How can I quit drinking when my husband enjoys it so much?

Go to an alanon meeting. You will find people who are experiencing the same thing you are, who have been there, done that, and who can tell you what has worked for them and what hasn’t. A 12 pack 3–4 times per week is a lot. It is obviously affecting your relationship. Alcohol should be a beverage. If it’s more than a beverage, it’s a problem.

Judi is right, you could also start here

You have multiple issues to address, your health, the environment you are raising your child in and the drinking. Good luck.

Thank you for your support, both of you. I feel guilty asking my husband to quit, especially when he calls me a hypocrite.

How? you ask…support, support, support. Alanon…yes! And maybe a parenting support group since you obviously recognize the need to keep your child from becoming involved in this. Don’t worry about your husband. You cannot change him. The only person you can change is yourself. Having recognized a problem and being willing to fix it is half the battle.

Ask him to think about your child.

I still don’t have a strong relationship with my father because he was a alcoholic for most of my life. He went to rehab about two years ago, gotta admit it was to late for us.

AA, Alanon… if you think you have a problem and want to stop, but aren’t sure how, I’d check out an open AA meeting. Alanon will help you deal with his stuff…

Good luck, just remember to breathe and do the next right thing as best you can. Take care.

Why does he have to quit just because you want to? My husband and I had similar issues and we just agreed to disagree about drinking. I rarely touch alcohol in any form anymore. I was concerned about my health and advancing age. My husband does not care about his health. We used to joke that we sound like the old Jimmy Buffet song – I treat my body like a temple, he treats his like a tent. If you want to quit drinking beer, just quit. Let your husband do what he needs to do. It is not our right to interfere with the karma of another. Your husband has issues he has to deal and lessons he has to learn. Leave him to his issues, and just put down the beer.

@VS ; Most relationships are to intertwined for that. Especially when children are involved. It’s great if it works for you, but it’s not that easy for everyone.

@VS: Does your husband drink as much as @schnitzengiggles‘s husband? Are your children adversely affected by their father’s drinking? Did your husband accuse you of anything when you quit drinking? She’s not asking him to quit, just to cut back. If he doesn’t want to do that even when she brings up the welfare of their child, then it becomes a problem and maybe he should quit.

@Judi @KatawaGrey – I could feel the issues arising as I was writing my response to this question. You both have valid points about the children. It did not affect my child, I was never accused of things when I quit, and it is quite possible that my husband doesn’t/didn’t drink as much as schnitzen’s husband. My thought was simply that his unwillingness to quit should not preempt her from quitting. She should do what is best for her own situation and what is in the best interest of all concerned, predominantly her children. Until she quits, she may have no real clue as to how detrimental THEIR drinking is to the family dynamics. A clearer head certainly helped me to see things I had been in denial about for years. Her statement “WE often end up buying beer during the week” sounded quite familiar, as I was the beer buyer for years. My point was simply that she needs to do what is best for HER to start with, and then make a decision about what to do from there.

I had this problem with smoking—I quit and my husband didn’t. I asked him to, but he couldn’t. We compromised—he smoked outside and would stand far enough away from me that I wouldn’t breathe his smoke. I got him to agree to this by talking to him about MY health rather than his. I said “I’ve made this decision to better my health…don’t you want to help me be healthier?” I knew that saying he should quit for HIS health would only prompt a “my health is my business” response. Because of my example, he was able to cut down how much and how often he smokes. I would focus on YOUR drinking habits first and then talk to him about his. It’s hard enough to change one person—try setting an example and being patient. He really has to want to quit drinking—if he does it onloy because you tell him to, it won’t last.