he just says “I’m fine, baby, don’t worry.” He’s been shy about anything to do with intimacy since then, too, and he seems really embarrassed every time I ask him if he’s okay. What’s going on? How can i make him feel better? I don’t care that he had a problem one time getting it up, I just want him to stop feeling embarrassed about it. Advice?

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13 Answers

FutureMemory's avatar

Is he experiencing anything in his life that is particularly stressful?

jamia's avatar

@FutureMemory Not that I can think of. I mean, he has a stressful job, but he’s had the same job for quite a while now, and it’s never been a problem in this department.

CWOTUS's avatar

Oh, come on. Really? You see no cause-and-effect from your earlier post about Mikey and your interrupted passion and his subsequent embarrassment? Are you just trolling, or are you guys really that self-unaware?

blueiiznh's avatar

What ^^^^^ said.

jamia's avatar

@CWOTUS Okay, alright, you have a point there. I just didn’t think that it would be that much of a concern for him this far in advance…?

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
Response moderated
zensky's avatar

No need to. It wouldn’t help. Guys do not like to discuss shit.

Let it go. Next time shake your ass a little more.

Welcome to fluther, troll. Just kidding.

marinelife's avatar

Stop bringing it up. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.

Wait until the next time that you two make love (make sure Mikey is well rested), and then express how happy you are with your sex life with him afterward.

gailcalled's avatar

Maybe he’s still recovering from all your (odd) family who barged into your bedroom during your vacation last summer without knocking?

Stop calling him MIkey? Mike or Michael?

( How’s the novel coming?)

Scooby's avatar

Tell him, he’s not the first :-/

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I think he’s stressed out by what happened during your family gathering. Also, until you tell your family you two have already been engaged for some weeks (don’t know why you’d keep it secret) I’m sure he’s additionally stressed.

Stop asking if he’s feeling all right.

Uberwench's avatar

You need to do something low pressure. Hand jobs, blow jobs, whatever. Anything that doesn’t require him to perform. He can go down on you, too, but no sex. Make it a game, as if you’re seeing how long he can resist fucking you. Then the only way he can “lose” is by getting an erection so strong he can’t ignore it. Problem solved.

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