When I lived in NYC, I met some people who would become friends at work. Usually these friendships were made stronger at parties, and then starting to do something together, like going to the park or the Cloisters or, for God’s sake, even touristy stuff.
All my other friends were people I knew before I came to NY. Sometimes they would bring someone new into our lives, but for the most part, I was the one who brought in the new people. I had a job that encouraged socializing. It was a wonderful time. I was maybe three or four years younger than you are now.
You might try joining a book group or a salon or going to events at the Y or the Ethical Culture Society. You might take a course in something you are interested in (dance, writing, ceramics, glass blowing, whatever).
When you eat at restaurants, do you do it alone? The park and bars are basically inviting guys who want a one night thing, rather than anyone who wants a friend.
Where have you volunteered and how is that going? What kind of people are you with? People your age? Older people? Older people can be good because if they think you are nice, they might introduce you to others—usually this is for dates, but I suppose if you make it clear what you are looking for, they might introduce you to people who could be friends.
Do you know any of your neighbors? Have a few over for a party or a cocktail hour, and see what happens. Organize some kind of event—a tour on the circle line, or geocaching or a trip to somewhere. Do this with your coworkers and see what happens. Or people in any of the other groups you are in. You’re looking for friends, so it doesn’t matter what age they are.
Hold a Sunday morning potluck brunch open to anyone you know and any friend they want to bring. Eat and talk. Meet people. Make it a regular event. Once a month or something.
If it comes down to it, you could go home, I suppose. You must have friends there. Oh, have you asked them if they know anyone in NY? Maybe they could introduce you?
It’s networking, babe. Networking. Just like getting a job.
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