How do you know if it is love or obsession?

”Obsession is…”

often accompanied by a restraining order.

First thought: love considers the other person, obsession is all about yourself.

@cookieman Well not always, what if you lived with the person you know?

^^^ LOL @CookieMan

Yes, “love” can involve all of the above, but, if you find yourself driving by their house if they haven’t called you in the last 2 hours, think about snooping on their cell phone, can’t function in your everyday life if things are not perfect with the relationship, have a grinding, all consuming need to know their every move and contemplate slashing their tires if you break up, well…..

I’d say that, for most people, there is no distinct line between love and obsession because one has it’s source in the other. And also, both are differently experienced by and acted on by every individual. I think that most often obsession is what is there at the beginning of relationships, when you seem infatuated by each other and out of this obsession, love is built and because you fear to lose this love, you begin to obsess. Which might just lead to losing your loved one much sooner.

Are you thinking about them to the exclusion of everything else? Obsession.
Are you imagining them cheating or otherwise engaging in unacceptable behavior? Obsesion.
Are you following them around, reading their mail or email, oe snooping through their things? Obsession.

Are your feelings focused on their well-being and happiness (Love) or yours (Obsession).

“One baby to another said I’m lucky to have met you / I don’t care what you think unless it is about me / It is now my duty to completely drain you…”

Nirvana’s song Drain You has long been a cautionary to me about what obsession looks/feels like, as opposed to real love.

@Shippy: Well, I said “often”, not “always”.

I just instinctually see “obsession” as the unhealthy side of the same coin as “love”.

Obsession is the inability to think of anything but the other person. There’s no room for individuality. It leads to extreme jealousy and isn’t healthy or constructive. Love allows space for the other person to do things that don’t necessarily include the other person: work, hobbies, activities that may not include the other person. I think obsession happens most often to people who are immature and haven’t found themselves yet.

@Sunny2 I have to agree with you.

@cookieman I don’t think love and obsession share the same currency at all, I’m more in tune with @flutherother, love is all about the other while obsession is all about me me me me……