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Khajuria9's avatar

How would you react if you confessed in front of a guy who rejected your proposal?

Asked by Khajuria9 (1519 points ) March 23rd, 2014

I mean, would you stop speaking altogether or give it a break of sometime…..
Actually, there’s a guy I have been knowing since the past 6 years and I recently expressed my love toward him that he rejected. But otherwise, he had been a good friend. We used to have deeper talks on philosophy and other mystic things that the two of us loved. Other than that, he was also my mom’s student in high school, so he shares a good relation with my mom.
What according to you should I do ??? Should I become completely silent and wait for him to initiate any conversation or send him a light and pleasant e-mail saying hello to start speaking?? Or maybe, sending him a mail saying sorry as to what I had said. Or else, explaining him that he has and will always remain in my heart and that I am strong enough to live without him but I would like to stay good friends forever.
Do you think a guy would try to initiate talking after this episode?

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7 Answers

whitenoise's avatar

For my understanding… Are you a boy, or a girl?

whitenoise's avatar

If you are a girl, and he’s a boy and there are no awkward identity issues that you invoked because of your confesion…

Tell him that you value him as a friend and would like to continue being friends, while you accept his rejection. He may not believe the latter, though and require aome cooling down.

Time will tell…

btw I would give the same answer if you’re a boy, however if he’s not gay, then you may have threatened his sexual identity, making things more complex.

GloPro's avatar

Ah. I am sorry you were rejected. I’ve been wondering how that turned out for you.

Do not, under any circumstance, explain that he will always remain in your heart. You tend to speak in a very flowery and poetic way, which is great, but in this case it will drive your friend further away and make him uncomfortable.

Also do not apologize for your feelings. It isn’t necessary. They are valid, but it takes two to tango, and he’d rather be friends. You could have worse problems than liking someone more than they like you. You both still like each other, which is the base of a friendship.

I would just be honest that you need to take some time to process how he feels and that you want to remain good friends. Tell him you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, so you would like a little time to figure it all out and apologize if you seem awkward for a bit. Then give yourself space.

When you’ve actually gotten a little distance from this, don’t feel awkward beginning to text him things that make you think of him. Ask him out for coffee or whatever you used to do as pals once you have a small list of things you can comfortably enjoy talking about with him. Hopefully from there the friendship will get back on track.

It’s happened to all of us. Don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater. Your friendship can be saved. Goo luck!

gailcalled's avatar

Didn’t you ask fluther several times whether you should tell the guy how you felt, even though everyone advised you not to? I have a memory even though I can no longer find the questions. I do recall that he had been your mom’s student.

Did you pull those questions?

I would do nothing for a time and see 1) how you are feeling and 2) whether he makes any contact. It is really hard to know how he is feeling. Is there any chance you will bump into him by accident? These embarrassing episodes are always best resolved in person where you can read the other person’s expressiona and body language.

Sending off any email or text right now I think would be a huge mistake. Let it alone and find other things to do and think about.

I understand how painful this was. Most of us at your age have hsd similar experiences. Thinking back on some of mine, both as the perpetrator and the recipient, I still cringe.

Goi for a run or play some sport. Exhausting yourself physically is a good distraction.

marinelife's avatar

You need to feel your way carefully toward a new balance in your relationship. I don’t see any harm in telling him that you want to remain friends (don’t bring up the love thing again) and you hope that he does too. Then just wait for him to respond.

the_overthinker's avatar

In your case, I think you should initiate a conversation. I’d assume he doesn’t want to lead you on or give you any hope that he has changed his mind, so it is best you initiate. You could thank him for not leading you on and being upfront about it. You can address the topic where you professed your feelings for him, and briefly say that it should not interfere with your friendship, and then continue on as before.

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