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sevenfourteen's avatar

What makes someone your "best" friend?

Asked by sevenfourteen (2419 points ) April 28th, 2010

Are there certain characteristics that distinguish someone you’d consider your best friend from someone you’d consider just a close friend? Do you even use the term? Does it matter how long you’ve known the person or what experiences you’ve shared with them? Also- do you consider your SO one of your best friends?

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29 Answers

thriftymaid's avatar

This made me think of Anne of Green Gables and her talk of a bosom friend and kindred spirit. That’s what a best friend is.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think being completely on the same wavelength and loving the person and having them be that one friend you can say anything to is what makes them a best friend. When I was younger, I had many best friends but now I only have one and he was my best friend that first year as he is now 8 years later. My SO is also my best friend.

Blackberry's avatar

It’s usually years and years of experiences with the person, for me at least. I have two or 3 best friends and they are only my best friends because I have been with them from middle school to high school. They are the people besides my family that I know the most. If I went home today, we would still feel the same way. We just talk on the phone now.

Seek's avatar

I pretty much gave up that expression around the seventh grade.

I have a very close friend, whom I’ve known for less than a year. She’s the one I spend the most time with, and who I feel most comfortable with. I have friends that I’ve known for years and years, and I know I wouldn’t feel free to confide in them. There are people I consider “friends” because of the friendship we used to have, and I’m kind of afraid to let them see I cut my hair this year…. so there you go.

Scooby's avatar

I don’t have any best friends, they would be people who I confided in but I have a close sister for that. As for just friends, well I just have acquaintances really speaking, I’ve known some of these people for years but we don’t get into each others business, I prefer it like this, makes it less complicated, I like to mind my own business & I much prefer the people who know of me to mind their own business too….
I’ve had my fingers burnt too many times in the past with friendships. :-/

Vunessuh's avatar

Aside from some of the obvious characteristics like honesty, loyalty, love and support, my best friend is also my best critic. They don’t mind calling me on my bullshit and take it when I call them on theirs. We help keep each other’s feet on the ground. They also make me comfortable enough to say pretty much anything and keep free from judgment when I’m in a rut and need some help and guidance.

Rangie's avatar

What makes him my best friend? We see through the same eyes, breathe the same air, we laugh in unison, catch each others tears, and walk through life with 3 legs.. He is my husband.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

When you’re down and out, a your best friend will take time out to make sure you’re ok.

They usually know the worst thing you’ve ever done and still hang out with you despite that.

oreo45's avatar

they know all your dirty little secrits, and they still love being around you.

bummer's avatar

A best friend will hold your hand through trials and tribulations. They will accept your indescretions, cry over your imperfections, share your joys and pick up the tab when you are broke.

Brian1946's avatar

Being my wife makes her my best friend.

slick44's avatar

Having things in common, finishing each others thoughts and sentences, Being there for each other no matter what.

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

A best friend is a person who is there for you no matter way. A best friend is neither judgemental or critical.

Trillian's avatar

I think that a best friend is supportive but won’t hesitate to wave the bullshit flag if necessary.

BoBo1946's avatar

My best friend played college basketball with me…. and our lives have followed similiar paths! We have been “best friends” for almost 50 years!

So, answering your question, think you have to have a lot in common with the person.

le_inferno's avatar

My best friends helped shape who I am…my best friends today are the best friends I had in 3rd/4th grade. We have shared so many life experiences together, created innumerable fond (and not-so-fond) memories, supported each other, been brutally honest with each other, come to know each other inside and out. Although we’re all at college now and aren’t in touch as much as we were back home, our lives are permanently intertwined. That’s when someone is your best friend.

Though, a childhood best friend is different than one you meet later, in my opinion. My cousin and I became quite close in recent years, despite living far apart. We just always share our concerns/experiences and trust each other. We’re very involved in one another’s lives. Similarly, my best friend at college I only met in August, but we spend so much time together. We’re essentially inseparable, we get along wonderfully, and I just adore her as a person. These relationships are different than the deep-rooted, solid foundation of my childhood friends; we don’t need to talk constantly to stay bonded. We don’t have a “day-to-day” sort of friendship, it’s more… innate.

wonderingwhy's avatar

What makes someone your “best” friend?
The depth of the bond we share.

Are there certain characteristics that distinguish someone you’d consider your best friend from someone you’d consider just a close friend?
Beyond the bond, we share and discuss pretty much everything. We are always there for each other. It’s a lot like a s/o.

Do you even use the term?
Not in casual conversation so much, but when describing relationships, yes.

Does it matter how long you’ve known the person or what experiences you’ve shared with them?
Yes, primarily because on my side it takes a long time for that bond to form.

Also- do you consider your SO one of your best friends?
Absolutely, but there is a difference, I’ll purposely bounce certain ideas with my best friend prior to presenting them to my wife.

BoBo1946's avatar

@BoBo1946 pay attention…need a spell check…similar! not, similiar…had to make the correction, the spell cop is here tonight!

sevenfourteen's avatar

@everyone- reading all of these I can tell that although everyone expresses what they value/consider to be “best friend” qualities they all have similar meaning and importance in your lives. It’s nice to reflect every now and then on just how much you value the one’s you love and hold close to you.

evandad's avatar

I’ve had the same one for over 30 years. He’s always been there when I needed help. Even when I’ve been a pain he’s stuck by me. Thanks James.

slick44's avatar

@evandad… you are very lucky, mine died 2 years ago. now i am lost without her.

Jill_E's avatar

Non judgemental, celebrated each other triumphs, lifted each falls, talk endlessly, laughters til our ribs hurt, sillyness, non competitive, kind, loving and caring, accepting each of our flaws, supportive, and understanding without explaining is what I describe my best friends.

WolfFang's avatar

My best friends are people who are there for me, forgiving, and always have my back. Like others said, we are on the same wavelength and the same level of mental capacity too. It also counts that we have been friends since kindegarden and best friends ever since 3rd grade. We compliment each other in almost everything we do because we were meant to be best friends, our destinies are intertwined. Like mental triplets, a trinity, kinda like sora riku and kairi…

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Best friend to me is the longest term one who is also as you’d say a kindred spirit and their physical proximity to me doesn’t matter, nor does it matter how long we go between face to face visits. Other people are best friends I group in with the bestest friend :), kind of a core group. I’ve got a core group, I’ve got friends and I’ve got acquaintances and all of these people at one time were strangers to me.

sevenfourteen's avatar

@slick44 sorry to hear that… hopefully the times you did have with her were great enough to last a lifetime

Sophief's avatar

I had ‘best’ friends at school, but that changed week by week. My s/o is my ‘best’ friend. I also have a great friend, that I can tell so much to, and he knows me so well, and we’ve never even met.

slick44's avatar

@sevenfourteen… Thank you, I guess they will have to.:(

Mutable's avatar

Trust. You have to be able to trust that they will be there for you through thick and thin. If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything.

rebecca_harris9's avatar

they are very close and you can trust them with everything :) adn and my best friedn are like twin sister we pretty much live together and cant go a week without seeing eachother :P

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