Is this paragraph a good description?
Asked by
Puputom (
34
)
July 13th, 2015
This is a simple but meaningful website that you can easily send greetings to your friends. The desiner suitablly uses color and 3D modle that has cute carttons. Traditionally, we Chinese have been used to send the cards by buying paper cards, but in the web, because of the suitable usage of color and 3D, I am really curious to play the 3D model that is active when you move your mouse, and tend to send cards to one of my friends.
Color is an imortant factor that decides whether browsers want to browse it further. At the beginning of clicking the web, there is a content loading. The designer employs short sentences and pink color as a mian color to direct users, so that the browsers can pay more attention to browse further.
3D model is another shining point that hooks browser’s attention. In my experience, when I first watch this web, the model absorbs my mind, which I do want to play it and send it to my friends.
Making fantastic webpage does not acquire many great information included, it only involves simple color or fun idea, which could more powerful communication to browsers such as the website.
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8 Answers
Not sure what the purpose of information is.
Also, spell check, please (carttons, desiner, suitablly, modle, imortant, mian .)
It’s difficult to consider the descriptive aspects, due to the large number of grammatical, spelling and syntax errors. The mistakes are so numerous that it is impossible to appreciate whatever message may be contained in the “description” The reader is forced to in effect “translate” the message.
Oh, dear, the English is not good.
I get the general idea but the English is very bad. If no effort has been taken to get the language right why should I have confidence in the product. Even a fantastic product is tainted by this poorly written description.
This is written by someone whose native language isn’t English
I think the paragraph is long therefore it becomes tedious to read especially due to the lack of context and grammatical errors. I guess it’s fine considering that you have put effort when English seems to be your second language. Moving forward I suggest paraphrasing the paragraph and trying to be concise. I suggest refraining from repeating “colour and 3D model” constantly.
Maybe copy and paste the paragraph into Quillbot or even ask ChatGPT.
Other than that, good job on trying. It’s okay to not be perfect. We all make mistakes. After all we are human.
But I suggest correcting the spelling mistakes as pointed out before.
Woah I just realised that this is a very old question. I was actually searching for something about descriptive writing and this popped up in the “related” column and I was intrigued.
Well I’m assuming you don’t need to know anymore but I wish you the best.
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