Social Question

gameface1001's avatar

How would you feel about this date?

Asked by gameface1001 (15points) November 6th, 2010

So I made plans with this guy(im a guy BTW) to go see a movie and dinner tonight. This date was planned for a week now. We don’t know each other very well and we have only been talking for about a little over a week now. He has seemed pretty interested, texting and calling me throughout the days and now an hour before we are suppose to go out he cancels and says that hes really tired and had a busy day with his sister.

Now I know his story holds up because he pocket dialed me by mistake and the voicemail kinda confirmed his story without him even knowing lol.

All I said back to him was “It’s cool maybe some other time” He said he was really sorry and I said “don’t worry about it” and that was the end of the conversation.

Would you be bummed out? Should I still try and talk to him or see if he contacts me later? How should I take this?

Right now I’m thinking I just wont say anything and if he text me to make plans or something ill go with it since his story seemed legit but I don’t go out of my way to try and contact him or anything…what do you think?

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18 Answers

Whitsoxdude's avatar

I think you don’t need to even ask this question. You already know.

BarnacleBill's avatar

It’s disappointed to have your plans fall through at the last minute.

Check in with him in a few days to see how he’s doing, and see if he suggests doing something. Sounds like he’s close to his family.

perspicacious's avatar

He doesn’t get a second chance. A hard day at work is SO lame.

jrpowell's avatar

It could be a legit reason. I don’t really see the harm in meeting him in the future. If it was me I would probably wait for him to contact me. If he doesn’t try to make plans in the next 24 hours move on.

gameface1001's avatar

do you really think what he did is wrong though, he was moving stuff all day with his sister….couldn’t he just actually be exhausted? or should I really write him off for this?

gameface1001's avatar

@johnpowell thats along the lines of what I was thinking

BarnacleBill's avatar

He was moving his sister? Totally legit. He should have told you in advance that he was doing that before he made plans, so you would at least have some warning. It could be that other people were supposed to show up to help, and didn’t. That always happens.

It’s too bad he didn’t think to call you earlier in the day and let you know that he was in a bit of a bind because he was helping out. Is this someone you’ve met online, or do you know eachother IRL?

gameface1001's avatar

not moving his sister, helping her clean stuff from the basement and then went to get her dog at the pound…he said he just smelled like dog and was exhausted and wasnt sure he would have time to get ready but didnt mention rescheduling

BarnacleBill's avatar

That’s kinda lame, then. He had control over that situation.

Actually moving his sister would have been understandable – you have a truck, and you have to be out of one place and into the other in a day.

gameface1001's avatar

Yeah I’m really not sure how to feel about it over all…part of me understands….and part of me is kind of annoyed…I guess I just wont say anything and if he really seems to make an effort to try again Ill give him a shot but if not then eff that ha

BarnacleBill's avatar

I think you’re justified in being annoyed. The fact that it was his sister makes it a little better; at least he gets on with at least part of his family.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Let’s break this down: you don’t know him very well; you two have communicated on a daily basis for the past week; he called in advance to beg off; he offered an explanation that you’ve corroborated; he offered what sounds like a sincere apology.

There are people who are optomistic about carrying out plans and yet fail to do so because they get sucked up into the present. It isn’t a good excuse, but it is an explanation. Right now, your expectations of his behavior are based upon what you would do in such a situation.

Is it okay to be bummed out? Of course. Should you contact him or wait to see if he contacts you? My gut instinct says that if you enjoy this guy’s company, give him a call when you are ready and see if he is interested in joining you for something less formal. He’ll either agree and show up, agree and not show up, turn down the offer but suggest something else, or turn down the offer altogether. That way, you can obtain some type of closure on this one incident or possibly on the direction of the potential relationship.

chyna's avatar

I’d do what you are thinking of doing, just see what happens. If he calls, then go out, if not, that is your answer.

gameface1001's avatar

Should I still try and talk to him tonight cause I kinda feel like maybe he feels bad or stupid and thats why that was kind of the end of convo, or do you think its best to not say anything and wait and see if he says anything?

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Nah, give it a day or two before making the effort to contact him. In my experience with those that consistently bow out at the last minute, be it with me or anyone else, they reach out in the next 24–48 hours once they’ve sorted out their situation. It will also give you some time to come to rational terms about how you feel.

gameface1001's avatar

I think thats a great idea @Pied_Pfeffer only reason I asked was because we usually talk at some point during the day so I wasnt sure by not saying anything if that made me seem like I was angry and kind of bitter about the situation. I think waiting is for the best though. Really it’s not a huge deal if we never talk again ha I wasn’t sure how I felt about him overall anyways

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Here is where you two are at the icky point of any relationship. DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. There is a probability that he will if this is his normal behavior. He doesn’t know you well enough yet to know how he will react to his bowing out and might be afraid to call. This is why I suggest that if you feel like there is a connection, go ahead and put your pride on the line and give him a call in a day or two. And please, do not send a txt message if you are the one to make next move. He’ll need to hear your voice in order to get you are willing to forgive, if indeed you are.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d think the guy was full of it. It’s a Saturday, most people don’t work and if they are excited to meet a new person and other plans starts to bog them down then it’s my experience they call or text earlier on. I’d move this perspective date from the warm bucket to the tepid one. Move on unless he starts banging down your door offering to take you somewhere fabulous, don’t make him a priority again.

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