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john65pennington's avatar

What would you do, if your spouse(gf/bf)won $100,000 dollars and never told you?

Asked by john65pennington (29057 points ) January 22nd, 2012

Question: what would you do, if your spouse(gf/bf) won $100,000 dollars and never told you?

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25 Answers

marinelife's avatar

It would depend on if it was my spouse or my boyfriend. If it was my spouse, i would be irate, because I would be entitled to ½ the money.

If it was my boyfriend, that would be up to him whether he told me or not.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Feel hurt that they feel they couldn’t tell me about the winfall.

Coloma's avatar

Boyfriend, depending on how involved we were, not my biz.
Spouse, I would consider it to be a premeditated with holding and that, in turn, would be a trust issue I would most likely deem a deal breaker.

ragingloli's avatar

I would praise her/him.

Rules of Acquisition:
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. (or to someone else)
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
10. Greed is eternal.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
111. Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them. (variation: Exploitation begins at home)
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Coloma's avatar

@marinelife

Haha…caught it and edited it.

john65pennington's avatar

Would this be grounds for a divorce?

marinelife's avatar

It would break my trust. It might be.

mazingerz88's avatar

It really all depends…if this spouse was just plain greedy and spent it all for himself, then yes, it might cause a break-up. If the spouse knew his or her partner would squander the money then that gives him some right to hide it.

Coloma's avatar

@mazingerz88

Yes, but, ones idea of “squandering” might not be anothers. Perception is everything.
I choose to spend a nice chunk of my savings a few years ago and took 2 years off from working to enjoy myself. I have one other friend that had done the same thing and other friends that thought I was nuts.
I’m one that believes money is meant to be spent, not neurotically hoarded. ;-)

Keep_on_running's avatar

I would think there is something wrong with the relationship if he has to hide something like that, if he didn’t have a good reason why, then I would see it as a pretty strong reason to break up. If you were married, well that would be harder.

Blackberry's avatar

Depends on how long we were together. I would also be upset if they had expected me to share everything with them.

EverRose11's avatar

As my boyfriend, I would merely seduce him into submission thus making him want to give me some of his loot as a gift. HAhahahah :-) . However If it was my husband I would first be hurt and than depending on his reaction to the news that I had discovered his lil secret… That would make all the difference as to what my next move would be….

bkcunningham's avatar

Part of my reaction would depend on what he did with the money.

rebbel's avatar

If she never told me, i wouldn’t know it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Upon discovery, I’d be hurt, my trust would be broken and I’d become suspicious how much of our relationship was fiction.

Would I leave? That would depend on his answers of why and what he did with the money. I’m gambling anyone who would do this doesn’t respect, trust or love their spouse.

If it’s a bf, it’s their money and I don’t need to have a say unless we’re living together, splitting expenses and for some reason he’s been having me pay the greater amount under the guise of not making enough money. I’d leave if that was the case.

chyna's avatar

A woman I worked with received about 50,000 and kept it from her husband as “security money” in case they ever divorced. As far as I know, she never told him. I wouldn’t like it if I found out my husband had that kind of a secret and would wonder what other secrets he had and what he was planning on doing with the money. Because I know of a similar situation, I would suspect he was planning on leaving.
I would probably end up leaving him because my trust would be broken and once it is broken, I can never fully trust again.
If it was just a boyfriend I wouldn’t think it was any of my business.

john65pennington's avatar

If new articles suddenly began arriving in your house and the bank account(s)showed the same balances, would this make you suspicious and what would you do?

bkcunningham's avatar

What type of new articles, @john65pennington? Big ticket items?

I’m in charge of the banking, budget and books in our family. My husband had some major issues in a previous relationship with his ex stealing money from him to help supply her daughter’s drug habit. It would be a gigantic deal in our relationshipto lie or lie by omission about anything; to either of us. We communicate with each other about purchases, regardless how big or how small.

chyna's avatar

My ex husband could not keep a secret if his life depended on it. I would’ve known immediately.

YARNLADY's avatar

I can’t answer in terms of myself, because it could never happen. However, in California and several other states, everything is community property, so keeping it a secret would be against the law.

Any relationship where one partner would lie to the other is already in big trouble, no matter what the lie is about.

bkcunningham's avatar

Well, @YARNLADY, there may be circumstances where it would be justified. If the spouse being lied to was a complusive gambler, for instance. Or if the spouse hiding the windfall is planning on leaving an unsafe or abusive relationship. Sometimes things aren’t always so black and white. Who knows what goes on inside other people’s heads that make them do what they do. You’ll never know until you ask her.

wundayatta's avatar

That would be a bit weird, but I’m not sure I would read bad intent into it. Depends what she had to say about it. What can I say? Money is not the most significant thing about us.

Leanne1986's avatar

I actually know someone who has told me that if he came into a lot of money he would only tell two people. Neither are his wife!

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