Would you say "I'll leave it, thanks." is an okay reply to my brother in a family group chat of seven people?

I think it would be more gracious to say something a little warmer. Perhaps along the lines of, “That’s a really nice offer but I don’t think we can make it (or travel that far….)

I’ve had to read this several times as it is hard to follow. Your brother is asking the family if they would like to meet up at his house in your country or his? Either way, the invitation has been offered. It sounds like the options are to either accept, decline, or offer another option. As for the last, it’s a group venue, so it’s up for discussion.

As for the response, it’s a bit curt, but it is clear.

I’m unclear on what your answer means. What does “I’ll leave it, thanks.” mean? The response doesn’t make sense to me.

It seems like if you weren’t able to meet up you might say, “I don’t think I’ll be able to meet up.” or “I’m sorry I’ll be unable to make it.”

I don’t know what “I’ll leave it” means, so I’m not sure if it was a suitable answer or not.

^^ I agree, unless someone said, “This is what we’re doing – take it or leave it.” That would be a different matter.

Leave what? Leave the chat?

If I can’t go, I’d say something along the lines of regretting I’ll miss seeing him and the rest of the family.

If I can make it, and not everyone will fit for the overnight, I’d offer a suggestion like people chipping in for some people to stay in a hotel. Or, if I can afford a room for myself, then I’d just say I’ll be at the meet-up and stay in a hotel so others can stay in the house. I like to set the temperature where I like and have some privacy anyway.

Hi. Just be more clear (sorry if I wasn’t), when I said I’ll leave it thanks: my brother understood it as I won’t be going to my (other) brother’s house to see them – which is exactly what I meant – not that I want to leave the group. (found out afterwards)

Thanks.

Ok. Recently, I was taken out of a group chat when I couldn’t attend the event the group chat was created for. I think maybe some people see it as a favor not to get all the continuing messages, but I understand why it might hurt your feelings, especially if it’s a family thing.

Why not just ask why you were taken out? Then you will know why.

I did ask. He said it was because he thought my message “I’ll leave it, thanks” was cold (and he said part of why he text me about it afterwards was because I never text him for his birthday the week before – which I actually totally forgot about – really due to worldwide Internet being down on his B Day – six months ago.. and I forgot after that and so on).

But I explained to him afterwards (after he removed me from the group) that I didn’t mean for it to sound cold – that it was just miscommunication. It was all miscommunication really. But we had an argument – because of how it was discussed/dealt with.

I just felt it was a step too far to remove me from the group – he made me feel embarrassed.

Sounds like you both felt each other went too far or were too cold. Hopefully, you can both agree it was a misunderstanding and you don’t hold onto any grudges.

Both of you had your feelings hurt.

I am not the type to stay angry once the air is cleared about something like this, but I have inlaws who will stop talking to each other for YEARS. I still can’t believe they do that.

I hope you straighten it out. My Inlaws, if you apologize they actually use it against you. In my family if someone apologizes usually the other person apologizes too and things get repaired quickly. I don’t know what your family is like.

Thank you for the clarification. I belong to three family chat groups. It’s simple: invite everyone to join and allow them to accept the invitation or not and let them to decide whether to stay or leave.

No one should be booted from a group without being offered a warning or an explanation.

Well, that’s what I thought. I thought it was unfair for him to do that. I found it difficult to take him seriously after he did that. I lost respect for him. Things were said and done by both of us. He screenshoted our messages to another family group chat. My other brother got involved..

… It’s not easy ha.

I agree he should have let you decide whether you wanted to drop out of that chat and not booted you out, but don’t stay angry, just let him know that really hurt your feelings. I’m hoping he’s not sinister enough to be happy you’re hurt. If you want you can ask him how he would feel if he was dropped from a group chat, and then let it go. If he has any conscience, which I think he does, he will feel badly about it, and that’s your “revenge” if you feel like you need any.

You’re only being honest, and it hopefully works towards you each hurting each other less in the future. Although, the whole birthday thing I think is not a reason for him to be mad at you if you usually remember. Mistakes happen, we forget things. Expecting other people to be perfect means we need to be perfect ourselves and that’s exhausting and disappointing.

In times like this, it’s time to pick up the phone and sort it out privately, unless it can be done face-to-face.

To be fair, Thanks, I’ll leave it” may have been interpreted that you weren’t interested and wanted out of the group chat, and/or he was sparing you from the organizational process since you couldn’t participate.

“I’ll let you know.” might have been better.