General Question

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

Approve this email before I send to a coworker? Thanks?

Asked by LeavesNoTrace (2534 points ) June 19th, 2012

My tired eyes may not have the best judgment…

To give some background this is being sent from one 23 year old to another with a fairly friendly relationship. Be honest with feedback but not scathing. Thanks!

Hi *****,

I received your email on my ***** at about 11pm but now I can’t seem find it. Clumsy fingers I suppose…Your attentiveness to my growth at *** is helpful and I thank you for helping me adjust to my responsibilities.

Of course, you can always tell me if a task isn’t up to par. I’m not as sensitive as I may seem and I appreciate honest feedback.

You also don’t necessarily need to tell me “good job” every time I follow through with something successfully—it’s my job to do things right, and if I tell you that I completed a task it’s not to elicit praise but to update you.

Moving forward, I’ll be more communicative about ****** needs and consult with ***** and ******** about what they need (as well as the rest of the team) before I consider the task complete. Tomorrow I’ll order what you detailed in your message.

Email is admittedly not my favorite means of communication but it’s a necessary evil at this hour. If you would like to chat about this or anything, you can also approach me whenever is convenient for you. I’m rarely too busy for that. :)

Thank you,
**

Also,
Let me know if you got to the ****** *******. It’s hot on my lists of to-dos tomorrow right ahead of ******** and ******** **********. Thanks!

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7 Answers

raspberryjenn's avatar

I think it sounds quite professional! I don’t know the background or the situation, but it sounds just as you described it…a fairly friendly e-mail from one person to another. I didn’t see any major grammatical mistakes. :-)

bookish1's avatar

It sounds professional and also friendly.
My only concern is with the part where you said “You also don’t necessarily need to tell me ‘good job’ every time….”
Unless this REALLY bothers you or gets in the way of your work, I’m not sure why you need to include that. It might be met with some resentment. Why refuse positive feedback?

janbb's avatar

I would also take out “I’m not as sensitive as I may seem”; that seems a little inappropriately personal information to include. You might want to take out the sentence about e-mail as well. A little more brevity would not be bad.

marinelife's avatar

Here are my suggested edits:

Hi *****,

I received your email on my ***** at about 11pm but now I can’t seem find it. Clumsy fingers I suppose…Your attentiveness to my growth at *** is helpful and I thank you for helping me adjust to my responsibilities.

Of course, you can always tell me if a task isn’t up to par. I appreciate honest feedback.

Moving forward, I’ll be more communicative about ****** needs and consult with ***** and ******** about what they need (as well as the rest of the team) before I consider the task complete. Tomorrow I’ll order what you detailed in your message.

Email is admittedly not my favorite means of communication. If you would like to chat about this or anything, you can also approach me whenever is convenient for you.

Thank you,
**

Also,
Let me know if you got to the ****** *******. It’s hot on my lists of to-dos tomorrow right ahead of ******** and ******** **********. Thanks!

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Avoid contractions and abbreviations in business letters, even friendly ones.

wundayatta's avatar

Why do you think this is important enough to ask other people to edit it? It seems pretty straight forward and low key. Not about any big problem or anything. So what am I missing?

Yeahright's avatar

…at about 11pm but now I can’t seem find it.

…I can’t seem to find it.

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