Have you lost someone who you wish you had rushed out to see when you heard they were sick?

Asked by JLeslie (65433) December 19th, 2018 from iPhone

A friend who I have known since 5th grade had posted on Facebook a month ago that her kidneys were failing and she was in the hospital. My first reaction was I wanted to drive to see her. She lives 3 hours away.

I texted her, and she said her mom and daughters were with her and she was on dialysis. I had the impression she was “ok.” I told her I’ll try to come out in a week or two if that worked for her. I had felt compelled to drive out right away, but after communicating with her, I felt it would be fine to go out when it was more convenient, and also she might be alone again and want company.

About ten days later I texted her to see how she was. She told me she was in the hospital, which surprised me. I asked her if she had been in this whole time. She said no, that she was having some problems, but she should be released in two days. I wrote her three days later 7:30 in the morning saying I want to come out Monday if that works for her, and within two minutes I saw a text flash back on my phone, “this is her mom, she died.”

I’m so upset. I regret not driving out right away, but mostly I’m very sad. All sorts of memories have been coming back, and I just can’t believe it. It seems her family didn’t expect her to die right away either, they seem to be struggling with making plans for her body, services, etc.

She was 51. Lots of people have been telling me it’s upsetting, because we start to feel our own mortality, but mostly I just feel the loss. I always think I’ll likely die young, I just don’t expect my friends to.

A couple of people had similar events—losing someone suddenly and just before they planned to go see the person. The stories made me feel better, not alone, and so I thought I’d ask jellies about their stories that are similar.