I wonder if the collective can make me feel better?

I have to go to the doctor, a specialist, it’s not good, but I prefer not to go into details.

Anyway, I made a pain of myself, wanting a specific doctor, when they set my first appointment; giving me first available rather than a doctor who might be best suited. I am a nervous reck about having pushed for the change. I just think that office probably already thinks I am an annoying problem patient.

Add to it, my aunt is dying. She went into the hospital 3 weeks ago, 78 pounds and almost 5’3”. She is one of my favorite people. My mom, her sister, went to her immediately, and several days later I flew in, and my mom left. My sister, who lives near my aunt, has carried most of the burden organizing everything that needs to be done for her, I won’t bother you with details.

Also, I am taking a medication, that I hate taking and want to stop as soon as possible, but need to be taking it for my doctor’s appointment, and having insisted on the other doctor, the appointment was pushed farther out. I agreed to the later date, but it interferes with a trip my husband and I were taking. He will still be going on the trip, I can meet him two days late, but he is not happy I won’t be with him, neither am I for that matter, and I will be alone at the doctor. I am likely to have a painful biopsy done, that most likely will cause pain for more than just a few hours,

My husband just called the doctor for me to see if there is anyway to make my appoinment sooner, which will interfere with helping my aunt. There is no good solution. I will have to fly directly from where my aunt lives to Vanderbilt for the appointment, never coming home inbetween.

Now, I think I should have stayed with the first appointment and the other doctor, but would be terrified to even ask to go back to it.

I am totally a mess thinking the staff at the doctors office has labelled me a pain. It is a big deal to me, because it is likely I will need ongoing care, and as I said surgery. Some health professionals do punish patients. They get annoyed and treat you with less courtesy, and less patience. I can’t have that with what I am facing.