The identity chooses the person vs. the person chooses the identity?

It’s probably just a matter of semantics, but I prefer the latter as well.

Keeping with your example, I’d prefer to say: I don’t eat meat.
No defining or labeling desired or required.

@jvgr – Well said! Do what you want, let others define you, if they must.

Unfortunately, too many people follow the opposite way. Followers of a school of thought may try to amend their beliefs/values to suit the various extensions of that system. I think people who do so are unable to be truly happy, because their chosen path is at odds with their core beliefs.

Then again, if your identity is developed through life, who’s to say that you aren’t just following codes of behaviour that have been drilled into you since birth, and that labels are wholly appropriate to define who you are?

Hm…

Depends on the person. Some people like the ‘idea’ of something, like the ‘idea’ of being a vegetarian or the ‘idea’ of being buddhist, so they change themselves to form that image. Then there are the people who just don’t want to eat meat and are thefore deemed vegetarians/the people who actually have the set of beleifs that buddhists have and are therefore labeled as buddhist.
I know someone close to me who likes the idea and image of someone who is artsy so they paint and whatnot to acheive that image. Sure, they enjoy painting but if this ‘artsy’ label never existed, I strongly beleive they never would have taken up the hobby.
This makes me want to use the example, “I like girls, therefore I am a lesbian. Not, I am a lesbian, therefore I like girls.”