Do you feel a need to do something special?
If so, what would fill that bill, and why do you think you feel this need?
For the longest time, I thought I needed to write a great novel, or do something political that would go a long way towards bringing about world peace, or my life would be a failure. I think I felt this way because my parents never seemed to find anything that I did satisfactory. It was the only thing I could imagine that might get their attention.
But I have been freed from this, for the moment. I no longer feel like I have to do anything in order to deserve to be alive. I no longer feel that deserving is an issue that warrants any attention. It’s much nicer this way. I don’t know how long it will last.