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Julietxx3's avatar

Am I depressed?

Asked by Julietxx3 (712 points ) August 31st, 2012

I was with this guy for a few months and it wasn’t anything serious until recently. In July I went on a trip to Europe without him for a month. The week I got back I found out that he cheated on me while I was away (I was with him when I found out, and no, he did not tell me himself). I broke up with him immediately and honestly felt fine, I was actually shocked that I wasn’t affected by it at all. A few hours later that same day I felt a little sad but I forgot about it right away. I didn’t think about for a week or two but now it’s all I can think about and I’ve been home alone a lot and I just feel sad and mad all the time and can’t stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try. I can’t help but blame myself every once in a while, but I know I shouldn’t do that. Is it normal that its been over a month later and it still feels like we JUST broke up?

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9 Answers

imgr8's avatar

It sounds like you ignored the pain you should have been feeling at the time in favor of being strong, but you can only put something off for so long eventually you will have to deal with it. Let yourself be sad for a little bit, mourn the relationship and if it doesn’t get better, see a doctor.

Tachys's avatar

You are right to feel mad and sad. You got hurt. Try not to let your mind race. Recognize the pattern of this cycle you are in and when it starts, try to stop it. If it does not get better, talk to a counselor or doctor.

_Whitetigress's avatar

The part where you dumped him and felt fine you felt strong, and you were empowered but angry. Being angry was your way of defending yourself, it’s one way we psyche ourselves up right before the harsh reality sets in. Then you realized the relationship was over and you were in disbelief, so you became sad. You’ll probably flow back and forth between being angry and sad for a while. Being angry isn’t wrong, it is yourself telling yourself that what he did to you was wrong and you don’t deserve this. Your sad emotions are the ones that feel let down. Not to worry though, there are plenty of people in this world and all have good intentions or bad it’s just the luck of the draw. He’s a basketball, bounce him, shoot him, go up for the rebound, and pass him on to the next player. Time to move on!

Julietxx3's avatar

@_Whitetigress wow that really actually helped explain a lot, thank you so much:) @imgr8 and @Tachys Thanks to you too I really appreciate your responses!

_Whitetigress's avatar

@Julietxx3 Oh just a little basic psychology and communications courses knowledge :D

bookish1's avatar

Rather than trying to “stop the cycle,” @Julietxx3, I would recommend acknowledging your feelings, telling yourself that they are valid, and reminding yourself that you won’t feel like this forever.

creative1's avatar

You still need to go through the stages of grief for the relationship that was lost, you may have just had a delayed reaction to the whole situation.

whitenoise's avatar

You are not depressed per se, but likely feeling depresses.
It seems as if you are going through the classical stages of grief that we all go through when we are faced with losing something dear to us.

Denial – Anger – (false) Hope – Despair – Acceptance

During the stage of despair, we begin to understand the certainty of our loss. Acceptance will follow, will provide peace and possibly make you even stronger than you were.

wundayatta's avatar

This does not sound like depression as much as it sounds like a breakup. Depending on how long you were in love with this person, your feelings about the breakup will be longer. I found they lasted about half as long as the relationship.

You seem like you will get over the breakup after a while and that your feelings are related to the breakup, not to any underlying situation.

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