General Question

trailsillustrated's avatar

My daughter is in trouble. What can I do right now?

Asked by trailsillustrated (16799points) November 24th, 2009

I have written of this before here. My daughter was at the top of the class and student of the year one year ago. Today I learn she has been expelled from the private high school I sent her to and is living with neighbours down the street. I am in the us, she is in australia. I have been trying to contact her on fb. I am told by her father both the computers that I sent to my children last year are broken. I am having trouble getting any details out of him about what is going on, she was going to come here to live with me in January but now I want her to come right now. How can I expedite passport services? Should I call child protective services? Should I call her school and demand to know why no one contacted me when she started having problems there? I don’t know what to do….

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24 Answers

Dog's avatar

If it was me I would be booking a flight and packing my bag.

Your daughter needs you by her side NOW.

Once there you can sort through the rest face-to-face and hopefully bring her home by Christmas.

trumi's avatar

I’m sorry you’re in this situation :(

I guess if dialogue between you and your daughter’s father has broken down the best thin you can do is fly down there. You have a better shot of convincing him, and her, in person, and if it progresses to a legal battle you will be much better off fighting it there than over the phone.

Sabotage82's avatar

I would contact somebody other than Fluther for an issue like this.

Snarp's avatar

Yeah, I’d be on my way to Australia and/or hiring a lawyer who specializes in international custody issues. Something sounds fishy here.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Sabotage82 thankyou!! that is especially helpful!

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’d contact the school, as well, ASAP! I don’t understand why no one would have reached out to you, too. Email is ubiquitous.

Sabotage82's avatar

@trailsillustrated Don’t mention it. Sometimes you just need a point in the right direction. Good luck.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@aprilsimnel no I am ringing them when they open and her dad too

mattbrowne's avatar

Is there a person in Australia you can trust? In case you can’t make the trip right now.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@mattbrowne no not really. I’m contacting the consulate, I can’t make the trip because my husband can’t go and doesn’t want me to go alone grrrrr I’ve been back and forth about a hundred times over the years…I’m going to try to get her passport expedited and I’m ringing her dad and her school and trying to find out where she is so I can ring her and talk to her

flameboi's avatar

(You can sue the school for sure)
The best you can do to expedite the passport is:
Contact the U.S. Embassy in Australia, then, contact the Consul and ask for the help, explain the situation, they will find your daughter, and depending on the case, they will issue a passport inmediately after they confirm her identity, then ,you can ask for emergency allowance that will cover your daughter’s expenses to get her out of Australia that you will pay back as soon as she is back home.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Getting her to you as quickly as possible is fine but if it were me, I’d still contact the school and maybe a few friends to ask for some background on her behaviors in the past year so you have an idea of what’s coming and why. My gut says trouble with your ex who may have given her some insulting dressdowns and now he doesn’t want the details known.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@flameboi thankyou, I can pay for it I just want them to issue her passport now, thankyou I’ve got the consulate’s numbers up now I’m ringing them when they open, thankyou

trailsillustrated's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence I have an idea that he hit her (the ex) but have no idea why they wouldn’t tell me I have told them both to tell me right away if anything like that happened

Snarp's avatar

A lot of this depends on what exactly the custody arrangement is. Assuming you have some custodial rights and the school had your contact information, you probably should have been notified. Also, how reliable is your source on what your daughter is up to?

trailsillustrated's avatar

@flameboi thanks! THATs what I was trying to find

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Snarp I don’t have custody (long story) he does but I am paying for her private school and they have all my contact details and no, it’s hard to fiind out exactly what she’s been up to, thats the thing I’m trying to find out

flameboi's avatar

@trailsillustrated
check your inbox, I will give you a contact

mattbrowne's avatar

@trailsillustrated – Sorry to hear that. Yes, involving the embassy and consulate seems like the best course of action then. It might help to know a local sympathetic Australian.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@mattbrowne I only know the people in my hometown and they don’t want to get involved in anything

avvooooooo's avatar

@trailsillustrated If you’re not the custodial parent, they probably aren’t required, or even allowed, to contact you.

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