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RedDeerGuy1's avatar

What is the biggest mistake that you weaseled yourself out of?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (24473points) June 22nd, 2017

Or was forgiven? Or got away with? Or bullet dodged?

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8 Answers

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

DUI, March 3rd, 1974.

It was my 21st birthday party. Huge BBQ, beer, weed, and I suspect some were doing acid. I was living in a farmhouse on a bit of land surrounded by orange groves. The party last from Saturday morning to Sunday night. By that time, I was sipping bourbon from a literstein. Then, about 2am Monday morning, I decided that I was going to graciously give the stragglers a ride home.

I dispersed them through three towns, then on my way back home, the sky lit up with red and blue flashes. Cops. I floored it. They chased me into another town where another set of cops got involved. The was a chopper above with a spotlight on me that lit everything up like day. I took a left into a cement plant. They followed. I ended up doing donuts with the cop cars all around me until I finally gave it up.

They approached the my truck with weapons drawn, dragged me out of the passenger side window. I came out swinging. They proceded to do a Rodney King on me. Cuffed me hand and foot, then cuffed the feet and hand cuffs together in hog tie fashion and threw me headfirst into a cruiser.

I don’t remember anything after that. A friend bailed me out. $750. I refused the breathalizer on the grounds of the 5th amendment, which got my license automatically suspended for a year. The charges were DUI, fleeing, resisting arrest with violence, criminal trespassing, and anything else they could throw at me. I was up shits creek. Multiple felonies and probably would have to do time. On top of that, I cooked the engine to my truck and was unable to show up for work, a carpenter’s job.

I went to see a lawyer. He told me I probably didn’t have a chance, but he’d try to keep me out of jail as a first time offender. But it didn’t look good. $750.

I got my notice to appear. Then it was postponed. Got another. Postponed again. Repeat. One morning I read about a scam artist in Central Florida who had made millions scamming old people out of their retirement savings. He hired F. Lee Bailey out of San Francisco to head up his defense team. The State of Florida kept them out of court for 3 years at great cost to the scammer. Bailey finally sued the State of Florida for violation of his client’s right to a speedy trial. It went to the Supreme Court, and Bailey won. For the first time, the US had to define what “Speedy” meant.

Defendants had a right to a speedy trial. If the State couldn’t bring the defendant to trial within 90 days for a misdemeanor, or 120 days for each felony, a mistrial had to be declaired. I brought the info to my lawyer’s attention. He said it was brand new and hadn’t been used in the county yet, but it was my only chance,

He told me to sit in the back of the courtroom until I was called. I cut my hair so the cops wouldn’t recognize me. Cops from two towns and the county Sheriff’s department showed up to testify. The whole front bench on the procecutor’s side was filled with uniforms. They wanted my ass bad.

In opening statements, my lawyer stood up and stated that he would move for dismissal based on the fact that his client’s rights had been violated per the speedy trial law, Somebody v. the State of Florida, 1974. Silence. The judge said wait a minute. Lawyer handed him some papers. Silence. Judge reading. Then he announced that the case of the State v. Me was dismissed based on blah blah blah. The front row behind the prosecutor exploded with men standing and loudly expressing their disdain for the judicial system. My lawyer’s assistant went back to where I was, grabbed my by the arm and pulled me out of the courtroom, to the parking lot, and threw me into a cab.

I never drank again behind the wheel. I know how lucky I was. I was looking at time and life as a felon. Life as a dishwasher. I vowed that I would never put myself in that position again. For a year, I felt uncomfortable leaving the house. I didn’t want to be seen in public. It really fucked my head up. In about 2 years, I paid my debts and fines, bought a shitty old truck, was in school and doing cabinet work on the side. That was it for me. No more renegade bullshit.

Almost twenty years later, after ten years as a merchant marine, I had finished my university courses in nursing and had applied to sit for the boards for my RN. The charge of DUI nearly twenty years before nearly eliminated me from sitting for the boards. I had to appear before the Board of Professional Regulation for the State of Florida, with tons to references in my hand from my teachers and doctors whom I had worked with during my practicum, another lawyer which cost me another $1,100, and get approved. I barely skated through that one as well.

I am one lucky sonuvabitch and count my blessings quite often.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I skipped 88 days of junior high school in grade 7 and still passed. I erased the messages from the schools robo calls from my dad’s answering machine.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I was 19 at the time. It was the day for a tradition of my family that everyone had to attend. I was high for some unknown reason. At some point people talked about how my cousin was a chicken for not applying for a motorcycle licence. They used me as an example of success, which only made me higher. I rode away home with faster speed than I should. Suddenly there was a girl running part me. I was riding so fast I didn’t have time to avoid her. And then bam!

I didn’t suffer from any injury. She too, apparently, but she was whining about how her leg hurt. Unluckily for me, her mom and aunt were nearby and they rushed to her. You can imagine how terrified I was. Sure, I could see that she didn’t hurt that bad at all, no broken bone or badly scratched skin. The aftermath of a collision makes you feel more painful than it really is I had been there myself. But how the hell could you convince that to two angry adults when you were the one who started it all? And the girl was still whining so loudly everyone thought she got internal injury. The adults rushed her to the hospital nearby, dragging me along with them. The tests on her took hours and I had to get home fast before my parents knew everything. I lied to the adults that I had an important meeting upcoming. At first they refused to let me go, then the aunt agreed but asked me to leave my phone number. I was restless for the whole day. I feared seeing the police outside my door with the news that the girl was in critical condition.

At last she called. Just as I thought, there was nothing wrong with her. She also decided to forgive me since her niece was also running across the street at that time too. I was off the hood, but that taught me never to get too high when riding again.

PullMyFinger's avatar

I have never made a mistake in my life, so have never had to weasel-out of anything.

I’ve never taken a day off from work, exceeded the posted speed limit, or looked with admiration at any woman other than my wife.

I am considering running for president in 2020, so….you know….please tell your friends…..

jonsblond's avatar

I’ve been punished for my biggest mistakes.

I won a $250 slot machine payout in Lake Tahoe when I was 19. I had an older friend slip into my seat for me to cash in the prize. A security guard knew what happened and he was visibly irked, but he had no proof.

Patty_Melt's avatar

LOL.
I can’t wait to see the posters.
“PULL MY FINGER FOR PRESIDENT – nose boop me to be cute.”

Mariah's avatar

I was confident I wouldn’t die in the next 2 hours so I bullied my parents into letting me take a school exam before going to the ER. I was in the ICU 24 hours later. I am so damn lucky I didn’t die. Cause of death: perfectionism. What a waste that would’ve been.

josie's avatar

Marriage
Cost a lot to weasel out of it though

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