How can I avoid taking a drill to three oil pans?

I went out for a smoke on my porch and just noticed this.

http://imgur.com/a/58bXX

The first is a big ass van from the 70’s. The other two are sedans from 2000+.

This is making me ill. I live next to these idiots. They are all college kids and I was wondering how to inform them that gaskets are a thing.

Part of me just wants to drill through the oil pan at 4am to force action.