Social Question

yankeetooter's avatar

Ever fall for someone head over heels, and then find out they "play for the other team" (Seinfeld reference)?

Asked by yankeetooter (8498 points ) June 18th, 2012

I don’t know if he ever figured out I had a crush on him, but if he did, he must think I’m an idiot… : (

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18 Answers

15acrabm's avatar

No never, but that seems like it would seriously suck.

yankeetooter's avatar

It does, believe me. not that I had any real hope of him being attracted to me. : (

athenasgriffin's avatar

Not head over heels, but in high school I did really like this guy who later announced on Facebook he liked men. His hair was PERFECT! Always. I really admired that. I find it amusing now, and so does he. If you can make a huge joke out of it, then pretty much anything is bearable.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Oh yeah. I suspected but being thorough (stubborn) I wanted to make sure.

mrrich724's avatar

To me, head-over-heels implies something beyond attraction/ infatuation. How do you get to the head-over-heels part without finding out they play for the other team?! LOL

marinelife's avatar

Yes, it happened to me when I was younger.

wundayatta's avatar

Hard to say. Perhaps that was what was happening, or perhaps I had an impact on them. Whatever, five women I dated later became lesbians. I was lovers with only one of them. And that was the hottest sex I ever had. I mean, breaking furniture, falling off the bed hot. But I knew she played for the other team before hand. She kind of wanted to get at my girlfriend, and it seemed that she had to go through me to get at her.

But if you wanted to argue that I make the case for lesbianism, I’d have to say you’d have a pretty darn good argument. ;-)

Kardamom's avatar

I dated a guy that I’d had a crush on for a few months, then he pursued me and we started dating. His friends, who I knew, and my own friends, thought we’d be a good match. I was thrilled. Not so much when I found out that he was bi-sexual and was most likely not going to give up guys. Then he threw in this little tidbit, that he had slept with around 50 women (he was only 25 at the time). I did not become # 51.

It was a bummer because I really liked him, but he just wasn’t ready/able to be in a monagamous relationship with anyone. For me, that was extremely important. He hooked up with someone new almost immediately.

I also had crushes on 2 guys when I was quite a bit younger, who were gay. This was a little bit before the time that most people were openly gay, so it wasn’t so clear. Plus they were both super nice and they were good friends. One I went to school with and one I worked with. When I found out that they were gay, it was disapointing, but certain things seemed to make more sense when I found out. LOL.

I think I have a tendency to be attracted to gay men (because they’re so dang cute!), or men who are a little more on the feminine side (neat and clean, not loud, not into sports, a little nerdy, not into partying) but at least now, people are more likely to be openly gay so it’s a little easier to figure out what team they’re playing for, before you get too invested emotionally.

I have a number of gay male friends (only, no intentions of romance or switching up sides). I also have pretty good gaydar.

yankeetooter's avatar

@mrrich724…I tend to fall way too easily for people. And I can’t help it…I am still attracted to this guy.

bookish1's avatar

Yes, frequently. I tend to fall for gentle bookish straight guys and androgynous/masculine lesbians, haha.

Compounding this tendency is the fact that I am trans and bisexual, which means the vast majority of gay guys and straight women are not going to want to be with me.

yankeetooter's avatar

It’s just that every time I meet someone really special, it turns out that there is some reason it can’t work out.

Mariah's avatar

He wouldn’t think you are an idiot, @yankeetooter. It’s not like it was written across his face. It happens.

This hasn’t happened to me, but I did have sort of the opposite happen to me. I was attracted to someone but I suspected he might be gay, and so I didn’t pursue him. Turns out he wasn’t. Oops!

yankeetooter's avatar

Thanks, @Mariah. I hope you’re right…

bookish1's avatar

@yankeetooter : I agree with @Mariah. He most likely will be understanding… Think of how often that must happen to gay people… There are so many more straight people out there to fall in love with! :-p

yankeetooter's avatar

Thanks, @bookish1. I just don’t want there to be any awkwardness between me and him. I hold him in the highest regard, and would still hope to be his friend…

Yetanotheruser's avatar

I fell for a woman I met in college, only to find out that she liked woo.en. We became friends, though, and spent many an hour together “girl-watching”!

chyna's avatar

@yankeetooter Is this the same guy you liked last year, your teacher? How did you find out he is gay? Could your information be incorrect?

yankeetooter's avatar

No…it’s not the same guy. And I’d rather not say how I found out…

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