Time for limericks!

There once was a girl named McBean
Who had a house nice and clean
She was the perfect rhymer
In fact, you could time her!
And she was as pretty as a beauty queen!

@autumn: awwww…that’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said. <blush>

There’s a charming man called Chuck.
He is funnier than quacking ducks.
A mailman is he,
procrastination is his key
In fluther he is always stuck.

did i do this right?

There is a young lass o’er the Sea,
As pretty as Irish can be,
She never will Flame,
Wildflower’s her name,
She creates her Art, beautifully.

August 31, 2008, 7:15 PM EDT

Wow, these are great!

There once was a cat named MIlo
And a doctor who’s middle name was Shiloh
Though they lived miles apart
There’s a place that was smart
And created a space where they fluthered

A Lady of Class is McBean,
Whom somebody else called a Queen,
She’s owned by two cats,
Her house has no rats,
And designing is where she is KEEN!

August 31, 2008, 7:37 PM EDT

@JackAdams: Yeowza! I like it!

No charge.

You deserve it.

August 31, 2008, 7:45 PM EDT

There is a young woman, who’s fair,
And misses the beaches, “back there,”
SuperMouse is her name,
And leaving’s her game,
Let’s move her to L-A, BY AIR!

August 31, 2008, 7:46 PM EDT

Our Autumn is liked from afar,
The one with the cute avatar,
She’s really a Honey,
With a cute little Bunny,
Who rides in the back of her car.

August 31, 2008, 8:20 PM EDT

If I wanted to know how to jailbreak,
or to find what to do on a real date,
i would crank my computer
to the the page that is floother
and find it all out without headache.

The Stratman is wise, as can be,
Those seeking advice, look to he,
It’s rare when he’s wrong,
He’s great with a song,
And is clever with good comedy!

August 31, 2008, 9:00 PM EDT

JA, thanx! I feel like I’m no longer a newb here!

There once was a flutherer named Jack
whose financials were way out of whack
to friends he would give
so they’d better live
now he’s without so much as a snack!

I am HONORED Sir!

You are a freaking genius!

I wanna be just like you, if/when I grow up!

August 31, 2008, 8:22 PM EDT

Aw, shucks!

To Fluther I came all unknowing
Soon my obsession started a’ growing
To answer and ask
I am up to the task
All jellies here are so glowing.

Marina’s a Wizard, it’s true,
Applause is just what she is due,
Her answers are bright,
When she writes them at night,
They’re composed by her heart, just for you!

August 31, 2008, 10:05 PM EDT

@JA Very sweet, thanks.

PnL gives out great advice
she’ll explain it not once but twice
you’ll leave in the know
and ready to go
thinking “gee that person was nice”

JackAdams is the Limerick King.
With words, he can do anything.
He is witty and wise
and alluring – a prize!
Oh…he’s building a big following.

I’m trying to write a limerick
But can’t think of a clever topic
Kudos to McBean
For this poetic scene
I should go back to work quick

@McBean (the Keen Queen): I am finally at a loss for words…

How kind and nice.

I am humbled by your praise.

Thank you so much!

Jack

August 31, 2008, 11:57 PM EDT

A real good idea had McBean,
Post poems, none angry nor mean,
A worthy endeavor,
From someone so clever,
Who asked us to please keep them clean!

August 32, 2008, 12:16 AM EDT

I do believe we have the master of the art of limerick right here on Fluther.

Yup, JA is da man!

I’m gladdened by all of your praise,
My ego you really do raise,
I’ll keep posting here,
Whenever I’m near,
Excuse me, I must now go GRAZE!

August 32, 2008, 12:28 AM EDT

Alright, alright, now he’s just rubbin’ our noses in it!!

It looks like I messed up the date,
My brain must not be all that great,
The month and the day,
Don’t make sense, in no way,
I would change them, but it is too late!

September 1, 2008, 12:31 AM EDT

He’s on a roll, ladies and gentlemen!

It seems like the Stratman is mad,
However, he has not been had,
I love what I do,
And I do it for you,
And I hope that it makes you feel glad.

September 1, 2008, 12:35 AM EDT

AHHHH!!!! somebody stop him!! j/k, man, give it all ya got. You’re an inspiration!

His usage of rhyme is enchanting.
His rhythm can leave a girl panting.
Can you guess who I mean?
It’s the Limerick machine.
‘Tis JA about whom I am ranting.

“Smokin’!”

—Jim Carrey, as Stanley Ipkiss in The Mask

September 1, 2008, 12:43 AM EDT

I can’t seem to stop writing prose,
To the one with the avatar rose,
She’s so kind and nice,
Made of sugar and spice,
Now, I must water plants, with the hose.

September 1, 2008, 12:47 AM EDT

Unh!

Oh, c’mon, my dear stratman three-seven.
Just admit these are limericks from heaven.
While JackAdams has won,
I believe we are done
On the west coast it’s after 11:00!

Yes, hands down JA has won…Aw, forget it, I was gonna write another limerick – but that would just goad him further!

My cousin had a pet goad, years ago.

He lived on a farm in Pennsylvania.

September 1, 2008, 7:50 AM EDT

Good Morning! a new day begins,
In here, there is no one who “wins,”
I do just like you,
With a rhyme that is new,
And I do it while NOT wearing fins!

September 1, 2008, 7:54 AM EDT

Well, this is such a fun board
These limericks just have me floored!
I wrote my own little ditty
And felt kind of giddy
But my impression of all has just soared!

With so many lyrics to pass
one could say he has come to harrass
annoying at least
on our patience he feasts
I think he is quit the jack adams.

JUST KIDDING. I wanted to do that set up and switch at the end with his name.
Your the king JA i am very impressed I don’t know how you do it.
you should try to answer every thing in fluther for one day that way.

‘I just don’t understand all the flap”,
said Ben Finkel, admiring his cap,
“Just because my new bonnet
has doo-doo upon it,
why should everyone give me such crap?”

Bri_L is a joker, that’s true,
No one knows the gender. Do you?
The profile don’t say,
But I’ll guess anyway,
I think that a female will do.

September 1, 2008, 9:23 AM EDT

I like to read answers by Harp,
A dude who refuses to carp,
He knows about baking,
And also harp-making,
And could do both under a tarp!

September 1, 2008, 9:47 AM EDT

Thank you, Jack (and I mean that sincerely),
This is why I love Fluther so dearly,
Everyone has their say
At the end of the day,
And we all end up friends…OK, nearly

Who said “If it’s wrong I don’t wanna be right?”
I think I would give them a fight
For if you feel things are okay
And it is going to make your day
Then do it and worry about it tonight!

(I have no idea where that came from….and apologies that it isn’t about a flutherer…)

(Dear autumn, you can write it about whatever you’d like! Ha ha!)

Many came here from Askville, it’s true.
To seek Q&A’s that were new.
What they found was so fab
That their hearts it did grab
And now other boards they do eschew.

my gender a question, surprised
was I when those words met my eyes
i had no idea
but when I take a pee I
don’t use the girls but the guys

I’m sorry Bri_L, please believe,
That I thought you might be an Eve,
Your profile‘s not clear,
Please update it, ya hear?
And if I have offended, I’ll leave.

September 1, 2008, 11:45 AM EDT

Jack adams you’ve nothing to fear
no offensive words met my ear
I don’t mind a bit
I wont have a fit
So dont you go shed a tear

profile updated

I am glad that I did not offend,
I hope that this will be the end,
Of a lousy mistake,
I was sorry to make,
I just pray that this isn’t a trend!

September 1, 2008, 12:26 PM EDT

Oh my…you are all limerick maestros here. I am very impressed by all of you, JA and bri_l seem to have a hidden talent!

and special thanks to Bri_L for the lovely limerick about me :)

Oops, I see that the link in my rhyme
Is a picture of Andrew and I’m
feeling badly for Ben,
‘cause I laughed at him when
it was really his partner in crime.

Oh my PnL! I didn’t forget you!
We all can see the things that you do
You’re one of a kind
And it would be hard to find
Someone else who could fill your shoe(s)!

@automn43

Of my most recent bad habits
is an iconic one and that is
to see your sweet bunny
and think that its funny
to whisper that I’m hunting wabits.

(and I don’t hunt by the way. It is a cute pic)

I hope I’ll get help from you-all,
At least by the end of the Fall,
I need some advice,
Regarding DRY ICE,
I hope it’s no trouble, at all.

http://www.fluther.com/disc/21986/would-you-please-give-me-some-dry-ice-advice/

September 1, 2008, 5:53 PM EDT

JackAdams, you just need to ask.
To answer’s our favoritest task!
I’ll tell you what I know
Just as soon as I go
Take a few little sips from my flask.

McBean, I must thank you so much,
The way you emotionally touch,
This thread is ideal,
No anger, I feel,
All threads, I believe, should be such.

(Thank you for an animosity-free thread!)

When my dog has kittens, YOU GET ONE!

September 1, 2008, 8:51 PM EDT

Well I learned something new today
A dog will have kittens some way
I can’t imagine how this could be
But it will be something to see
And I would live to have one – okay?

A kitten you want you will get,
It will make a very nice pet,
With help from above,
Give it oodles of Love,
And get it some shots at the Vet!

September 1, 2008, 9:14 PM EDT

A Limerick/Ode, to the holiday over-eater (me):

I ate too much food things today,
And much later on, I will pay,
Alka-Seltzer I’ll drink,
By the gallon, I think,
And in 2 or 3 weeks, I’m OK.

September 1, 2008, 9:25 PM EDT

@JackAdams

Will it be a kitty with no fur?
Cuz most of my family will be allergic to her
They could always take a pill, if you please
So that they wouldn’t sneeze
Or I could just make them move – for sure!

A furless kitty? I’ll try,
To get one to you, by and by,
No hair on its body,
And trained how to potty,
And weaned on some bread made with Rye.

September 1, 2008, 9:31 PM EDT

65 messages here!
Who offered the posters free beer?
This thread is much fun,
And we must thank the one,
With the rose avatar, whom we cheer.

(Thanks, McBean!)

September 1, 2008, 9:39 PM EDT

of 65 posts he did write
26 and he’s not done tonight
but he may slow, true
when he learns that brew
will be bought by a check that he writes.

(you the man JackAdams)

Great idea McBean!

I drank way too much of “the foam,”
And I’d rather be sober in Rome,
But it is getting late,
And I have a “hot” date,
If I’m not in bed soon, I’ll go home!

September 1, 2008, 9:55 PM EDT

There once was a las who spoke with the wisest of tongues
Good points she did make and great conversation too
Her one weakness I must confess lies within the sweetness of chocolate treats
But one as sweet as she needs the very best chocolate indeed.

(Wonder if she knows who she is…? =])

Oh, I love chocolate treats, yes I do,
I welcome those flavors I chew,
The taste is so sweet,
It’s a wonderful treat,
And I’ll diet ‘til age 92!

September 2, 2008, 12:11 PM EDT

What to do, what to do, what to do?
Have you ever been baffled with no clue?
I can’t get things done
As they aren’t really fun
Because I’d rather be on fluther with you!

Into my office I head
To partake in something I dread.
But I’ll snack in my car
On a big chocolate bar
And I’ll smile at the things you all said.

A contract, a conference call, oh my
My work week’s begun I could cry
I much rather Fluther
Than write this RFP mother
But I guess I had better go try.

@Marina:

It’s lunchtime and I’m eating beans,
Outside, I can see a few teens,
I have a request,
And please do your best,
To tell me what “RFP” means.

September 2, 2008, 1:36 PM EDT

“Request For Proposal” it means
to those who do those things
like when a big comp’ny
seeks to pay lots of money
for a project completed for beans.

Lurve to you, PtheB, and welcome back!

I knew what RFP meant, of course, but I was asking for the benefit of others, who might not wish to publicly reveal their ignorance of such business-realted things.

September 2, 2008, 2:54 PM EDT

Noble of you, JA!

You’re right, it was. LOL

j/k

September 2, 2008, 4:20 PM EDT

This looks like so much fun I just wanted to join in. Here’s one we made at school yesterday after being required to make a role play of Buddha’s life which included an interpretive dance, a quote and a limerick.

There was one a dude called Buddha
Who lived in the Indian hooda
With his homies one day
He sat under a tree to pray
And his thinking became a lot gooder

My apologies to everyone; this is the best I could do…

There is a young gal we call “Shrub,”
Who spends lots of time in the tub,
She hides all her troubles,
‘Neath mountains of bubbles,
While eating from plates filled with grub.

September 2, 2008, 6:36 PM EDT

There is a wonderful lady called Gail,
She knows so much without travail,
When she grand-enters Fluther,
She sparkles like no other,
That blilliantly omniscient Gail.

There once was a newbie confused
Our patience said newbie abused
When they spoke of a tool
Under some swimming pool
Somehow the word “frizzer” was used

Good morning to all who enter here
It’s the first day of school, I fear
When mothers are happy
And kids say “this is crappy!”
And in the end, everything becomes clear

no one likes first day of school :(

I always loved the first day of school -both as a student and as a mother.

@ cyndyh – I loved it as a student. As a parent my kids are to young and I am to new as a parent to love it. I miss my little ones!!!!

Bri, they’ll be back home in a few hours. :^>

The kids are now home from school
The list of supplies is so cool!
The price I will pay
For this list from today
Makes my wallet say “this is just cruel!”

My children are now grown and happy
And I know this is gonna to sound sappy
But I’d love a grandchild
Running around wild
Just don’t ask me to change its nappy. :^>

@ cyndyh – thanks ! hehe

I am glad I do not have a child,
Who like me, would be wilder than wild,
I could just hear him say,
To my face, every day,
“I’m like you; I get mean when I’m riled!”

September 3, 2008, 5:02 PM EDT

Mom said, “Beware what you do,
Or you’ll have a child just like you!”
But I didn’t heed
and continued the deed
And as it turned out I had two.

My son is a beautiful boy.
To behold’m while he’s sleeping’s a joy.
But when he’s awake
Oh – the messes he’ll make -
And my sanity he does destroy!

“Messes,” as in dirty diapers?

LOL

September 3, 2008, 5:14 PM EDT

Oh, no. We’re way past that, thank God.

But I just found one of his used, bunched-up socks on a bookshelf.

Sing the following to the tune of, “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer® Wiener”

Oh, I’m glad no girl,
Took seriously, my wiener,
That’s something,
I’d never wish to seeeeeee,
‘Cause if she ever took it,
As she wanted,
I’d have a kid,
And he’d call me, “Daddy!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNddW2xmZp8

September 3, 2008, 5:19 PM EDT

There was a fella named Adams, Jack
Who could quickly limerick, and it wasn’t smack
He would write one, two or three
Just so perfectlee
And no one thought he was a hack!

That’s great, autumn! You’re right about JA. He’s a quick one! <tapping head with index finger>

He’s so good with words that it’s scary.
I’ve asked, but he’s not one to marry.
I could listen for days
to the things that he says
This is no average Tom, Dick, or Harry!

For McBean & Autumn:

I’m flattered by every kind word,
Which I read aloud, so they’re heard,
Your remarks are so nice,
I must read them twice,
‘Cause they make my heart soar like a bird.

September 3, 2008, 10:10 PM EDT

There’s no one with whom I can talk,
It’s too dark to go for a walk,
I wish someone was here,
To lend me an ear,
And chat with me in the boondock…

September 4, 2008, 1:21 AM EDT

Well sorry you seemed so alone
Was there no one to talk with by phone?
It’s good to make calls
When staring at walls
And then the night doesn’t seem to drone….

What I have, many call a “cell phone”
Expensive to use, when alone,
Each minute I yack,
Is more money I lack,
‘Cause I pay for each one, when I drone.

September 4, 2008, 8:23 AM EDT

Sometimes talking to oneself seems to work
Although others think it’s a quirk
You talk and you listen
Then you don’t know what you’re missin’
And at least you aren’t talking to a jerk!

9/4/08 8:34 EDT

I’ve talked to myself many times,
While sucking on drinks made with limes,
Some people’d give stares,
At this man with no cares,
Who they THOUGHT might be planning some crimes.

September 4, 2008, 8:40 AM EDT

Planning crimes? I really doubt that
But how would I know? you could be a burglar cat
With an avatar of ‘wanted’ men
Who knows where you’ve been
However, you’re most likely just saying that for chat.

9/4/08 8:57 AM EDT (gotta get back to work so there wasn’t much thought there!) (no kidding, huh?)

I can’t fool you, though I tried,
But please do not think I have lied,
I write for my bread,
Which I’ll do ‘til I’m dead,
Planning crimes is all done in my head.

September 4, 2008, 9:02 AM EDT

First, listen to the Theme from Bat Materson

Then, apply these words, to what you heard:

I used to think, as a young man,
That I would write, that was my plan,
I’d grab a pen with my right hand,
And create words,
The way I can…

September 4, 2008, 9:10 AM EDT

Do you think people talk like they text-write?
Like “Sup people! what’s to bite?”
Or is it more in form
Of what is surely the norm
Like “Hey! What’s for dinner tonight?”

You’ll notice I’m planning on fish
for tonight, but I’ll tell you I wish
That I had enough money
To hire a honey
To do laundry and wash every dish.

I saw your question about cod
And I didn’t even think it was odd
As someone who doesn’t eat fish
I say “do as you wish!”
Because at least it is better than sod!

9/4/08 5:20 PM

For McBean:

There’s a way to stop washing those dishes,
It has something to do, with those fishes,
Take a cruise where you’ll meet,
A new man, who is neat,
And he’ll grant you most all of your wishes.

September 4, 2008, 5:58 PM EDT

For Autumn:

Nobody can text as they talk,
And maybe can’t write, when they walk,
To message, My Love,
Takes great skill from above,
And that’s something that we should not knock.

September 4, 2008, 6:09 PM EDT

For JackAdams:

Your idea sounds too good to be true;
To meet such a man, impromptu
Would mean risking some danger
And trusting a stranger.
But it would be a fun rendevouz.

For Autumn:
Some uses of texting are dumb
And cause grievous harm to the thumb.
But the writing we do here
(If any are new here)
Is stellar and quite premium.

For McBean:

A cruise is a great way to meet,
A gal just like You? What a treat!
I would love to go sailing,
With you, by the railing,
And dinner at 8 would be neat!

September 4, 2008, 6:58 PM EDT

Oh my heavens you two need to go!
If I have to, I’ll even row!
It’s never too late
For a flutherized date
And after dinner you could even see a show!

9/4/08 7:16 PM

I don’t know if we would see a show,
To my cabin, I think we might go,
For an intimate date,
Is more fun with a mate,
Who enjoys having men who are s-l-o-w…

September 5, 2008, 3:16 AM EDT

Well! I have no idea what to say!
I didn’t realize you’d go right to “play.”
We’ll see if McBean likes your idea
Or runs away, in total fear
If so, I’ll give you the number for Lashay (??)

9/5/08 6:28 AM

Now, while Jack Adams does make me smile,
More than anyone has in a while,
I am prudent and shy
With this sort of a guy..
Until we’re on that tropical isle.

Ah, flirting, it is so much fun,
With someone who won’t turn and run,
Let’s find that lone isle,
Where we’ll stay for awhile,
And the rest of the world, we can shun.

September 5, 2008, 9:25 AM EDT

I guess it is time to leave for this bun
As I wouldn’t want to jump the gun
By saying “Bon voyage you two friends!”
We’ll see how it ends
Besides, I can’t get too much sun!

The following is inspired by http://www.fluther.com/disc/22256/what-do-you-do-with-your-chewing-gum-when-youre-done/

Oh, what shall I do with my gum?
Should I stick it on top of my thumb?
Should I toss it away,
As I go out to play,
Heading off to my gymnasium?

September 5, 2008, 11:12 AM EDT

Sometimes when I asked for bubble gum
Mom would say “Go chew your bum”
Whatever that meant
The message it sent
Made me realize I never wanted some!

9/4/08 12:15 PM

Dear Autumn, your mother was cruel.
Chew your bum? Did she think you a fool?
Unless she could teach
How your bum you could reach
With your teeth, it was pure ridicule!

Alas – I wasn’t a gum OR bum chewer!
And cruel? Nothing could be truer!
But my Mom said way back then
She didn’t want us to wear dentures by ten
And she also said “Don’t drink from the sewer!” (no she didn’t)

9/4/08 12:40 PM

For Autumn:

Your post was indeed very “yucky,”
But it showed that you are very plucky,
I read what you say,
Almost every day,
And consider myself very lucky!

September 5, 2008, 12:45 PM EDT

For Jack:

Well, I am so humbled at that gushing!
This hare is continually brushing
Daily at will,
Of word, rhyme and skill
Of yours, I am truly blushing!

9/4/08 5:41 PM

That Jack! He really is clever!
Fast and smooth, he, with every endeavor.
Writes a hell of a rhyme –
– No one’s more sublime –
He’ll surely write limericks forever!

You ladies do flatter me so,
And men sometimes blush, that you know,
Our faces turn red,
As we cover our head,
And run off saying, “Gee, I must go!”

September 6, 2008, 10:33 AM EDT

Good morning to all on this Saturday morn!
It’s a hot day and shorts will be worn.
The air is so thick
And I feel kinda sick
I think I will head out to buy corn!

(like this wasn’t corny enough….)

9/6/08 11:23 AM

Ah, shorts, they are so nice to view,
Because of the one thing they do,
They reveal some great limbs,
That attract all the “hims,”
And get whistles (a kind of “review”).

September 6, 2008, 11:38 AM EDT

It’s turning out, here, to be sunny.
And I wouldn’t mind, but it’s funny…
The shorts that I wear
Are all covered in hair!
I think they belong to the bunny ^!

(Autumn, I think that maybe you have my shorts by mistake!)

For McBean:

Of your legs, well, I must be confessin’
I would give them a lot of caressin’
I’d prize them all day,
And please let me say,
I would sure want the shavin’ concession!

September 6, 2008, 2:01 PM EDT

It has started to rain from a storm called Hanna
It makes it feel tropical; I want a banana
I won’t explain why
As rain falls from the sky
That my hair looks like Roseanne Rosannadanna!

For Autumn:

I hope you’re not caught in that storm,
And where you are, is safe and warm,
But if you’re in harm’s way,
Look right at it and say,
“Hey! You want me to use chloroform?”

September 6, 2008, 2:45 PM EDT

@ Jack:

No, my legs are not covered in hair!
It’s the shorts that I’ve chosen to wear.
I should have said “fur”
To be clear, my fine sir.
But better fur shorts than fur underwear.

Dear Autumn,

The storm can be scary and wet
And destructive, as storms tend to get.
So I hope you are clad
In a raincoat of plaid
And galoshes, then you’ll be all set!

I’m lucky, as we will get just rain
For others, the wind is the pain
For they have to run and hide
From a scary, rising tide
I just have to watch through the windowpane

9/6/08 05:13 PM

Oh my these limericks look as if shared only by three!
Where is everyone one else for only two girls and a Jack I see!
Come on everybody lets get to writing!
These three are taking up all the typing!

=]

I’ve enjoyed many 3-somes, you see,
Just 2 ladies (for writing!), and me,
But I’m sorry to say,
Real exhausting, are they,
They sap most of my own energy!

September 6, 2008, 6:28 PM EDT

We would welcome another contender
on our limerick board (a never-ender).
We invite – at this time –
All those liking to rhyme,
Regardless of background or gender!

A new friend I’ve made today
a fluther crush if I may say
for she’s smart and she’s bright
deep with insight
McBean, you the catch of the day

Sweet! I always like to see things people write!
In the morning, afternoon, or middle of the night.
There’s room for more
Of that I am sure!
It’s windy! I think I’ll go fly a kite!

9/6/08 6:54 PM

(Just joking!!!)

For Bri_L:

I object, my dear friend, to your post,
It’s McBean, whom I do love the most,
Take up sword if you may,
Try to take her away,
For her love, I will fight coast-to-coast!

(Just joking!!!)

September 6, 2008, 6:55 PM EDT

McBean you’re one lucky lass!
The things being said – such a gas.
We can’t be called lazy
Certainly – crazy!
But this is one question I will not pass!

9/6/08 7:04 PM

Awwww…That’s so sweet, fellas!

Please stop all this sparring for me!
Someone’s bound to get hurt, don’t you see?
But I must admit –
If the fighting you’ll quit –
That I’m flattered as flattered could be!

Some people might find such things riling.
But just so you know, I am smiling
If I had to choose,
It’d be I who would lose.
Because both Bri and Jack are beguiling.

Oh, Autumn, I’m lucky as sin.
What a fabulous fix to be in.
I should let you look
In the “little black book”
That I’m using to cover my grin.

For Bri_L:

My friend, here is what we will do,
Solve this problem, for you and me, too,
Our magic friend Criss,
Will divide up this Miss,
Half for me, and the rest just for you.

September 6, 2008, 7:11 PM EDT

@Jack: Ouch!

Don’t worry! It’s a NEW saw!

September 6, 2008, 7:13 PM EDT

Whew! That makes me feel much better.

Can you believe that we’re past 1–4-7?
McBean is in Limerick Heaven!
To have started this thread,
And to see it’s not dead,
I look forward to post 9–11!

September 6, 2008, 7:18 PM EDT

@ JA

a lass my thoughts fill with dread
on your tail i did not mean to tread
while my feelings not changed
I shall rearrange
and wink at cute Bunny instead!

(bunny icon = autumn)

FYI: the limerick was dedicated to a fluther crush as a by product of a post by McBean. One of pure poetry:

“I have always fallen in love with a witty, intelligent mind. And while I enjoy pretty people, looks are not what keep me engaged. I’ve been caught off guard many times, discovering I’d fallen for someone who was not at all “my type” because I so loved their mind, their wit (VERY IMPORTANT) and their presence.
I think that most women (and men) will fall for people who
1.) are interesting and interested
2.) appreciate their most cherished traits and talents (in other words, sincerely appreciate and enjoy them)
3.) are comfortable with themselves
4.) share common interests and/or similar views of the world
5.) possess varying degrees of physical attractiveness
Regarding physical attraction: It means different things to different people and will sometimes depend on how many of the other qualities listed above you exhibit.
For instance, you may be willing to forgive a woman’s extra weight if she makes you laugh, makes you feel good, and is intellectually engaging; whereas the extra weight would put you off if she were somber and had poor hygiene – no matter how smart or interesting. (The converse is true as well: You may fall for a piece of dumb fluff with an angel face and a Baywatch body, forgiving the fact that she often uses double negatives and thinks college is a bunch of pictures arranged in an attractive manner.)
The best answer is for you to decide what’s important to you in a mate and to exhibit those qualities to the best of your ability. e.g. Stay healthy, be kind, and learn to like yourself if you want someone like that. Like attracts like more often than opposites attract.”

That’s a woman.

My time/date stamp’s now gone away,
Where could it have gone, did you say?
It is still here to see,
But ONLY by me,
With new software installed just today!

Holy moly I’m all aflutter
Of the compliments smooth as butter
When you read them twice
They’re just as nice
And to be without them – Oh, I would shudder!

9/6/08 8:05 PM

A time stamp I do not have for me
So I copied JackAdams, happily
But now he says he hides his
With software – whatever that is
I’ll still put one on for all to see

9/6/08 8:06 PM

I love this whole communicate through rhyme
It is so catchy and passes the time
Not to mention it gets the brain goin
And all the great people you start to get to knowin

Im sitting here at the screen
Trying not to scream
For you see Im procrastinating
Because of all this homework I must be doing
Something for Art, and something for English
All of this to do and almost no time to finish!

Jack I am sorry it’s gone
I’ve enjoyed it there for so long
how you answer’s your choice
for it is your voice
and for others to edit, it’s wrong!

ps what software?

Autumn, my heart is a flutter
when I see you I think of no other
your icon is cute
your answers astute
I just added you to my fluther!

The software attaches an “invisible” time/date stamp to everything I post in here, but only I can see it, and only on my own computer. Even Ben and Andrew cannot see it.

For example, my previous post has September 6, 2008, 7:41 PM EDT at the end of it, but only I am able to see that.

Neat, yes?

Big time yes!

I had it imported from the computer engineers on my home planet, QUERTZL, where I was born.

I’ve been sitting here thinking and thinking
And the cursor is blinking and blinking
But my brain is in a fog
It’s like it has a clog
So I think that I will just start drinking.

9/6/08 9:09 PM (my personal software timestamp) (you can’t see it)

Have you ever noticed that, on this site, some who moderate, are not moderate enough?

Is that a trick question? My brain really is in a fog. And maybe I just haven’t been here long enough to answer. So why don’t I shut up now?

9/6/08 9:15 PM

My dear friend Autumn:

Your time/date stamps are going to get you a lot of enemies on this website.

Most people on here are not as intelligent and as mature as you and I are, and that is why they are emotionally unable to deal with them.

Just a word to the VERY wise…

Oh. thanks for telling me. I usually am the last to know. :0)

And at this moment, I have no limerick for it.

It’s OK if you are stumped for words,
But some folks in here are some real [bad word]s
So don’t tick them off,
And to them do not scoff.,
Or they’ll come after you in large herds!

Well for my blunder I do apologize
I had no idea it would offendize
I will try and be good
In the fluther neighborhood
I am a dumb bunny who can be wise!

A “dumb bunny” is fun on a date,
Sometimes saying, “Oh boy! I can’t wait!”
She is trusting and kind,
And she won’t ever mind,
If you keep her at your place real late!

(Just kidding Jack)

Hold on now there Mr. Jack Adams
Or’ McBean I believe we were at’m
then I grew wise
to the bunny ‘for my eyes
and now your a hitt’n on that’n

Oh Autumn it twood seem to be true
the date does upset one or two
as does a joke
at the wrong time if spoke
so with light a foot use if you do

We can stop all this talk of the question
without giving ourselves indegestion.
Of who’ll be with whom
If we’re sharing a room –
Being a 4-some is my <cough> suggestion.

Said primarily for Bri, who has been very intrigued by the references to naughty fantasies on this Q

A 4-some? My Gawd, that is cool!
And breaks a commandment or rule,
Didn’t know you’d do THAT,
So please grab your hat,
And we’ll head off to old Liverpool!

Well a date that is what we will call
lets get going, we’ll all have a ball
two girls and two guys
will fly friendly skies
and end up having fun one and all

Hmm all this talk of a big date
It sounds so nice and quaint
But I can not resist but to think mischief afoot
Two guys and two gals how nicely put
But perhaps you could invite one more couple on this journey
Im sure me and Uberbatman would find it quite merry.

The more the merrier they say.

Well, I can’t believe what I’m reading!
Your imaginations someone’s been feeding.
Four, three or two
I can’t go – boohoo!
I have to get outside and start weeding!

We must change the subject, I feel,
To something of better appeal,
Please don’t get me wrong,
“Cause yes, I do long,
For sex, which I think is ideal!

Good morning JackAdams!

Salutations, Autumn!

Are there REALLY 42 more of you, at home?

get a room all of you :P
kidding. this is like the best question ever.

Hey, Shrub!

What didja think of the limerick I wrote about you?

Or should I ask?

I loved it, thankyou very much. If only I actually had a bath tub in this house instead of just a shower… sigh. But I couldn’t come up with any of my own, I’m afraid. I’m no good at them.

Limericks in here do not have to be “good,” or most of mine would probably be deleted.

JackAdams don’t be so humble,
Your limericks are more than a mumble,
They are ever so grand,
You should have your own marching band,
For in writing limericks you never fumble.

um. ok. no more for me :P

Shrub, your comments are well beyond measure,
Your friendship is something I treasure.
I would like to do,
Something special for you,
And buy you a tub for your pleasure!

Oh jack how very kind you are!
But from you to me is way too far
To send it to me
Would incur a very large fee
And I wouldn’t want you to dig into your money jar

Happy to meet you, Miss Shrub!
I’m sorry to hear about your tub
I have one to use
But alas, I refuse
Because there’s three men in it – rub-a-dub-dub!

If I could, I would send you that tub,
And would ship it from a Wal-Mart hub,
It would give me much glee,
To send it to thee,
To soak in all day, Lady Shrub.

Oh my lordy I hope that’s not true!
That could be quite awkward for you
Actually it could be nice
To join them, if for a price
Or lock them in there so they get the flu

Would you send it across the ocean?
Would it survive the rocking motion?
To another continent
Upside down and funny accent
Or is that just a silly notion?

For Shrub:

Do you live in the land of the “Roo?”
Shipping there would be too much to do!
I’ll think of a way,
To gift you some day,
With something John Laws would like, too!

Note to those who do not know:

John Laws is a popular and controversial talk show host in Sydney, on Radio 2UE.

He has thousands of loyal fans, and as many detractors.

He is Australia’s equivalent of RUSH LIMBAUGH

I laughed out loud at your comment
John Laws is one controversial gent’
Some good things he can say
But devil’s advocate is his way
And his talk show Australians does misrepresent

dear me I suck at limericks :P

For this tub problem, I have a plan!
It involves a tub and a man.
Jack – get in the tub with some oars
And row ‘til you reach Aussie shores
There! Now deliver the tub as best you can!

John Laws is a funny old bloke,
And many a time he’s mis-spoke,
But I do like the guy,
And I hope he’ll not die,
At least, not until he is broke!

For Autumn:

You have come up with a good plan,
On rowing, I am not the man,
I can’t do that task,
Someone else I will ask,
But it will NOT be shipped from Iran!

I suppose he can be quite funny
I prefer Laurie Oakes. As for money
I heard Lawsie was in trouble
But maybe it was just a rumour bubble
But he is definitely not sweet as honey!

I am a seasoned rower.
I could be less slower
I could row over to you
collect what is due
and row home faster than you throw-a

Dedicated to SHRUB:

We MUST get a tub to this Lass!
Who wishes to sit on her [bad word],
In a tub that is fine,
She can say, “This is MINE!”
And get clean, with a whole lot of class!

That would be marvelously divine
And my skin all over would shine
For my muscles do ache
And a soak would make
Better my rowing and longer my life line!

Jack, I miss your time and date stamp, it was like a signature. Will you please tell me what time it is where you are now? It is 11:34pm here.

Dedicated to those WONDERFUL AUSTRALIANS:

I much love the Aussies, I do,.
Who dwell in the land of the “Roo,”
Where topless girls sun,
At the beach, having fun,
And some blow on a Didgeridoo

9:34 AM here, EDT Sunday morning, 9–7-08

Please note that one LIKED my time stamp,
And I’m sure that she was NOT a vamp,
See? My time served a need,
For one NOT on “the weed,”
And I doubt that her brain had a cramp.

Oh dear me you forgot vegemite
And the pineapple of great height
But thankyou for the love
From you up above
And yes, Bondi is quite a sight!

Dedicated to all Aussies:

The best place in Oz I have found,
Is Kings Cross, where ”bookstores” abound,
Theyre “racy,” for sure,
And not at all “pure,”
When there, I am always spellbound.

Only once have I been to King’s Cross,
In the daytime though our eyes we did toss
Away from the clubs
And away from the pubs
My parents did rush, back then, as to why I was at a loss

No offense to any Aussies:

Oh Vegemite, I do eschew,
And most Yanks agree with me, too,
It is sold in my town,
When we see it, we frown,
We would much rather drink our shampoo.

It’s true that Vegemite is an acquired taste
I admit that it is a funny paste
We eat it from a young age
It’s significance Yanks cannot gauge
Eat in moderation, not haste!

Can you believe I hadn’t actually watched the clip for that song before? How very un-Australian of me!

For shame! LOL

I like this one better. It doesn’t have an official clip but that one there is pretty damn amazing.

A question for Shrub:

I’ve been all around, here to Dover,
And looked in the eyes of a Plover,
But I need to ask you,
And please answer true,
Do you call US “the Land of Up-Over?”

(The opposite of “Down-Under” would be “Up-Over”)

I’m sorry I interrupted your flirting
Poor McBean must be hurting
She can have you back
Our dear old Jack
For now I must close the curtain

It is bed time for little old I
In a few hours light will be the sky
Today, Bryce Courtenay I will meet
An Aussie (and South African, even better!) I look up to, how neat!
Goodnight you lovelies, goodbye

And Jack, I’m afraid we do not
“America” is all we have got
That would be fun
I’ll make it catch on
Now off to bed I must trot

I wonder: Where is our McBean?
For today, she has not been seen,
I hope she’s OK,
And she’ll come here to play,
Might she be on a big submarine?

For Shrub:

I note that you mentioned a guy,
Called Bryce you did identify,
That’s the name of one here,
But to me it’s not near,
It’s a CANYON, I must specify.

That canyon is incredibly pretty
Nature is so much better than the city
But that author’s tales
Moved me like a gale
Now I really must go snooze with my kitty

How I wish I could stay
And play all day
But awake I must be
To talk to he
The author with the canyon’s name

Have you read The Power of One? Most amazing book ever.

Shrubbery and I contemplated
the net and were both elated
that while ‘cross the sea
she talked to me
and instantly I was updated

To talk with The Shrub is a joy,
And even more fun, she’s no boy,
To chat with that Lass,
Is really a gas,
A friendship time cannot destroy.

I do the best that I can
to write limericks for all of my fans
but jack does it best
me, a red breast
robin to him the bat man

@shrubbery

Oh, my lord! Please! With Jacky I share.
But he can be fiesty – beware!
And while I’ve never met him
I suggest: never bet him
‘Cause he’ll do anything on a dare.

Wow! What a party I missed!
A word fest that seems to persist!
Just one limerick is great
But we’ve far passed eighty-eight
Writing limericks we cannot resist!

So sorry to have missed all of you.
I had so many errands to do!
And my son needs his mother
So I stayed off of fluther
And I’m leaving again ~~ toodle-loo!

I’ll be back! (said like my governor)

Well, I’ve been asleep, as my head was aching
Banana bread I wanted to be baking
I caught a summer cold
At this point, it’s old
And I want to get back to limerick making!

McBean is OK, for right now,
But it is almost time for my chow,
I will eat at my desk,
Watching movies, burlesque,
And when she comes back, I’ll yell “WOW!”

a game for three it’s become
all my limericks, seem to me, dumb
I give up the quest,
I gave it my best
my part in this thread, it is done

You guys are great at this.

Gosh, you guys are really good at this. I’ll think about my limerick and post it later.

Please do! We’d love to read it!

I know of a girl called Allie
She is the princess of Cali
She’ll do anything for honey
Even steal your money
But her heart is bigger than a valley

<4

For the clever Bri_L:

Bri_L, please don’t run off today,
I hope that you’ll decide to stay,
We sure need your wit,
Without it, we’re [bad word],
I might even be willing to PAY!

Aww, PnL.. I like it. <4

:)

For the lovely & talented PnL:

PnL moderates very fair,
But some folks, they get in her hair,
It’s hard to please all,
As we head into fall,
But she does it with such a great flair!

And another for her:

To moderate is really tough,
But PnL has “the right stuff,”
She does it real well,
As we all can tell,
She could do it alone, in the buff!

Oh you can’t leave now, Bri_L!
“We need you here!” I yell
For even though we’re good
And do the Limericks like we should
We need others to keep doing it well!

For Allie:

I’m glad Allie’s come to this thread,
It’s something no one here will dread,
We will all start to clap,
When she’s done with her nap,
And we’ll find out what’s inside her head!

I still poke my head in here reading
To see how this thread is proceeding
So far I’ve been sad
I have not much to add
I can’t finding anything that you’re needing

JackAdams, lurve for use of ”[bad word]” above. :^>

Since I am now wide awake,
A limerick it is time to make,
It won’t be the best,
But the first is a test,
Maybe the next will be a piece of cake.

More for BRi_L:

I agree with what Autumn has writ,
We need Bri_L’s remarkable wit,
A man who‘s no snob,
And is liked by THIS slob,
With US, he does certainly FIT!

Oh Cyndyh, I’m so glad you’re here,
We’ll read all your lines without fear,
If that was a test,
It was one of the best,
I have read in the past freaking year!

Oh, JackAdams, how sweet you are!
I’ve admired you so from afar
From my head I’ll try
Some limericks to pry
But we all see that you are the star!

I should be cutting out code,
But right now I’m in limerick mode,
Apparently so is Jack,
He writes them back to back,
From the comfort of his lovely abode.

Allie & Cyndyh are here!
Let’s all give them both a loud cheer!
We’re in for a treat,
From two ladies so sweet,
We’ll send Autumn out to buy beer!

Hey! I can’t go buy beer!
I’m not old enough, didn’t you hear?
In bunny years I’m young
So I stick out my tongue
And say drink something else for good cheer!

Beer sounds like such a nice treat,
Now we need some pizza to eat,
The two go together so nice,
Now pass me a slice,
And I’ll munch away in my seat.

Oh no! I’m about to be late,
Tonight I’m going out on a date,
I’ll be back in a few,
With more limericks for you,
Which might take me some time to create.

And why am I so dispensible?
With this brain, I am really sensible.
I could call up, I think
To have them deliver the drink
We can then all imibe until we’re indefensible!

(hard word to rhyme there….and with that – I bid you all good night!)

Our Autumn can still buy the beer,
With money we give her, right here,
She can go a place,
And they’ll be no disgrace,
Just say “root” to the lovely cashier!

I thank you for those words Jack
I was gone for a snack
But I am happy to be thought of as fair
Alas it’s time to leave this lair
For I have studying to do and books to attack

Hey Allie, have fun on your date,
Perhaps he will keep you out late,
If he buys a great dinner,
He MUST be a winner,
As long as you do not gain weight!

Thank you for all the support
I was feeling a bit out of sorts
So after I whined
for attention I pined
And got some from my cool co-horts

Allie, your limericks they give me the chills
for the blues they are just the pills
they roll off the tounge
they are always fun
lets face it, you have some mad skills

JackAdams and Autumn thank you
I was bumming and you saw me through
Im back and Im down
to get limericks on
and I dedicate them all to you

Hooray! Bri_L’s back in the fold!
He’ll author some Limericks bold,
To the world he will show,
That he isn’t a Schmo,
And we’ll “help” him to spend all his Gold!

Autumn:

Lurve for use of the word “indefensible”
You made it so comprehensible
With us please stay
“Dispensable” he didn’t say
The remark was only ostensible

that was harder than I thought it’d be

Help! I took a hell of a nap!
And my brain is now working like cr@p
But I’m so glad that there
Are so many who share
This great love of the limerick rap!

I honestly can’t get my brain to work! Why do naps do that to you?

McBean:

A nap puts your brain to sleep too,
And you saw some logs, yes you do,
While you rest, you recover,
And dream of a lover,
Who takes you to Kalamazoo!

My mind is still feeling quite foggy!
And my muscles, unusually soggy.
Though I needed the rest
I cannot be my best
When I’m dizzy, slow-witted, and groggy.

(Hey! I didn’t have any good dreams like that! I feel cheated!)

For McBean:

Try coffee with lotsa caffeine,
It’ll wake you right up; you’ll feel keen,
With a smile on your face,
You will soon take your place,
In the world, as the refreshed McBean!

Bri_L is back!!!!!!!!!

I love it, to see that red pitcher,
In spirit, we’ll all be much richer,
‘Cause Bri_L’s back here,
And there’s nothing to fear,
Please excuse me, I must scratch an itcher!

For Jack adams lyrics I falls
his stories I reads them alls
but now he’s got itches
i hopes its his britches
and not that he’s scratchen his head

Bryce Courtenay a wonderful man is he
Gave me a hug and a kiss for free
Signed my book without fail
And sends another through the mail
I don’t know if you understand how much this means to me!

I know not who Byce courtenay is
a shrubbery hugging gee whiz
he’s one lucky guy
I bet flying high
Lets hope he don’t give her the biz

Sounds like our Shrub has a crush,
On an author who gives her a rush,
He took just one look,
Then signed in her book,
And THAT must have caused her to blush!

For Bri-L:

The itch has been scratched, yes-siree,
No longer will it bother me,
I did not find ants,
Crawling inside my pants,
I’ve been put out of my misery!

Shrub tell us about this BC
Who gives hugs and kisses for free
What does he write?
What’s this writer’s plight?
I haven’t heard of him, you see?

That author is Bryce Courtenay
And writing is what brings him pay,
It’s no pseudonym,
And Shrub does like him,
She might say more about him, today.

He was born in South Africa you see,
To Australia he moved and gained residency
A citizen he became
And rose to fame
Writing stories that move us deeply

He writes from the heart and soul
It’s hard to keep your emotions in control
When reading a tale
Tears and laughs prevail
And they are deeply stirring on the whole

Seriously, make the next book you read be The Power of One.
I can’t put this in a limerick without losing meaning so I’ll just tell you, he’s a wonderful speaker and very very passionate, especially about the environment. He helped start a fairly new organisation in Tasmania which is aiming to provide scholarships to students to start projects out in the wilderness to research and collect data in an effort to preserve the environment, especially our 700 endangered species. And Bryce Courtenay also said that he’s travelled all over the world but his answer is always the same when asked what’s the most beautiful place he’s ever seen; Tasmania. Let me know if you want to see pictures. Sorry for hijacking this thread and not even putting this in limericks!

I hope you all have a great day
Out and about to work and play
I am off school
Which is ever so cool
So I can play and not work, hooray!

Shrub, is this OK?

The Power of One, you should read,
Each word that’s inside, you should heed,
The book will enlighten,
And won’t ever frighten,
A place on your shelf, it will need.

JackAdams I must thank you
For doing what I could not do
Your words are right
The book is quite
An amazing thing it’s true

But don’t read the plot summary on wiki if you’re planning on reading the book :P

The plot summary on Wiki is misleading, is it?

It’s too in depth and gives everything away. Not that it’s really one of those books that has a big twist or anything like that, but you might not get the same emotions out of it if you know what’s coming, if you get what I mean.

Understood. Thanks for the warning.

Shrub, can you give me your opinion on this one? Did I mention some good landmarks? Thanks!

To Hobart I‘d go, just for fun,
And maybe climb Mt. Wellington,
I would ride a cruise ship,
On my Tasmanian trip,
And at Sullivan’s Cove, I’d get sun.

Well done my dear Jay-Ay!
The best sights you indeed display
There are plenty more
I’ve got photos galore
I’ll go and compile a nice array

I can’t think of anything to write
And I’m off to work; still seems like night
So I’ll just say ‘happy day!’
To all who come this way
Now in PJs I go to work- such a fright!

Thanks, Shrub!

Please share all the sights of your land,
I’m sure that each one of them’s grand,
Salamanca and Strahan,
Would be part of my game plan,
Show a DEVIL, it’s what I demand!

Here are some while you wait
Most of those photos I did take
I’m collecting some more
It’s not a chore
I’ll be back with your devil, mate!

Here our Tasman Cliffs are depicted
And Port Arthur for the convicted
The Windfarm is beaut
Echidna’s are cute
But don’t touch them or you’ll be pricked!

Here is our dear Mount Welly
The view from the top is just swelly

The Airwalk attracts
With little impact
On the environment and the valley

Cradle Mountain also attracts
Hikers who are well packed
For varying weather
With jackets of feather
To climb up is a special act

Hastings Caves are fun for all
And Wineglass Bay does enthral
Here is Sandy Bay
Where I walked along today
To my friend I did drop a call

And the devil, well here you go
The rainforest grows quite slow
And I can’t rhyme for these cause I don’t know exactly where they are I’m sorry :P

(Mike Calder is one of my teacher’s husband)

Wow! How beautiful! Thanks for sharing! (I like Wineglass Bay.)

That’s okay!
How are you today?

The fog is lifting from my brain
I no longer feel a sinus drain
The sun is shining
There is no more whining
And I am feeling more and more sane!

@ Shrubbery – thanks so much for sharing and you should send him your limerick.

Shrub, here’s a Limerick about the coastline of Tasmania:

Tasmania’s coast is not sandy,
There’s no place to sun that is handy,
With craggy cliffs there,
No place to get bare,
And tan my hide, whilst sipping brandy!

Shrub:

I love all those photos you share,
Your homeland, I must declare,
It’s a truly nice place,
I would really embrace,
Send me money to get there by air!

Shrub:

That Devil you sent is so cute!
To see him, I’d pay lots of loot,
How can something so small,
Of my body he’d maul,
Is he truly a real vicious brute?

Shrub:

A Devil, I think I could tame,
And I’d give him a very cute name,
I’d raise him from birth,
And expose him to mirth,
I would try to teach him not to maim!

Bri_L, let’s jet down to see Shrub,
She’ll feed us some good Aussie grub,
We can take along two,
And I think you know who,
Would go with us to a Hobart pub.

I love all this participation!
I love all this talk of vacation!
Though I caught Autumn’s cold
And I’m feeling quite old
Each of you is a Limerick Sensation!

Dear Autumn, are you feeling much better?
Can I get you a blanket and sweater?
This cold numbs your poor noggin’
And prevents dialogue-in’
And it makes your small nosie much redder.

Jack Adams, your idea is great
On Qantas we’ll make our escape
down under we’ll go
on walkabout, yo
to meet up with our new found mate!

I hope Autumn gets well real soon,
At least, by the next harvest moon,
We all love her words,
Those who don’t, are just [bad word]s,
Hey! Let’s take her to old Saskatoon!

For Bri-L:

He thought he could not write in rhyme,
But he does it so well, all the time,
His last one is proof,
That he’s very aloof,
And I bet he does GREAT pantomime!

Bri-L, lettuce get on that jet!
The ladies will go, I will bet,
We shall fly down to there,
Aboard QANTAS Air,
Have you bought 4 tickets for us, yet?

Indee sir the purchase I’ve made
and window seats managed to save
a derigidoo
a platapuss too
we and the girls will make waves

Sweet! I’m already packing!
Forget this cold and the hacking.
I know it would be fun – der!
To go to the land down under!
Just one question. Where would we be shacking?

@McBean

I’m sorry you caught my darn cold
However, you certainly don’t look very old!
Here’s tissues and VapoRub
Get better so we can visit Shrub
We’re heading out on a trip – so I’m told!

For Autumn:

Of “shacking” here is my reply,
I guess a hotel we will try,
But camping is nice,
And it just might suffice,
It is fun to sleep under the sky!

For Autumn & McBean:

I must mention, to not be remiss,
To engage in some hypothesis,
There’s much shopping to do,
Spending dollars on you,
Will our friend Bri_L PAY for all this?

alas I’m afraid I cannot
I would like to help out quite a lot
I’ll see what I can do
to help all of you
in the mean time get building our yaght

I’m not very good at making things
But like the feeling of joy that it brings
I have some wood and nails
And probably some sheets for sails
How about we name it “Limerick Kings”?

Bri_L

I think you have misspelled the “yacht,”
But your message I think that I “gacht,”
I know WHERE you can go,
To get LOTS of dough,
To the OTB place you must “tracht!”

(OTB = “Off Track Betting”)

For Autumn:

Please put away hammer and nails,
Put the pointed things back in their pails,
Bri_L may be a clown
But he’ll NACHT let us down,
He will get rich by using the mails!

@ Jack Adams: THOSE RULE!

I couldn’t stop laughing at them. Excellent job, very funny. I lost my breath. hehe.

They were so funny. I could see they were wrong but couldn’t figure them out and the phone rang and I hit the wrong button.

Glad you like them, Sir!

I was just trying to live up to the excellent standard(s) that you have set, for the rest of us in here.

Been to the OTB yet today? LOL!

However we get there – plane, train or yacht
I hope that no one on board needs to facht
It will be close quarters
and we will have orders
To behave or we will have to go back to staht!

LOL!

Funny!

“You go, Girl!”

(And you wipe, afterwards!)

@ autumn hehehe I read that several different ways

@ jackadams – yup I put my money on Arrrgh

:37 min

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8bYGXytLBE&feature=related

Thanks Jack and Bri_L – it must be the Massachusetts accent in me….(we actually weren’t allowed to say faht in my house – so I just said “he traffed!”)

Who names their horse Arrrrr?
A pirate maybe? or probably a star.
I liked hearing the dude
Say it with attitude
Now can someone tell me – where is my carrrrrrr?

OMG!!!!

That racetrack announcer was so FUNNY!

You know (not said in Limerick form, I’m sorry!), years ago I was in Las Vegas, and I decided to attend the closed-circuit “Running of the Roses” at one of the casinos, and bet on the possible outcome.

The horse I bet on, came in DEAD LAST!

No, I take that back, the DEAD HORSE came in BEFORE the horse on which I wagered…

Someone had told me, “You shoulldn’t bet on THAT horse!”

When I asked why not, the guy said, “Look carefully at the Jockey. He’s carrying a book and flashlight with him! Also, I believe his LUNCH is in that paper sack!”

I bet $20 on that horse, and lost my butt.

When I did some research on the history of that particular horse and jockey, one reviewer wrote, “They don’t use a stopwatch to ‘time’ him; they use a calendar.”

It reminds me of the time that I was playing Roulette in Las Vegas, and I was standing right next to this big MAFIA dude, who was playing the same wheel as I.

The croupier started the ball rolling, and it skipped out of the inner wheel assembly and onto the floor, where it rolled under the cashier cage.

They paid off to the MAFIA dude, because he had bet on THE FLOOR.

I didn’t even know that you could DO that!

Wow, a whole new side of vegas!!

It ain’t all circus circus and clown prostitutes.

I’ve always wondered, speaking of Las Vegas, why there was never a place that sold Pizza! Pizza! in Circus Circus.

he he

groan groan

(^_^)

You don’t like occasional puns?
To read them will give you the runs?
I could read them all day,
Without any pay,
They’re overdone fun, everyone!

(Damn! I screwed up! The final word should have ended in an “s.”)

Could have used: ‘and loved by all nuns’ LOL!

Of course I love a good pun!
I’m the queen of them, second to none!
Just ask all my friends
They’ll say it never ends
For that, I will never be done!

I’m getting a really bad pain,
Inside of my head in my brain,
Please do not yelp,
Just give me your help,
To rid me of this bad migraine!

http://www.fluther.com/disc/22492/will-someone-please-explain-this-riddle-solution-to-me/

I just got back from rowing,
On our mountain it has been snowing
The water was cold
It was hard to hold
The oars but I had to keep going!

I’d love for you all to come here,
You can shack with me, don’t fear!
I’ve got spare beds
For about 4 heads
So please visit me my dears!

I hope your cold gets better
Don’t let yourself get wetter
I feel for you
I get them too
And my nose hasn’t recovered yet-ter!

Now I really have to go,
I won’t be back tomorrow
I have lots to do
To get ready for you
Coming over, a party I must throw!

Sorry I can’t help you with that riddle
I went over it and then started to fiddle
This late in the day
My mind starts to play
So I went and sat down in the middle!

Can’t believe this is hap-nin to me,
I’m getting “burned out,” I can see,
I do not know why,
But, oh, by and by,
I am losing my a-bil-i-ty

I’m getting exhausted, I feel,
The Internet’s losing appeal,
I feel “out of place,”
Like I’m losing some race,
My sadness, it’s had to conceal..

I’m drowsy & tired & sick,
I just feel like 12 kinds of “ick,”
Rain falls down from the sky,
That might just explain why,
I feel like I just ate arsenic.

I am trying to cheer myself up,
To convince myself I’m still a “pup,”
But the truth is to me,
That I’m over 50,
But I’ll leave all of you to go sup.

There’s no one to chat with right here,
And all of my friends are not near,
I am all alone,
With just a cell phone,
And I wish for a ringing to hear.

If these words should survive me this night,
Just remember I’m not feeling “right,”
Depression, you see,
Is a “constant” with me,
It can kill anyone’s appetite.

I’m addicted to writing & sharing,
With my friends who are loving & caring,
Isolation, to me,
Is my worst enemy,
Here’s my soul; it is what I am baring.

To be without love is a curse,
And frankly, there’s nothing much worse,
Your heart aches inside,
And you want to go hide,
From the rest of the world, in a hearse.

I have done all my meds for today,
But still, I don’t feel I’m OK,
Diabetes is rough,
And I’m not all that tough,
My emotions are in disarray.

Well, Jack I don’t know you well
But there is something I can tell
You are pretty tough
And I know it is rough
Please don’t go into a shell!

Jack you’ve managed to say a lot and explain
How you feel and that your’re in pain
I’m sure the rest would agree
That you have ability
To bring us into your brain.

Jack, you have really dug
Up your feelings – don’t shrug
I can understand this emotion
And when you write – your devotion
So, let’s all give a group {{{{HUG}}}}!

JA, I know how you are feeling.
Depression can get you to reeling.
I usually hide
What is roiling inside
But it makes everything less appealing.

I’ll say that you might need some rest.
I know I do when I’m put to the test.
Today I was low,
But tomorrow I’ll glow
And then soon I’ll be back to my best!

And when Shrubbery we all go to see
There’ll be nary of trace of ennui.
We’ll all be at top form
– Which is surely the norm -
And live our wildest dreams, fancy-free.

Jack all of your feelings are true
your down and your feeling quite blue
it seems to me friend
that you see no end
just know that we are here for you

And I myself know of your ways
I have been down for most of my days
at just 39
depressed most of the time
medicated in multiple ways

it took over 22 years
to get over my doubts and my fears
that I’d never be right
feel uplifted or bright
but I found my and I think you’ll find yours

Let’s return to the task that’s at hand,
Spreading Limericks, all over the land,
With a smile on my face,
I return to my place,
As someone who is back in demand?

My anxiety’s gone just for now,
To cure it, I do not know how,
But I’ll fight it, I will,
And ‘twill give me a thrill,
To defeat it, then hear you say “WOW!”

A “group hug” does sound really fun!
Like nakedness, under the sun,
Either way you feel great,
Until it gets late,
And then, all your fun is now done!

For Autumn:

Your kindness to me is most rare,
And is really is beyond compare,
I thank you I do,
For a friendship that’s true,
It is something I wish to declare.

For McBean:

You have a great way with your words,
They are not the least bit absurds,
I’m grateful to you,
And give love to you, too,
On the wings of some wonderful birds.

(Give me a break! I know that “absurds” is not a real word! LOL)

For Bri_L:

I really can’t tell you how much,
Your words to my soul, they did touch,
A buddy like you,
Is a dream that came true,
You are there, when I am in a clutch.

For Autumn, McBean & Bri_L:

I’m grateful to you, a great trio,
Whom I’d like to take right down to Rio,
That may come to pass,
Once I get off my [bad word]
And go back to work for a Leo!

(Leo = Horoscope sign usage)

So glad that you’ve come back from “there”.
And we’re honored that with us you’d share.
We all have our “stuff”
And it gets pretty rough
But it’s great to know people who care.

(And we do!)

You all are such a great lot,
To Fluther a good thing you have brought,
You’re there for each others,
Like sisters and brothers,
A community here is what we’ve got.

You are part of it too, Allie Dear,
It’s wonderful to see you here,
Please stop by when you can,
If you’re not in Iran,
And post all that you wish, without fear.

McBean:

The feelings I get from this “tribe,”
Are increasingly hard to describe,
But your words I hold dear,
When I read them in here,
To others, this thread I’ll prescribe!

I’ll mostly pop in in the night,
I’ll write what I please without fright,
Limericks sure are snazzy,
The writers are jazzy,
And reading them brings me delight.

Hi all! I’ve been out for the day
I hope you don’t think I was lax in any way!
I ‘m so glad to see you Jack
In rare form – he’s back!
And now I’m off to watch the Red Sox play!

The Red Sox are “OK,” I guess,
But sometimes, they do make a mess,
But in this retort,
There’s Logan Airport,
Which runs with too much carelessness!

If it is OK with everyone, I’d to share this anecdote about how I got introduced to Limericks, by a 7th grade “Old Maid” English teacher, whom I couldn’t stand.

I think that she mentioned the subject of Limericks, only because she was required to do so, and not because she was really crazy about the subject, but what cracked up the entire class (as maybe she might have intended) was when she described the pattern a Limerick should take, and these were essentially her words:

“A Limerick sounds like this:”

Buh-duh-DUH-duh Buh-duh-duh Buh-duh-duh,
Buh-duh-DUH-duh Buh-duh-duh Buh-duh-duh,
Buh-duh-DUH-duh Buh-duh,
Buh-duh-DUH-duh Buh-duh,
Buh-duh-DUH-duh Buh-duh-duh Buh-duh-duh!

We were almost falling out of our chairs; we were laughing so hard!

Then she gave us a homework assignment, which was to bring to the next class, one of our favorite Limericks, either one we made up ourselves, or one we read in a book.

The next day in class, when asked to recite my own favorite Limerick, I stood up and began,

“There was an Old Maid from Nantucket…”

I spent the rest of that day in the Principal’s office waiting room, for some reason.

For Autumn:

I hope that Red Sox did win,
And your love for them’s real genuine,
‘Cause they are a great team,
And it is fun to scream,
And be in the stands, through thick-and-thin!