Should my mom have to think twice about letting me go to a dance?

Not really. She it wants you to be safe and all. Can you blame her for caring about you? And there will be more dances, I promise. This isn’t the end of the world. xD Life will go on.

You’re in 8th grade.. I don’t blame her.
She’s probably going to let you go.. it’s just hard to think about her daughter going to a school dance.
You’re growing up. You’ll be moving out in a few years. She’s probably sad thinking about that.

She probably has a good reason. Relax, there are plenty of events in the future that you can go to. Missing this dance won’t kill you.

She probably just wants to look into it and see what the supervision is and to make sure that you will be okay. Like it or not, that is her job, and you are lucky to have a parent that cares enough to check up on you.

Maybe she’s concerned about you. I would be since the question prior to this you want to end pain and even mention suicide. That shouldn’t even be a thought in your mind.

depends on where you live, My 8th grade dance was the best dance..so far. Fight this one i think you will miss out if you don’t go…

Should your mom have to think twice about letting you go to a dance? That would depend on any number of things – your behavior in the past and if she thinks you’re trustworthy, her behavior in the past (believe it or not, all of us were 8th graders once and we know what they can get up to), the place where the dance is and if she thinks you’ll be safe, what you’d be doing before and after the dance, who you’re going to the dance with and if that person is trustworthy, etc. etc. etc.

Not stupid, just protective. That’s her job. Demonstrate to your mother that you are a trustworthy person by doing what is expected of you around the house, being respectful, following the rules, and getting good grades and I’ll bet your chances of going to dances in the future will increase exponentially. If you are already doing all of those things and after reviewing all of the pertinent information (how you are getting there, who you are going with, etc.) if she feels comfortable with the situation she might even say yes this time.

Have you, perhaps given her a reason not to trust you?

Adding to @laureth‘s list, depending on how plugged in she is to the underground mom hotline, she may have had an earful about things that went on at other 8th grade dances, and wants to make sure that she’s comfortable with how yours is organized. You could offer to have her chaperone the dance.

With this previous question I am completely and utterly in love with someone i have been on and off with all throughout junior high and he told me we should take a break til high school because my mom and stepdad do not like him and i have been getting in trouble…but its been two weeks, i can’t get over it one bit and i miss him so bad I can see that there are already a lot of issues that you need to concentrate on.

It sounds to me like you need to have a talk with your parents and get these issues straightened out.

Talk to her about why she is concerned (is there a guy you are close to? the clothes are too skimpy? or what?) and then work with her to get to an agreement. Maybe she could be a chaperone, if she really wants to make sure all goes well. But I would hope that you two can work it out so you can go. These are fun things to do with friends, and these are important events in growing up.

I second Yarnlady’s observation.

Plus, if you’re planning to go with the boy in question, I would be thinking it over also. As a matter of fact, it would be stupid NOT to.

You can’t see it now, of course, but there will come a day when you will appreciate your Mother caring enough to supervise your activities and set appropriate boundaries.

It’s not emotionally healthy for someone your age to wrap your entire life around one guy. It’s way too obsessive. I know it feels right to you, but that’s your hormones.

It sounds as if some balance in your life could be enormously helpful in multiple ways.

Try not to fight your Mom’s limits so automatically and try to realize how much she loves and cares for you.

I know this may sound a little counter intuitive but try looking at it like this. Wouldn’t it be far easier FOR HER not to be this involved with your life. Wouldn’t it just be a whole lot easier for her to just let you do as you please. She would then have far more time to pursue her own interests and activities rather than being involved with yours.

So why doesn’t she just take the easy, selfish way out. It would certainly make her life a whole lot easier. No arguments, no unpleasantness.

So why does she waste her time on making sure you’re ok?

It’s called love. Sometimes tough love. It’s not always easy but it is necessary. It is a parents’ job. But it would sure be a lot easier to leave that job to someone else ( the cops, the courts, or teachers and social workers) or just let the kid learn from her own mistakes.

Many actions have unchangeable consequences like teenage pregnancy, just to name one.

Your Mom is trying her best to shield you from many of those consequences. The day will come when you’ll be very very glad she took the time and trouble instead of the easy way out.

My mother already dealt with this before when I went to my first dance. She didn’t really care, because she trusted me and it was only middle school. Now I’m in highschool and go to my school dances without any problem. Your mom’s only worried because she cares as lame as it may sound. You’re her baby and I know from personal experience that she’s probably trying to hold on to you because you’re growing up too fast. My mom gets upset when she hears about me going off to college soon.

@dogkittycat..its funny because i ended up going…but not like i was originally going to….i had my friend stay the night and we got bored so we went to the dance late and had to sneak in…most fun i have ever had!!!

@jessicamarie did you sneak out of the house to go to the dance? If the answer to that question is yes, then it is understandable that your mom had to think about allowing you to go.

@SuperMouse No my mom took us and we snuck into the dance…she knew we went

…so how was that sneaking into the dance?

@rangerr It was soooo much fun…plus we didn’t get caught ha ha…and i danced with my ex for some reason ha

Um. Not quite what I meant. But that’s good you had fun.

Yeah, that whole “not getting caught” doing something is probably one good reason for your Mom to worry about you. ;)

@laureth Why? She knew all about it and if i would have got in trouble she wouldn’t have been mad…she would just make me serve whatever punishment the school gave me…it isn’t THAT big of a deal though…we were just having fun

Well sneaking into the dance is kind of a big deal. Out of curiosity, why did you decide to sneak in rather than walk through the front door?

@SuperMouse I also thought when I read the word “sneaking” that it sounded like doing something you know you’re not supposed to be doing

@SuperMouse We were 30 minutes late and i didn’t get my permission slip turned in
its not really THAT big of a deal, we were just having fun and my mom knew all about it so… no harm done