Would you like to get all your farting out of the way, and never fart again?

No, I would like to continue to spread them across the years.

As George Carlin said, “You know, your own smell fairly decent.”

I prefer to fart when the need arises.
I’ve been very gassy of late, and my kids call me artsy-fartsy

What fun would that be?

Each fart is unique and should be appreciated….....not that I’m an expert or anything.

Arooooooooooooooooooo !

Oh yeah. Go ahead and take away the one thing I excel at.

Are you mad???!!??? Why would you ever want to?? I come up with some of my best ideas when brewing one :-)

Wanting to get all of my farts out doesn’t factor into it, if I did, all of that methane gas would lead to an explosion. We’re talking massive casualties here, so I’ll take mine one at a time.

Plus, what would I blame on the dog then? Eating my homework? That line’s been tried too many times.

Maybe we could talk ole Donny Trump into building US a fart-factory where unwanted farts could be deposited and used to save the planet…..or mabe just GM.

But then I’d have no use for my fingers!

What about just having ONE HUGE fart…

simone: Roseanne Barr tried that and got her show cancelled.

Once, a firefighter farted into a fire on the job to show off to his firefightin’ buddies. Now, he has to eat 16 meals a day, because the fire went straight up his intestines. You can figure the rest, hopefully. How’s that for an interesting fact?

If for the amount of time it took to get rid of all my farts AND no one was harmed (re: what @jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities said regarding the effects of methane!) then yes, I would love to be able to do that. I don’t like having to fart and, although I find it funny when other people do it it’s not something I EVER feel relaxed enough to do myself (I get embarressed even when I am on my own and I fart!!!) so yes, I would love to get rid of it all and never fart again!

leanne: I hereby pronounce you ” fart-free”. Go with the wind…........or is that without the wind?

God I love to fart. It is an expression of my freedom. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

You are not alone jamie: May the farts be with you.

You know I ate a lot of beans last night, got a bag of 16 bean soup, and ate a few bowls.

Hmmm. Interesting experience: I woke up about 3 this morning with an “urge”, and it felt like I needed to sh*t sit on the commode. Ended up with about 10 minutes of “gas attack!” Reminds me of a piece of graffitti I saw in a pay toilet years ago

Her I sit
All broken hearted
Paid to sh*t
But only farted!

Not many people know this one, so I’ll share the knowledge. Whoopie Goldberg farts so much she sounds like a Whoopie Cushion. Hence her name Whoopie.