Social Question

turtlemay's avatar

How do I turn down a girl that wants a relationship?

Asked by turtlemay (9points) December 12th, 2011

A girl who I am barely acquainted with has expressed romantic interest in me. I do not want a relationship, nor am I interested in being friends at all. How do I communicate this without hurting her feelings or giving her false hope?

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10 Answers

partyrock's avatar

Say you are not ready for a relationship right now ? You want to focus more on your work or studies?

judochop's avatar

If you are barely acquainted with her then why even respond? I am sure that would imply the message.

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

If I were you I wouldn’t turn down a friendship, if offered, unless the person was totally repugnant to me for some gross reason: racist, misogynist (or man-hater), drug or alcohol abuser or criminal – along those lines. What you can do if you just “don’t really want to be friends”, but the girl really isn’t actually distasteful to you is to say in response to her romantic overtures, simply, “I don’t feel that way about you, but let’s just be friends.” She probably won’t want to. That’s how that usually works out. If she does want to be friends, and you still don’t want her as a close friend, then just don’t make much time for her. But that’s generally unlikely in any case.

chyna's avatar

Ignore her and she will get the message. You don’t owe her an explanation. How does she know she wants a relationship with you if she barely knows you?

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t think you need to do anything. We hear these things—often they are rumors. If you are in high school or college, the girls might say one thing, but when you meet them, it turns out to be something else entirely. You just don’t know.

So until there is someone in your faced, asking you out or whatever, you don’t have to do a thing. And when they do ask you out, you can practice saying, “no thankyou.” It really isn’t all that hard.

ragingloli's avatar

Tell her that you like men.

the_overthinker's avatar

How did she express her romantic interest in you?

If it was a direct approach, then you may as well give her a direct answer.. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, sorry.” or something along the lines of that.

If it was an indirect approach, then just don’t respond to any of her attempts at flirting, or always be “busy” if she asks you to go out. Or, in this case, you can also just be direct and tell her the truth..

Why don’t you want to be friends with her though? Just curious.

15barcam's avatar

The nicest way to let her down is to just say no when she wants to hang out and do everything in your power to NOT seem like you might be flirting with her. Girls have a tendency of making every little thing into a big deal. For example, you might laugh at a not-so-funny joke of hers to be nice and she might decide that means you like her that way.

gruff's avatar

Gently…your response could may determine whether she asks another guy out or not!

AnonymousWoman's avatar

You may not be able to help hurting her feelings. Accept that you might. Tell her straight up that you are not interested in a relationship. Make sure to let her know that you are not the type of person who enjoys leading people on and you refuse to lead her on. This may make her like you more because of your honesty, so be prepared for that. Keep saying “No”. Be firm until she gets the message. If she doesn’t back off, tell her that you’ve told her your feelings and are no longer interested in discussing that topic. If she tries to discuss it again, ignore her.

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