Social Question

harple's avatar

Who's gonna let us guys know when you die (read on!)?

Asked by harple (10448points) October 28th, 2010

If you have a will (or even if you don’t), have you thought about or made any provision for your online presence? Do you have your passwords written somewhere for one select person to access your account and post a goodbye message in the event of your death?

If you did, who would you trust with this, and what would your final-goodbye question and details be for Fluther?

I think mine might be “May I come back and haunt you?” followed in the details by a brief outline of who was posting on my behalf (probably my brother) and when and how I died, and perhaps what Fluther had meant to me.

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36 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Ahhh, technology. That is a good idea lol. We now have to prepare for informing our online family of our deaths now lol. I guess I would just tell whoever was th emost tech-saavy to do it for me, maybe a cousin that is around my age or a wife.

downtide's avatar

My partner has my passwords for my blogs, and instructions to post there with details if anything happens to me. I should perhaps give him the password to my Second Life account too.

wundayatta's avatar

I can’t imagine that I would still be fluthering when I die. I would be long forgotten. I doubt if people would even be around to remember someone who had stopped maintaining a presence five or ten years earlier.

BoBo1946's avatar

Loll… equate Fluther twith my job of 25 years! A week later. “Now, what was his name!!!!!!”

gasman's avatar

I keep a “In Case Of Death” file on my Windows desktop—it contains a (short) list of websites to be notified, along with padlock combinations & such. None of it is terribly important, but it makes things that much easier for my grieving survivors.

Blackberry's avatar

@gasman Lol…...And a program that automatically deletes porn when the folder is opened.

JustmeAman's avatar

For many it wouldn’t make one bit of difference to let anyone on the internet know you are gone. I am one of those so I will not announce it. I will just be gone and there will not be one that notices. Grin

downtide's avatar

@JustmeAman My partner is like that. He doesn’t really belong to any online communities; most of the people he talks to online are also his offline friends and family.

marinelife's avatar

I have given it thought, but done nothing about it.

YoBob's avatar

The real question is, would you guys care?

bob_'s avatar

I’ll just haunt you guys.

Jeruba's avatar

I have a folder in the main directory on my hard drive labeled ‘My Death’. It contains several files, among them one that lists people to notify. I haven’t put fluther on the ‘notify’ list, but maybe I should. The folder also contains a bio sketch (good enough for an obit) and a few express wishes beyond the sort of thing that would be found in a will.

Files and folders that are password-protected should just be deleted unopened. Most of my writing is not password-protected.

As for other passwords, such as to my e-mail accounts and to websites that I own, I have a folder called ‘Passwords’. It contains a Word file that is password-protected. There’s an unprotected text file in the same folder that says to look for a key. The key is in fact on a keychain hanging in plain sight from my computer desk, but it isn’t a physical key—it’s a key tag that has written on it two names in which the password to the password file is embedded. My kids are smart. They’ll figure it out.

@wundayatta, I’ll remember you. And I won’t be the only one. If I’m not fluthering in my senile infirmity, it’ll only be because I can’t get a shot at the communal computers in the dayroom at the elder care facility. All those old guys are going to be on there pounding away at World of Warcraft like there’s no tomorrow.

JilltheTooth's avatar

All that organization and well thought out preparation is totally beyond my capabilities, therefore I will simply out-live the hell out of all of you. I’ll be fluthering away in lonely splendor, asking and answering my own questions, flaggin my own crap and pissing myself off just to keep it lively. That should prompt @Jeruba , at least, to haunt me because I will make many grammatical and punctuation mistakes…...and I’ll eat delicious sandwiches at my keyboard to drive @bob_ nuts

Aster's avatar

I think I’ll just vanish and make you wonder !

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No grand announcements,I’ll just show up at your window as a ghost..whaaa haaa haaaaaaaaaa :)

Aster's avatar

^^^^^^^^^^^^^Lucy, you are ONE in a million! Truly.

BoBo1946's avatar

@bob_ haunt…wrong! haunting us now!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Aster Have some coffee on in case I arrive in the morning :)

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’m sure it would get mentioned on my Facebook and then someone from Fluther could pass on the word here if anyone cared about it.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Seaofclouds: Wait til after we have lunch, OK?

Kayak8's avatar

@Jeruba I love the approach you have taken to this. I have written my obit, etc, but had not thought through what to do with all the information. In my case, as I live alone, I will probably need to provide my thoughts on funeral arrangements to a living someone (it will be days before anyone looks at my computer).

Jeruba's avatar

@Kayak8, when I feel like I’m getting close to a countdown, assuming I’m still at home and retain some competencies, I’ll probably stick a note on the refrigerator with a magnet as a way of starting the scavenger hunt.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Meh, if I like someone enough to figure they need to know about my death, I’ll actually have that person’s email or phone number. I don’t really care enough to have a family member log on to every single site that I goof off on to tell people I’m dead. If you don’t see me here for a while, I’ve either lost interest in the site, or I’m dead.

Berserker's avatar

@bob_ Oh man I was totally gonna say that. XD

But yeah, I’ve made no preparations for this. Probably won’t either.

wundayatta's avatar

@Jeruba After ten years of non-participation? As old as you would be? It doesn’t seem likely that anyone would remember anyone else. Or am I just projecting my own memory problems on others? I can’t remember people I’ve written a serious amount of PMs to weeks after the correspondence stops. It’s all gone. I have to read everything over again just to remember what I know… knew? Although, perhaps you are right. There probably are a few people here that I would remember forever… or until senility set in, whichever happened first. You would be one of those people. Thanks for saying you’d remember me.

Jeruba's avatar

@wundayatta, I clearly remember my best friend Janet: her appearance, her personality, her birthdate, and the full address where I wrote to her for at least two years after she moved away from my street when we were both eight. I remember the name of every girl in my college freshman dorm and which room each was in. I remember the names of my landlord’s six children, in order, at the house I lived in 35 years ago. I can probably still name a third of the kids in my first-grade class, even though I was never in the same class with any of them again. I can even describe the dress Virginia Lyons wore the day she got sent home from school. I don’t know why I remember these things but could never have told you my annual salary at any time during my working life. I will remember you.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

A ‘friend’ from another online site went MIA one day. By the second day, a few of us asked each other if they had heard from Dean. On Day 4, the word was out that Dean had passed away. His closest online friend knew his real name and location; an internet search turned up his obituary. Dean was 52 and had a sudden heart attack.

While the membership of this site (SL @downtide) greatly outnumbers Fluther, there were enough who knew him and cared that a virtual banner was hung at his regular hangout for a period. Fluther is a smaller and tighter community. You might be surprised by how many people would notice your absence and might worry or wonder.

I would like to request that you all write or update your last wishes to include Fluther. Leave your password with instructions to post a notice on your profile for at least a week before deleting your account; maybe even let Auggie know (if she’s willing). You can always update your last requests again once you decide to give up this site.

As a side note, I’ve been worried about Seek and Mom2Be for over a week now, as they have been MIA. Seek mentioned that she’s been ill with gallbladder problems and Mom2Be is due to deliver in December. If anyone has an update on them, please let me know.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Seek posted on Facebook that her internet was down on Tuesday and they were hoping to get it back up soon. Not sure about Mom2Be.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

In the event of my death Grisaille will let everyone here know about it, and vice versa – if he wishes.

CaptainHarley's avatar

My wife knows to post on here, Facebook, on Kaneva, and to send some emails to people I’ve known for years now. This is a good idea, to include this in your will. Although chances are slim, couples have been known to exit together.

YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, my husband and my son are both instructed to ‘sign off’ for me. But, really, since I plan to see my 100th birthday in about 33 years or so, I don’t think it will be an issue.

CaptainHarley's avatar


Lemmie know how that works out for ya! : D

YARNLADY's avatar

@CaptainHarley Barring unforeseen accidents, I have the right genes (long lived ancestors) to do it.

Berserker's avatar

It’s not that uncommon for people who keep up a good health to live up close to 100, sometimes a little passed that, even if they may not have the right genes.

My grandpa on my dad’s side was an alcoholic and chain smoker his entire life. He had to stop both after this pacemaker thing he got, but he’s currently 92, so…I don’t see why @YARNLADY couldn’t do it. (I am assuming you don’t smoke or drink or anything.)

CaptainHarley's avatar


Me too. Unfortunately it looks like Vietnam and Agent Orange short circuited that longevity in my case. Sigh!

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