Is this PMS?
I don’t know what is up with me lately, but it is awful. I am starting to worry that I’m bipolar. Anyhow here’s the deal. My mood has been up and down this week like never before. Monday night, after a semi bad day, ended with hours of crying and hating myself, not being able to sleep, and not being able to control my negative emotions that were negative for a reason i couldn’t even figure out! Finally at 2:30 AM after flailing around in bed for 4 hours I took an antidepressant, felt better, showered, and fell asleep in a fine mood.
I felt fine the next day. Today, however, was another case of the same. A little stupid thing will trigger my mood, like my boyfriend being late for everything every day. Yes, it’s not a big deal, but I was in such a good mood today and then it just completely crashed. I came home from work excited to get a shower and get shit done before I saw him, and now I am laying here trying not to cry, and again, I’m not sure why. I feel sad and helpless and like a waste.
Other important factors: I’ve never had severe PMS before and the only reason I think it might be PMS related is because my period is due tomorrow. If it’s not that, then I guess I’m just crazy. This just worries me because with these moods I can barely control them and I turn into a total bitch and even though I try to get out of them, I really can’t. It’s physical as much as it is mental and emotional. I’ve also never been a sad person too, which I think is important to take into accountant. I am always pleasant, and if I’m not, it’s not severe like this. I never hated my parents as a teenager, I was never depressed, nothing bad at all. I JUST DONT GET IT, SOMEONE HELP ME BEFORE I JUMP OUT THE WINDOW ALSDJKFASKDFJSDF.
anyhow if its not PMS, any ideas what the hell is wrong with me? AND WHEN IT WILL STOP?
edit: i should add that i find myself getting mad at my boyfriend for everything he does even though it is just little shit. its stuff that i wouldnt normally get mad over EVER, but i cant even control that i do now. i feel like i am ruining the relationship, even though he says he understands, i dont know how the hell he can tolerate me because i cant tolerate myself
another edit since i guess i should have specified: i dont take anti depressants. i never have. i have never needed to. it was one of my boyfriends. FYI.
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