How does one write a novel while enraged?

I’ve had a rocky past and I want to write about it… how can I keep the level of positive feeling rage I feel while writing about my past…? My rage seems to come and go… I am getting professional help but it’s not helping so I want to write about my past and describe my emotions. Currently I have plenty of swears and sarcasm. Can anyone help or suggest something I could watch on the internet or YouTube or a Library book to read on the subject? Those of you who know me from my past questions and answers probably already know what has enraged me. Any tips would be welcome.