Any tips for being a good mother-in-law?

For start don’t call it the first marriage. Don’t want to jinx it.

Love your son enough that you can accept ALL of his wife’s faults. IF it doesn’t bother him, then it’s NOT a problem!!! That plus NEVER STICK YOUR NOSE IN THEIR BUSINESS!!! IF either of them come to you whining about the other, tell them that it is THEIR business & you *WILL NOT have an opinion!!!

Don’t be overbearing, don’t stir up drama, don’t make my wife cry and don’t be a bitch. Oh wait, not talking about you…
Well…
Be yourself, accept your daughter in law as one of your own but understand she is taking care of your son now, same advice goes for families who have new son in laws. Don’t be up in their business yet be there when they really need it. Most of all just be supportive and proud!!

Respect your son’s choice, no matter what you think. Praise her for what you sincerely like. Include her in family events. Share with her stories about your son, as long as it isn’t about past girlfriends or anything else that might make either of them uncomfortable. Share family history and photos. When in their home, do not judge. Offer to assist and do not be offended if the offer is turned down; she may just want to treat you as an honored guest.

I had little experience because my daughter and her husband lived in another state. I didn’t call them often (like my mother and inlaws did the first five years). My SIL was not likable to me, much less lovable. They tried to get our two families together for whatever reason and I didn’t participate. I’ve never felt like just because someone else did something that I automatically had a new friend or family member. I knew I would never be friends with his family and I would simply tolerate him when I had to.

Another thought…what did your MIL do well? What might she have done to make it easier on you? Take those thoughts into consideration.

Don’t talk.

Oh, another. Do not show up on their doorstep without an invitation.

Be helpful without interfering and NEVER criticise your daughter in law.

Realize that DIL now comes first and as said above, don’t criticize her or get son in between you and her. Enjoy and support their love. Make her feel welcome in the family and try not to have too many opinions about the wedding.

On the subject of weddings, I’ve found it’s best to figure out how much money you can and would like to contribute to the wedding, tell them that lump sum and not get bullied by anyone into paying more. If you’re honest about it upfront, they should honor your needs. (That being said, if you give a flat amount, you can’t try to micro-manage the wedding – a bad thing to do in any case.)

And all the things about keeping your mouth shut go even double or triple if grandchildren come.

Remember there is still a place for you in your son’s heart. I am currently having a wonderful weekend with S2, his wife and their 22 month old daughter but I have worked hard to learn MIL 101!