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seekingwolf's avatar

Anniversary day is day before V-day. What do I do?

Asked by seekingwolf (9498 points ) January 15th, 2013

This is sort of a stupid question but I’m actually wondering about it so I’ll just put it in social.

My live-in boyfriend and I will be celebrating 2 years together. We got together the day before Valentine’s Day 2 years ago. No,this was not Valentine motivated (“I don’t have a Valentine yet, be mine?”) lol. We actually decided around New Years that being together would be “cool” but I had to think about it because he was my best friend and I’m indecisive about these matters. Also because the way we got together was rather unorthodox since it involved impromptu 69, aged brandy, and some awkward walk-ins with my dad. Oh god… Moving on.

I’ve always been really confused on how to celebrate this. Do I go out the day of? Or is it just better to wait until the actual holiday? When are the prices better? Valentine’s Day is sort of weird for me. Sometimes I think it’s cool. Other times I think it’s hokey and I can’t believe my own personal romantic day had to fall so darn close to this Hallmark one.

Any ideas?

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21 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Whatever feels right to you is the right thing to do; you’re not obligated to celebrate in any particular way.

If I were in your place, though, I would treat the anniversary as the special date it is—the day you made special—and do it up with all the festivity you want: dinner, cards, champagne, whatever.

And then I would let Valentine’s Day be a modest afterthought, with an exchange of sweetly sentimental cards (or funny, or whatever is your style) but no big deal otherwise.

You can create your own customs and traditions for your own memorable date and not have to worry about what anybody else is doing.

If your relationship lasts, February 13th will always be yours. And—sorry, but if it doesn’t (as we know some don’t), you can enjoy future Valentine’s Days with someone else without calling up the ghost of your old romance.

seekingwolf's avatar

I think that’s a good idea. I like the idea of not soiling Valentine’s Day if we broke up. I believe we have a solid shot at making it but you’re right, there is always a chance that we won’t.

In the past, I’ve always gone out with past SOs on Valentine’s Day. I guess that is what is throwing me off. Realistically, I can’t do both

I think maybe ill concentrate on the anniversary date itself and put less emphasis on the V-Day.

Bellatrix's avatar

I couldn’t agree more with @Jeruba. Your anniversary is your anniversary. I would therefore focus on that and making that day special and personally, I would ignore Valentine’s Day or just mark it with a card. I really do think Valentine’s Day is a commercial event. You don’t even need to mark Valentine’s Day at all.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I would agree with celebrating your anniversary. Valentines day is a day for us guys to do something nice for the ladies. But if he does something really nice for you, remember to celebrate steak and bj day as thanks :P

augustlan's avatar

I’m in agreement with the others, and think your real celebration should be on the anniversary. I recommend some aged brandy and 69, sans dad! ;)

zenvelo's avatar

Celebrate both, one is your anniversary, the other is VD. Nothing wrong with getting laid two days in a row.

And how about talking to him about how to make both days special? Valentines Day is one day when expectations need to be discussed before hand to minimize disappointment.

seekingwolf's avatar

See, thing is, I usually go out to eat (where, doesn’t matter) and drink and have extra special sex that includes many activities, ha. That is how I celebrate both Valentine’s (in the past) as well as my anniversary. My boyfriend doesn’t really get me things like flowers unless I’m ill.

So it will basically be the same thing 2 days in a row if I celebrate both.

And yes, I do observe steak/bj day even though I’ve never gotten anything for V day, lol.

marinelife's avatar

You can combine it or not as you choose. You can pick the day to celebrate (if it does not fall on a weekend). You could celebrate your anniversary instead of Valentine’s Day.

Pachy's avatar

Be sure you’re celebrating it because you really want to, not just because you feel obligated. It’s a great date for doing something nice, but not just because it’s a date on a calendar. Capish?

WestRiverrat's avatar

Put the celebration off until the 15th and make it a weekend to remember.

bossob's avatar

I agree with you that VD is just a contrived Hallmark event to sell products. Some people participate with enthusiasm; some don’t.

People with birthdays around major holidays face the same problem. I tell my wife (born 7/4) that the whole country is celebrating her birthday, but she doesn’t buy it! My son, born a couple days before Christmas, feels screwed. We’ve tried celebrating his special day at other times of the year, but that hasn’t worked out too well.

Steak/BJ days are supposed to be special; having them back-to-back makes them less so. You might do some experimenting with celebration dates.

Cupcake's avatar

You pick a celebration for one, he picks a celebration for the other. You both enjoy!

Bellatrix's avatar

I was trying to figure out what the heck happens on the 7 April. Now I get it!

bossob's avatar

Sorry about that! Sometimes, even when I say my wife’s birthday is July 4, it doesn’t register for some folks.

Bellatrix's avatar

It’s cool @bossob. Just one of those little differences. It’s also fairly early here and my brain isn’t fully in gear.

dabbler's avatar

Your anniversary is way more important than St. Hallmark’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is for folks who wish they had an anniversary.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
dabbler's avatar

Oh well it’s harmless to celebrate Valentine’s Day and it can be really sweet.
And I think a combination with your birthday is an especially good reason for a party.

The part I don’t like is a sense of obligation many feel to make a particular day more dear than the rest of them, even when you’re hopelessly devoted to each other every moment any way. Or there’s some other reason it’s just not happenin’ like that just now.

seekingwolf's avatar

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I think I am just going to forgo V-Day entirely and just celebrate the anniversary day by itself. I can afford to go out both nights but I don’t really want to. My boyfriend works all weekdays and it’s always day hours, while I work nights hours and I can do up my schedule however I like.

I took off the anniversary day/night just for us though. :) I will be working V-Day night.

bossob's avatar

It always feels great to make a decision after mulling it over for awhile. I’m sure it will work out just fine for you. And if you end up feeling like you missed out on VD, you can always have your very own celebration another time.

I quit celebrating VD after I made the ‘mistake’ of sending flowers to our house, rather than to my wife’s office where her ‘friends’ could see them. I caught some hell for that one! Fortunately, her name has been EX for a long time!

seekingwolf's avatar

LOL bossob, poor you. That is ridiculous that she would get mad! My boyfriend rarely gets me flowers but when he does, he always gives them to me at home. :) People need to learn to be grateful and happy when their loved ones do nice things for them!

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