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notsonormal's avatar

I fantasize a lot about my future. I mean A LOT. Is it unhealthy?

Asked by notsonormal (6 points ) December 29th, 2008

I’m a college student. When I get bored and I’m by myself, I’ll start to fantasize about the future. I realize that is normal for someone my age, but I feel like I go about fantasizing in a different way.

For instance, I’ll think, Where am I going to live after I graduate? I’ll go on Craigslist and look at available apartments in different cities that look like they would be cool to live in. “Oh that looks like a cool neighborhood.” “Those roomates look like they would be cool to live with.” I’ll start looking up local businesses around that apartment, in that neighborhood. “Oh cool there’s a coffeeshop right next to it.” I’ll go to the coffeeshops website to see what kind of place it is.

Finally after a half hour of exploring the neighborhood, wikipedia-ing the city, looking at houses on craigslist, and looking at potential roomates, I’ll come back to earth and realize that I still have a year of college left and am getting a degree in a major that I don’t like (anthro) and probably will not get a job where I can afford to live in that particular city.

Then I pick a new city and start again. Boom, two hours of time on the internet doing that.

I guess my question is, is all of this as unhealthy as I think it is? I can’t stop…I get so bored late at night and can’t think of anything else.

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28 Answers

googlybear's avatar

I think it’s healthy to think about the future…just don’t get too caught up thinking about the future and forget to live the current….

ekglad's avatar

I do that all the time. its completely healthy as long as you realize that things can change fast!

90s_kid's avatar

I do that too much. I want to be in the music business some day so talk to me I will be famous :^B

queenzboulevard's avatar

I have 2 years left and I think about it a lot too. I just expect things not to go the way I imagine them, that way I’ll be happy with anything LOL

MicaDirtCat's avatar

Your excited!! That’s great and how you should feel. You don’t seem to have a “oh my god I gotta get outta this crap hole, I hate my life” so you are just itching for when you get out there. You will probably start calming down as you get , closer to graduating and you have to start looking at things more realistically but for now, live it up. As long as it doesn’t start to create abnormal anxiety or cramp your normal social life, let yourself dream a little. The real world will come soon enough.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I think it’s perfectly normal and healthy. You’re excited about your future and you want it to be good, so you’re trying to give yourself ideas of what you want. It’s better than graduating college and saying, “Shit. What now?!”. :) Keep exploring your fantasy world – it’s a great way to get to know yourself.

mrjadkins's avatar

I have been out of college for 10 years now and I still am excited about my future! Don’t ever lose the excitement!

augustlan's avatar

When I was a poor high school student, we used to go driving around the richest neighborhood we knew, just to gaze at the mansions longingly. When I was a young married woman, my ex-husband and I used to visit all the model homes in new neighborhoods, even though we knew we were a long way from being able to afford such places. I think it’s perfectly normal for you to use the internet to do the same thing, and a whole lot easier : )

wundayatta's avatar

Man, I wish I’d done that kind of stuff when I was in college. I didn’t even think about a job until I had graduated. That was a disaster!

m_dub's avatar

The more specific you can be about what you want in the future, the greater your chances are in attaining the future that you desire.

If you’ve got places you want to go, things you want to do and goals you want to achieve, you should write them down (the more detailed, the better), and put your list somewhere you will see it everyday.

The real fun begins when you start crossing things off.

susanc's avatar

Think of it as “research”. Very respectable.

galileogirl's avatar

Fantasy is great when you have more time than money and decades open before you. In fact you don’t have to even think of it as fantisizing, You are life planning and weighing your alternatives. Even at my stage in life where I can count my years left on 2 hands, I give myself over to what I am going to do when I win the lottery on a regular basis.

jazzjeppe's avatar

I say it would be unhealthy not to think about one’s future. What you are doing is marking out a path. When you have found a path that feels right for you, you will have goals in sight which I believe is of great importance for succeeding in life and careers. Keep dreaming, keep fantasizing and I wish you a good and healthy life!

mrdh's avatar

Yes I do that too. But the difference is that I’m going to university in a year, not leaving. I have this Master Plan. And I keep worrying what if it doesn’t go to plan!?! The biggest fear I have right now (except for my fear of heights and cockroaches) is that I won’t get into any of the unis I applied to. Shit.

simpleD's avatar

@queenzboulevard I think Nabokov uses this device in Invitation to a Beheading, but I’m not sure of the reference. The main character realizes that nothing goes as planned, so he plans his future in exacting detail as he doesn’t want it to happen.

m_dub's avatar

oh young bloods (RE: last couple of responses). Hope for the best, expect the worst and just roll with the punches. We don’t always get what we want, but sometimes what we want isn’t what we need. It’s so cliché, but things happen for a reason… and things always make sense in retrospect. It’s not the destination, it’s how you get there—Believe that!

LostInParadise's avatar

Nothing wrong with a little fantasizing. The only thing that concerns me is that you say you do not like your major. That seems a bit unforutnate. Does that mean that the job you choose will not be based on any knowledge of anthropology but just based on having a college diploma?

notsonormal's avatar

lostinparadise: yes.

lifeflame's avatar

Yes it’s normal and natural to dream ahead.
However, if you find yourself spending disproportionate amounts of time on the future, you might want to look at your present situation. Are you happy in college? Are you doing what you love? If not, why aren’t you?

Mizuki's avatar

I may be unhealthy if you are choking your chicken all the time….

desiree333's avatar

I am the exact same as you. I always fantasize about my future, like what job Im going to have, house, family, etc. I think its because I really dont feel like I am the same age that I am. I am WAY more mature than all my friends and I am really different than most people my age. Like all they care about is parties and hair and other stuff. I seem to be the only one actually wanting to go to university and think about the importnt things in life. My mind is out of high school.

galileogirl's avatar

Who here has not fantasized about how they are going to spend their lottery winnings?

90s_kid's avatar

Poor. But I have the thought of greed when I really win it, but try to avoid it. I do not want to live a rich, rich life. But neither a poor, poor one. In the middle is fine for me.

wundayatta's avatar

Isn’t that why you buy a lottery ticket? So you can have the fantasy about winning?

I wonder if the fantasies we have for free are as good as the ones that cost money?

90s_kid's avatar

This question keeps popping up, it seems that it will never die.
I mean, the person who wrote it hasn’t even been on in a month!

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Everything starts with a dream or an idea and you will only be young once. Just DO IT.

Lorenita's avatar

I do the same all the time..!

MJilove's avatar

Yeah I’m the same way. Except I try to find ways to got to the guy I love who lives really super far (another country) in addition to my future. And it is healthy because once you realize what you want you make it happen. So u get what u want for your future because you believed. It’s great. :)

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