Should I tell his girlfriend he took advantage of me?

(This is one of the other incidents I discussed in a response to my previous question, http://www.fluther.com/111962/is-this-date-rape-would-it-stand-in-court/. These two situations happened about two weeks within each other, the one I’m about to describe happening first, about a month and a half ago.)

I went to a small party, smoked some weed and then soon after got very drunk. There was a guy there that I was somewhat attracted to, but under normal circumstances, I would never come on to him because he had a girlfriend. Even if he was single, I wouldn’t do anything with him.. he’s really not that great of a guy, I have absolutely no clue why I have the ounce of attraction for him that I do. Even though he’s in a relationship, he’s had a thing for me for a while, which I usually just blow off.

Anyway, while high/drunk, the minuscule feelings I did have for him came out. He took advantage of the situation and got very flirty. He kissed me, I kissed him back. After a few minutes, he asked if I wanted to go in a room. I just laughed and said no, then walked away and started dancing. I could hear him and his friends talking while they were watching me, not even three feet away. This is what I remember hearing: “God I want that so bad..” “Well then go get her, what are you waiting for?” “She said she didn’t want to.” “Well you got that kiss pretty easily, didn’t you? She’ll come around.” “Yeah I hope so.. should I go get something?” “Yeah man, I would.” “You sure?” “Yeah. Definitely. Go get them.” “Ok, I’ll be back.” And then he leaves to go get the condoms from his car.

Even though I could hear them talking about me like that, plain as day, I didn’t seem to care. It was all registering, but my mind was powerless over my body. I wanted to react, but somehow I couldn’t. I kept dancing instead. He came back, and then went inside a room. I saw and obliviously followed him in. He started kissing me and was about to take off my shirt, when I backed away and just looked at him. “You don’t want to?” “No.” “Ok.” He started to leave. “Wait, where are you going?” “I’m gonna go back out there since you don’t want to do anything.” “Well why did you even come here in then?” He smiled and said, “Because I knew you would follow me.”

I got angry at that and went outside back to the party. I stupidly had about 2 or 3 more drinks (by my own choice, no one persuaded me or anything), and things progressed with the guy. I eventually gave in to his advances, he lead me into a different room, and we had sex. I was conscious during it but very drunk, I can remember just bits and pieces. I do know for sure though that he did use a condom the whole time, thank goodness. Afterwards, I got dressed and passed out.

I did give consent, but I was very drunk/high. I don’t feel as if he raped me… but I do feel very taken advantage of. He definitely had his wits about him and knew what he was doing. As a self-proclaimed alcoholic, he “has to drink massive amounts of alcohol to even feel anything”, which that night, he did not. He only had a few beers. We haven’t really talked about it at all, but he’s been bragging about it to everyone… and I mean everyone. (Which is an entirely different situation in itself, but I haven’t let it get to me. I’m ignoring everything and putting it all behind me. It’s begun to die down already anyway.) I have discussed it with the mutual friends that were there though. I told them he just got really lucky, the only reason it happened was because I was very much under the influence of alcohol and weed, I wouldn’t have gone near him otherwise.

(I realize that this entire thing could have been avoided had I not drank so much and forfeited control over myself to alcohol. As I have previously stated, I have since reformed my habits and have stopped being so careless. I am in therapy and am bettering my life and myself as a person)

To my knowledge, he hasn’t told his girlfriend. The one time I asked him if he did, he never responded. I feel like she deserves to know… if I were in her position, I would definitely want to. However, I’m not sure it’s my place to tell her, and I have no idea how she would react, if she would even believe me. I do not know her at all. I’m not even all that good of friends with the guy.

Should I tell her? If so, how would I go about it?