How do I sell a porn screenplay?

wait wait wait….. porn has a screenplay??!? you mean like people actually put time into writing the dialog for that horrible acting they do prior to fucking?

I think “time” would be giving the effort more credit than it deserves, but if there’s money in it, I’ll write it.

maybe you should cut your teeth on some of those “short erotic tails” in the mags. I mean you would cut out the barrier of someone having to spend the hundreds of dollars funding the film.

been there, done that, ebenezer—I’m looking for new territory. So far I’ve published category romance, erotica novels and shorts, two nonfiction titles, a mystery novel, greeting card captions, bumper sticker slogans, and three children’s chapter books. I’m wanting a fun potboiler project—and a quickie porn script certainly seems like it would fit the bill. What can I say? Variety is the spice of my writing life.

I know some people in the business. Sigh. If you are sure you want to do this, PM me and I will get you some contacts.

merc- I think you are beyond my help…

I wrote a porn screenplay. What do you think of the title?
It’s called Stuff That Never Happens to You.

Wow. Believe it or not, that’s my working title. Great minds think alike, AstroChuck.

Put real dialogue in it.
“Somebody order a pizza?” gets old. I see you write erotica; try scripting the character’s pillow talk. “Eff me, Eff me!” was sexy when I was 18, not so much now.
Porn is about men, men love to be admired descriptively; we like to be told where you want us and why. Mostly why.
Also, coquettes are always sexy. Titillation is the ultimate aphrodesiac.

Perhaps I’ve said too much.