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drdoombot's avatar

Apartment-dwellers: How do you get someone to stop ringing your bell if they're not coming up to see you?

Asked by drdoombot (8095 points ) November 9th, 2009

Since my aunt lives in the same building as I do, we frequently have relatives stopping by both apartments. One cousin of mine has the habit of ringing both apartment bells when she is going to visit her mother.

I called her out on it once and she blamed it on her kids. To be fair, they were doing it also because they had learned it from her. After talking to the kids about it, they stopped. The mother, however, keeps doing it. I’ve mentioned it to her more than once, and I’ve received the following responses:

“I was in a hurry; I needed to be let in fast.”
“What’s the big deal? The movement will help you lose weight.”
And the most frequent one:
“I thought I would visit your place first, but changed my mind in the elevator.”

Out of frustration, I just don’t buzz her in anymore. She doesn’t even notice because her mother is buzzing her in.

It seems like a silly thing to be annoyed by, but I can’t help it. She has a distinct way of ringing the bell (mashing the button several times quickly) which sounds urgent, which makes me angry because it’s not urgent. Plus, I value silence and that bell jerks me out of whatever solitary reverie I’m in the middle of.

At this point, after having brought it up many times, is there a way for me to stop this without making a big deal about it? My mother gets real upset with me when I clash with her relatives…

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20 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

@drdoombot This has little to do with you living in an apartment and a lot to do with your family relationships.

Either go down to the mailbox (or wherever your buzzer is) and put up a new name tag, or call your cousin on the phone, or email, and tell her how much you value your privacy and solitude.

If you live in a city, then remind her how hard it can be to find tranquility…let her know it’s difficult enough living in a bldg with other family members and trying to conduct a private life.

Axemusica's avatar

Step 1. Find a neighbor (a new resident or empty place would be perfect) that’s willing to change their buzzer.
Step 2. Find the building’s maintenance guy & ask him to switch the buzzers around. Shouldn’t be that hard to do.
Step 3. Don’t tell your cousin.
Step 4. Sit back and enjoy your silence.

JLeslie's avatar

I would just get give her her own key. She’s not going to rob anyone, she is alwasy going to be let in.

trailsillustrated's avatar

next time this happens, rush down there yourself and let her in. Scream right into her face, stop pounding on my buzzer!!! don’t ring my buzzer unless you want to see me!!! then huff back upstairs. she’ll get it.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@JLeslie So wise. That would be her mom’s responsibility though. As an apartment manager, you have to be careful in whom you give keys to

cookieman's avatar

Call the police and tell them you’re being harrassed. When they come to arrest her, completely deadpan, say, “I have never seen this woman before in my life”.

Val123's avatar

Is it possible that she’s doing it on purpose to annoy you? If so, ignoring it is the way to cure it. It’s no fun to annoy someone who refuses to be annoyed.

galileogirl's avatar

I don’t answer the door unless I am expecting someone. People should call ahead.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@galileogirl That’s the way I am.

JLeslie's avatar

@SpatzieLover the cousin has children so I assume she is old enough to carry her own key, or did I misunderstand who @drdoombot is complaining about?

SpatzieLover's avatar

@JLeslie It doesn’t matter that she’s an adult. Her mom would be the responsible party on her own lease and would need to decide whether or not she wanted to share an entrance key with her own daughter. I think we’ve all given @drdoombot some things to consider doing.

@JLeslie maybe mom hasn’t shared a key for a reason?

Havalina's avatar

Or you could always move to a different apartment building…..

JLeslie's avatar

@SpatzieLover Now I see what you mean. I did not think that through well. In my family we all have each other keys and we all live in different states.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@JLeslie Yes, we did this with our family, too. Not all families are sane though ;)

JLeslie's avatar

@SpatzieLover So true. Lol. Although, I hesitate to say my family is sane.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@JLeslie <rolls eyes> Mine isn’t…but I still trust ‘em with keys!

YARNLADY's avatar

I like @trailsillustrated idea. Just tell her off in person next time she does it, and that should put an end to it. It would be even better if you had soapy hair, to prove she just interrupted you.

avvooooooo's avatar

Do you have many visitors? If not, you could rig your buzzer with something like a note that says “If you touch this buzzer, your finger will rot off” or tape a pin to it… maybe a “dirty needle” label… I think there are several ways to send the message. If you know she’s coming, you can go down and rig it before she’s expected so it doesn’t have to stay there for long.

But for sure go down and scream at her. No one should be doing this mess, there’s no excuse for it.

tinyfaery's avatar

Start calling her at 3am.

SeventhSense's avatar

Call her by name to the window and drop a bucket of cold water on her.
If she does it again, an anvil

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