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ronski's avatar

How would you act around a teacher if you felt like they disliked you, but you still want to pass the class?

Asked by ronski (722 points ) February 23rd, 2009

I have a teacher that obviously doesn’t like me for any particular reason. I realize that this happens a lot (with people who aren’t just your teachers), but I have to pass this class to graduate and I am not a suck up, so I’m not sure how to act in order to pass it. Maybe it doesn’t matter how I act? What would you do? Have you experienced this before?

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19 Answers

Allie's avatar

Kill ‘em with kindness.
Honestly, just try not to fuck up. Don’t give them a reason to dislike you more than [you think] they already do. Do your work, participate in discussions – be average my man (or woman?)!
Once you’ve graduated or passed the class you can tell them to fuck off if you feel so inclined. …but you’d better hope you don’t need their help later.

gailcalled's avatar

Study, pay attention in class, take good notes, write well-thought-out papers and ace the exams. It works every time.

A_Beaverhausen's avatar

kiss their ass :) works everytime

LouisianaGirl's avatar

If I were you I would act like myself. if she doesn`t like you for who you are she needs to just deal with it and get over herself. That or not really suck up like a teachers pet but kiss up by like helping her when she needs it like picking up her papers when they fall open doors for her talk to her just be nice. Or just kiss up.

aprilsimnel's avatar

You need to talk to the teacher and phrase things in a way so you’re looking to to see how you’re getting on in the class and if there’s anything you can do to make sure you keep progressing and learning. That’s true, isn’t it, that you want to do well in the class? That’s not sucking up, to have a little chat about this with Teach.

Mind you, if you get the feeling that s/he honestly doesn’t like you, then you’ve learned a handy life lesson: everyone isn’t going to like everyone – AND THAT’S OK! Sometimes people don’t like people just on account of because. Not your problem. Don’t worry about whether s/he likes you as a person. Just make sure you’re doing your work and participating, for your sake. The teacher is only the facilitator. You’re doing the learning.

cak's avatar

All of what gailcalled said, and be respectful.

Just as a clarification – being respectful, does not mean sucking up. At all. Being respectful means, be on time, be prepared, check the issues at the door and stay on task. That is respectful.

Brown nosing, sucking up…anything like that, ugh.

augustlan's avatar

I really don’t think it’s necessary to alter your behavior at all. Just do the work. Teachers are people, and are bound to have personal preferences for or against some people. That doesn’t mean they aren’t professional to look past those preferences and give you a fair grade.

gailcalled's avatar

I have been on both sides of the desk. My personal experience was that either sucking up and kissing ass or being sucked up to, etc. were not helpful learning or teaching techniques.

ronski's avatar

@gailcalled what if this class is not based on test scores…because it is an art class, it is based on my work, and it seems like I’m not getting the same kind of feedback other students are getting, so I’m not sure how to go about getting the feedback I need as a student to pass the class.

chelseababyy's avatar

Just do my best with everything. Do great work, regardless of whether the teacher likes you, if it’s quality stuff, you should be fine.

LouisianaGirl's avatar

Study study study because if your grades are up and she fails you what will she say when someone ask since this person had wonderful grades in your class why did you fail him/her what would she say i failed him/her because I dont like her.

augustlan's avatar

Ah, art is a bit more subjective. In this case, I’m going to second aprilsimnel’s advice. Talk to the teacher – about the class, not her feelings about you. Be professional and respectful, and ask for direction.

galileogirl's avatar

I am always amazed at students who think teachers ‘hate’. This usually comes from teenagers who are all open nerve ends about where they are and how they fit in. Most HS teachers deal with 150–175 students/day. Most are just a blur to us, certainly we don’t expend the energy to hate anyone. At worst the kid who interferes with the flow of the class is annoying but part of being an experienced teacher is dealing with that.

College teachers are even less engaged with their students.

Since it is an art class, do you think he doesn’t like you because he is critical of your work? There are a couple of ways of looking at that. Are you just taking the class because need a gen ed arts class? Maybe he thinks you aren’t paying attention or doing your best. Are you serious about your art? If so, don’t worry, stay true to your talent. When I took a required art class in college, the instructor treated me if I was mildly retarded and artistically, I am. I took the class credit/no credit which took the pressure off both of us.

loser's avatar

Ask a question about what they’re lecturing about. Teachers love to know that SOMEBODY is paying attention… instant points!!!

tiffyandthewall's avatar

act courteously, as you would to any other teacher. it’s not a matter of sucking up. just be respectful. if the teacher really does have it out for you, and you’re still being polite, it’s going to become pretty obvious that you’re not the problem.
if you’re really convinced the teacher has a reason to not like you, perhaps just look into it quietly. like, maybe you’re doing something specific that the teacher seems pissed off about? listen to criticism, etc, even if you don’t like it. you don’t have to take shit from them if they’re giving you any, or poor grades when you deserve a better one, but just keep in mind that you could definitely be overreacting.

LouisianaGirl's avatar

Show that you are dedicated to your school work and that wont change weather she likes you or not.

ronski's avatar

@galileogirl Yea, I respect teachers and I know it is hard for them as well, always to be put up on to a critical pedestal. Alas, I am so used to my work being critiqued, that I can’t imagine that being the problem. I don’t think he ‘hates’ me, I just think that he is unwilling to give me the same kind of support he gives other students. I think that he thinks my ideas are immature and that because our classroom is so small (20 people), he gets to know the students pretty well.
But your right, I’m probably over sensitive, although during my big midterm him and another teacher were whispering to one another and he talked to me in the third person, which he didn’t do to anyone else, so it just made me feel like an outsider.

eaglei20200's avatar

You’ve gotta approach the teacher. Start with specific evidence, not your conclusions.

“Can we talk? I feel as though you don’t always understand me. Several times I’ve said things and your response wasn’t what I was expecting. Sometimes it feels as though you don’t call on me when I raise my hand. I am not sure I understand the grade I received on my last paper.”

Some teachers don’t like specific kids. Most of us (teachers) work really hard not to feel that way, or at least not to show it. Most of us will respond pretty positively to a student who approaches us about issues like these. Often we learn things about the student that we didn’t, but need to, know. Sometimes we find we’ve made mistakes, that we’ve misjudged.

Some teachers won’t get it, I’m sure, but it has to be worth a try. But approach gently, in the spirit of “I don’t understand” and not in a spirit of accusation or anger. You do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, and putting someone on the defensive seldom achieves the goals you really want. In this case your goal is respect and understanding.

Good luck.

frienemies0113's avatar

One of my teachers didn’t quite like me, because she played favorites. When she screamed at me, i would be honest, say the answer instead of when most people would avoid eye contact. EX. ‘why are you talking to Ali while i’m teaching?!?’ “Because she asked me a question” Whoops! she considered that sassy. Well, i studied for all her tests, and since i got it rite she had to give me an a. Also i’d finish her assignements a week early to show her i remembered.

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